Help with dad after cardiac arrest

[Rockchic2]

My fatherinlaw is in hospital at the moment after having 3 cardiac arrests .If he comes out he will have to cone and live with us but I really dont know were to start

[Hidden]

I'm sure that you will get some replies from people with first hand experience. In the meantime you might find this a useful overview/starting point. carersuk.org/help-and-advic...

[Truesta123]

So sorry hear this . Let hope get him stabilised x

[sturon]

What a worrying time for you and your family. My husband survived two cardiac arrests and we are now 5 years on from that life changing event. He spent time in cardiac ITU, followed by coronary care, and finally a cardiac ward, 3 weeks in total. He had a defibrillator implanted in his chest as a precaution.

I can't say the first few months were easy, they most definitely were not. We were both on edge all the time. He would not be left alone, even for a minute. He was afraid of any crowded place and became very agitated if anyone came near to him. His short-term memory was affected which caused us both some frustration.

Well that was all back 5 years ago. Now we are living our lives again. We travel extensively, our last big trip (before Covid) was to tour Japan. We have lots planned for this year and to be honest we forget about his implanted 'paramedic'.

My only advise is take each day at a time and live for every moment. I hope your Father-in-Law makes it. Having a parent living with you will take some adjustment but he is safer with you than on his own.

My very best wishes and good luck.

[devonian186]

What sort of age , general fitness and weight is he? What has been the verdict on his condition since being in hospital? They presumably have some plan for him whether it is stents, medication or a bypass?

[Rockchic2 in reply to devonian186]

Hes 88 fairly fit .They brought him back twice then he was dnar but they overridden this and has had cpr and addles for 3rd time .He now has broken ribs .We were told he was on pallative care ,but we just dont know were we are at now??

[devonian186 in reply to Rockchic2]

bridgeit has written a very sensible comment. They need to provide a care package before releasing him. How much care you are able to provide should be part of the equation

[bridgeit]

You are about to enter into the minefield of arranging care for a family member. If my experience was anything to go by, you will need and should get support, but Local Authority and NHS resources are short and advice can be equally so.

Based on my experience, here's my offering as a starting point for you.

First, your dad-in-law should not be released from hospital without an assessment and suitable care package sorted out. Take care; if the hospital knows that you are taking on carer responsibility, they may just smile benignly at you and leave you to get on with it, discharging your dad-in-law and advising that you bring him to his hospital clinic appointments as and when. Make sure that he leaves hospital with proper care arranged unless it suits you to manage his care by yourself. Speak with his consultant and PALS if need be, before he is discharged.

Here's a starting point to better understand this: nhs.uk/conditions/social-ca...

Once you're in the role of carer, Social Services should do a carer's assessment of needs for you. Here's a reading reference: nhs.uk/conditions/social-ca...

Beware: your dad-in-law should leave hospital WITH a care package. The hospital must arrange this. They should not direct your dad-in-law towards social services instead, and encourage him to leave hospital without a care package in place. If that happens, you are deftly moved from the hospital's responsibility to social services and, believe me, you do not want that to happen if it can be avoided. Adult care in social services (local authority) is in a worse position in resource terms than the NHS.

If your dad-in-law needs continuing health care at (your) home (or in residential care), then the NHS should pay for it. Here's a reference for you to read: nhs.uk/conditions/social-ca... This kind of care cover is very complex to work through and the NHS bureaucrats (not the medics) work hard to wriggle out of paying for it. They try to push it onto means-testing under social services. This is understandable really; NHS cash is tight, but that is not your dad-in-law's problem, nor is it yours.

Here's another reference about continuing health care, just in case you feel that a continuing health care assessment isn't taking everything it should into account: farleydwek.com/videos/

These are just some starting points for you. You have a kind heart to take on carer responsibility. I hope your dad-in-law recovers well; he will undoubtedly do much better with you than in residential care. Good luck with the process and do make sure you take care of yourself as well as your dad-in-law.

[Rockchic2 in reply to bridgeit]

Thank you so very much for all this invaluable help you are so kind!!!

My hubby and me are disabled ourselves but we want to do whats best for him we have downstairs loo etc so its more comfortable for us to set him up in living room with bed and we can keep him warm and comfortable .we just dont know were ti start but youre information is brilliant .I hope i can keep you informed of progress .at the moment hes bin transferred from ccu to acu .

[bridgeit in reply to Rockchic2]

You are very welcome Rockchic. You will need to stay strong. Do let us know how you're getting on in due course. 🙂

[Rockchic2 in reply to bridgeit]

They were going to send father in law home on monday but now they have said next week sometime.Hes really not well today andcwe have been told the side that does all the pumping has been damaged grately which means only the electrical side is working.His feet and legs have swollen up aswell.I think they know hes not coming out though.Apparently he is the talk of the heart unit after all hes 88 and had 3 cardiac arrests in 2 weeks!Ive just got a feeling he wont be coming out somehow.Hes back on heart monitor now which he wasnt on yesterday

[bridgeit in reply to Rockchic2]

Take it one day at a time. Dad-in-law is in a safe place. There are worse things than being in hospital with heavy-duty drug relief on tap when things begin to get really tough. Take in his favourite newspaper and go through it with him and enjoy every minute you can now spend with him. I found our hospital's Costa Coffee outlet a marvel; rather large, foamy cups of it were constantly being ferried up to my relative, along with a delightful array of sugary fancies that were anything but healthy!

I hope you can make the most of the time you now have with dad-in-law and that everything is being managed in the most peaceful way possible, for all of you.

[Hidden in reply to bridgeit]

Good post. 👍