anxiety after IE

[wingwah]

Hi

I'm in my early 40's. Back in April last year, i collapsed due to infective Endocarditis which resulted to a Mitral valve repair. I later had to have a full mechanical replacement of the Mitral and Aortic valve 4 months later. The initial recovery was physically and mentally tough and i still suffer from aches and pains now and then.

I have 2 young children (18months & 3 year old) and there are certain activities (swimming, trampolining, Travel abroad, etc) that I would like to do/ teach them but feel really anxious when thinking about it. There's a part of me that says 'i can do this' and then there's the other part that says 'no, i can't'.

Just wondering if there are anyone in the same boat as me and have any advice. It sounds silly but i feel like i'm letting them down.

thanks

P

[Samsoncat]

I had ineffetive endocarditis and mechanical MVR last year. Anxiety was an issue for me post surgery. Seeing current news of Kevin Campbell the former footballer dying of IE, and prior repeated visits to A&E like me, I am thankful that I am live and well. A year on, I am jumping in the trampoline with my 2 daughters. I go swimming occasionally. Only thing I think is restricted for me is skiing, but would be interested to hear of people going skiing despite taking warfarin.

[scribbles-80]

Hi Wingwah,

Having heart disease, event or surgery can really knock your confidence-you’ve relied on your body to do so many amazing things for so long but suddenly everything changes and while things still work-you’re still alive-life has become different and the boundaries of your ability seem ambiguous and scary. As hard as it is, it’s okay to feel like this, you are still in the early stages of a recovery which is individual to you-no one has experienced what you have in quite the same way and you shouldn’t be pressured into anything that you are not ready for. There is no timeframe for this.

As for letting down your children-I am sure that this is absolutely not the case, that your recovery is fuelled by the desire be healthy and with them when they need you most. In their eyes you are likely to be the most amazing, brilliant person they know and love, after all, you’re their mum and it’s obvious in your post that you feel the same about them.

It’s sometimes hard to step back and allow others to do things for or with your children when you want to be the one but perhaps consider that this allows them to have a shared experience or interest that in other circumstances they would not have had- you can always be the best person to do arts and crafts with or the greatest storyteller in the world, it’s not what you do but the time that you spend with them that truly matters.

Give yourself time, the confidence will come back and you will surprise yourself (and the medical professionals) in what you are capable of doing, just do it when you are ready with no pressure.

You are doing brilliantly.

C x