I have just been diagnosed (one week ago) with a sinus venosus atrial septal defect after 35 years of no health concerns. This was an incidental finding first flagged via an X-ray for a totally unrelated rowing injury at the end of 2021 in which I was told my heart looked slightly enlarged but that it was probably nothing to worry about. Only now has the investigation been concluded. It feels like a bad dream and I am hoping the shock will give way soon to a more practical approach!
I have always been fit, and very active, both with dance (which was part of my career for a while) and also rowing (which I have done to a fairly high standard) and running/hiking/tennis. I was so shocked to receive this news and still feel like I’m processing. I have been told that I need open heart surgery, which terrifies me, for so many reasons. It was also put to me that a potential alternative procedure could be a Trancatheter Correction, but that this is a relatively new surgery.
At the moment I am feeling very overwhelmed and the weight of these decisions feel huge. I don’t want to put my body through such a traumatic procedure, unless it is absolutely necessary, but I also understand the risks of a newer procedure or indeed not having any procedure at all. In the end whatever decision I make, I will have to live with but this illusion of choice feels very stressful.
Although I have never had any obvious symptoms like fainting etc. I now realise that my symptoms might just be milder. I have been training for a half marathon, for the last few months, and have found it very very hard, far harder than 10 years ago. I was just thinking I needed to get my breathing right or just be more patient but since this diagnosis I have realised that over the past few years I have struggled at times with tight chest/breathlessness during exercise which didn’t feel as normal and has caused frustration, but I just always put it down to other viable explanations. Having read some articles I see that some other women my age started with similar mild symptoms, particularly noticeable when running. I am now realising that perhaps this condition has affected my ability in the past to move beyond a certain level. I would often put it down to needing to be mentally tougher or needing to get even fitter but it’s quite overwhelming to now see that it was my precious heart that perhaps couldn’t do the work. As my cardiologist said ‘we only know the heart we have’ but if mine is working twice as hard as a “normal” heart then perhaps I would notice a big difference post surgery.
I know there are lots more discussions to be had and choices to be made and lots of research to do to feel fully informed but if anyone has/is going through something like this I would love to hear your experiences.
This has also hit me particularly hard, as I had a very difficult break up only 4 months ago and moved out of our home just before Christmas. We agreed to have a period of space and no contact but we met up when I got this news and it was wonderful (his mum actually had open heart surgery in her 20s, so we are talking the 1970s there).
I don’t know yet if that relationship is completely dead, it certainly doesn’t feel it. There is a lot of love and we have been transformational for each other these past 3 years but for the moment the pain of that, coupled with this new diagnosis is making me feel rather alone and scared, despite having wonderful parents, friends and colleagues around me.
Any advice, experience or words would be greatly appreciated x