I'm struggling and need some thoughts. I don't need criticism, virtue BS, huggy stuff or comments from people who haven't or are NOT in my space (please).
Pre triple OHS in June 2021 I was a heavy functional drinker and vaper. Post surgery and now c7-weeks on I do not miss the vaping - completely stopped. However two weeks back I started drinking again, and I do not mean a bottle of lager a night... This is a "functional/functioning" issue. I have never discussed it with my GP but have actually always been honest on any data given to health professionals.
Post-OHS, medically my breathing is 1000% what it was before my op - my "steps" are 20k+/day. However my BP sys/dia are going mad now from a brilliantly acceptable <120 <80 post surgery (but pulse interestingly stable).
My Ramopril will double from 1.25 to 2.25 this week, and this will manage to a degree the BP. But that is not, as you will know if you have got this far in the post, the issue if I keep drinking. FWIW I have a minimal-dairy/Mediterranean diet so am not really fussed about solids.
I've Googled solutions but don't want to go there.
The issue is to stop or manage the drinking. I don't need do-gooder responses - just practical advice on how I can manage this.
Thanks guys
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Deserrol
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Hello Difficult sounds like your hooked on the Alcohol, Functioning Alcoholics are a lot more common than most people understand. Stress is a trigger to drink more than is good for you, and it also sounds liked your stressed looking for help !!!
You know that the only person that can help is your GP/Medical Professional and of course yourself, It is difficult to do it yourself. but you know as well as I do it will eventually Kill You. My Cardiologist said to me a week after having a HA If you Smoke again it will shorten your life considerable so I stopped with difficulty.
I do drink socially 4 to 6 cans of 5% vol beer probably on average once a week occasionally twice a week. So can't offer you much except if you want to shorten your life keep on the way are !!
ps Your Ramipril is quite a low dose, so someone is not to concerned over your BP. is Ramipril all you take ??
Right. Nice and direct. I’ll give you nice and direct. You’ve shown you have the strength and willpower to stop smoking / vaping. (Sorry, that’s maybe too huggy)
If you want to stop drinking, don’t drink. Simple. How to achieve this? Don’t buy alcohol.
Interestingly, I note you’re not sharing your consumption, but appearing to hide behind some perceived virtue shield of it being a ‘functional addition’ and you are ‘honest with health care professionals’. But you’re sufficiently self-aware and engaged to know who you’re fooling. Not them, btw.
If you want a magic bullet, there isn’t one. And while you’re attempting to limit the advice your given to that you want to hear, that’s disingenuous.
I mean, you clearly know you have a problem, whether it's "functional" or "nonfunctional." SO what have you tried? 12-step? in-patient rehab? It sounds like you can't stop on your own.
IMO, since you posted here, you are looking for some kind of advice. I'd say just figure out a way to eliminate alcohol from your life entirely. I've had friends who claimed to be able to handle a few drinks after acknowledging alcoholism and it was not pretty. "Zero" is much easier to understand than squishy words like "functional."
I'm somewhat lucky in that since I've been on heavy heart meds I've lost a taste for alcohol. I was never a heavy drinker but I definitely liked a few glasses or wine or beer. But now I can't even drink half a pint...
There was a time when I thought I might have a bit of a problem and thought a visit might be a good idea, if only to figure out if I actually had or not, however I am a life long Atheist. Unfortunately AA is based on belief in God and therefore not really very useful for maybe 55% of society? Please correct me if I am wrong but I believe this belief is laid down in the 12 basic rules of AA?
I've never had anything to do with AA but was interested in what you said, so I looked them up and they state categorically that their only requirement for belonging is a desire to stop drinking and they they are not allied to any sect, denomination or philosophy. I think they can be very useful although as I said I can't speak from personal experience
From the AA website: "Let's make no bones about it; the 12 step programme that members follow has its origins in a Christian group. As a consequence you will see God mentioned quite often". Along with the fact they are all held in Church halls and so on (well round here), I made the decision that for me, the link was too strong. There is a lot of emphasis in putting your faith elsewhere, God in other words. I have no problem in this, but it is not for me, and I don't personally want to listen to other people talking about their faith in God and so on. However I would not discourage anyone from going and if it works for you, crack on. Fortunately I have cut down to the recommended levels since my event, but I have a lot of sympathy with people who do need help because along with a lot of other things at the moment the opportunities are very restricted and unfortunately it is probably down to the individual, which as has been stated is very very hard to do unsupported. I came to the conclusion that I was not actually dependent, just liked it a bit too much along with cheese and cream teas etc!
Thanks for that info. I don't personally have any problem with the origins/links of AA but they should not cover it up like that. Like you I haven't needed extra help thank goodness (but never say never!) and I certainly share other eating addictions, one of the great pleasures in life.
"I've Googled solutions but don't want to go there" Could you expand on this it doesn't make sense to me? What does make sense is that drinking to the levels you are alluding to will only make your blood pressure problem worse, which will make it more likely that you will have further cardiovascular problems in future, It's up to you really. If they told you you had liver cirrhosis would you stop then? Why not stop now before you do, or at least make your heart problems worse. You don't say exactly what the OHS was but it is very likely this has not cured you of CVD, it is down to you to manage that post op and being a "functioning" drinker (alcoholic I presume you mean) is in no way doing this. Those of us who have had the misfortune to have CHD must make a choice as to whether we want to carry on with our previous lifestyles and cross our fingers or to make the changes necessary to give us the best chance. What do you mean by "not really fussed about solids"? A proper diet is also an important part of the plan going forward. Good luck.
I am a recovering alcoholic, I have been dry for 5 years but I still say recovering as that demon inside me still wants a drink. I've also recently had aortic valve and aorta replacement (Dec 2020).
You obviously recognise you have a problem so the next step is to get help. Make an appointment with your GP, be honest with them about how much your drinking and discuss the options available to you.
I stopped the day I admitted to my GP and my wife that I had a problem. I kept a daily diary of my feelings. I changed my routine slightly, cycling to work and back instead of visiting the pub, no more alcohol in the house. I found the diary useful in difficult times to see how I had coped previously. You know it's better for your long term health so give it your best shot. Good luck, it's not easy and I can vouch for that but the health benefits and financial benefits far outweigh having a few drinks.
Peterosgood's post is well worth your attention since he knows what he is talking about from personal experience. I drank too much for years had some wine every single day, on my own and in company, and couldn't ever envisage a time when I wouldn't want it, a regular item on my shopping list and something I looked forward to every evening. Probably wouldn't have bothered if it had stayed at one glass a day but it didn't, more like half a bottle, always excused myself because of stress. Had given up smoking which was really difficult and because I knew too much alcohol wasn't doing me any good (and was such a waste of money!) I wanted to stop. It boils down to the boring one day at a time philosophy - I started to refuse when offered a drink in company (we are very much a drinking culture these days) with an excuse about too many unnecessary calories, and after 5 years that has become easier. Haven't been well for past couple of years, not a solution I'd wish on anyone! so that makes it easier too now, and I never have it in the house. But it is hard work despite the obvious financial and health benefits, but well worth the effort.
I have a friend whose husband is now a 40 year recovering alcoholic; yes 40 years and still recovering. It just doesn't go away but he has never lapsed because he has a fantastic support group outside of the medical system. They are all in the same boat and help each other- immediately whenever one shouts help. Can you find a group of friends like that? Would it help you? Myself I wasn't an alcoholic but my social consumption was creeping up and after one really bad hangover I just said NO MORE and stopped. That was 40 years ago. Talk to your GP. Ask for help. You just might find a way to suit you or help with finding the reasons why you drink. As a heavy smoker I must say well done with that. I've tried and tried and tried and failed. You say "'I've Googled solutions but don't want to go there." Why? What solutions? Is it because you don't want to stop or are afraid to? Be honest with yourself as you have been here. Admitting a problem is the hardest part and you've done that. You obviously want to live and know what you need to do.
I do understand. Me too. Tried vaping after my heart attack and couldn't find anything I liked. Got down to one then went up again. Addictions get a real hold of you no matter what it is.Your brain keeps coming up with excuses. Wishing you luck.
If you’re a heavy drinker it’s quite dangerous to stop alcohol dead. You need a meds supported rehab programme.
I guess the questions are ‘why do you want to stop?’ ‘what is the pay off to you if you stop?’ ‘do you truly believe any of us has the solution?’ And ‘what were your expectations from posting here?’
Thanks JennyRx, and to everyone else who has messaged me. All really good stuff - serious.
Context - 4-6 cans of 5% 550ml 7 nights a week, 6.30pm-9.30pm, probably for at least the last 2 years, and also heavy drinking before that, actually all my life.
What do I want? - change; live longer; engage more with my teenagers. Understood and agree that I need a meds-supported rehab programme.
I posted maybe as the first step on this journey. I know only I have the answer but wanted to see what solutions people may have looked at.
Aside from the medical stuff you must feel like shit after that every night man? You know it's going to end badly, but you can't get out of that habit on your own, you have to fess up and get your nearest and dearest on board, because if we are all honest the way the world is right now help from other sources might not be easily available. When I looked into it, admittedly a few years back, you had to be at the bottom of the barrel before the help was there. At that level of boozing you probably do need to see your GP and get medical help, just do it.
Lateguitarist, thanks for your comments. That's the problem though. I don't feel like shit in the morning (I have felt better to be fair). I feel ok and just crack on with the day. Yes, I need to fess-up to my GP and get going on it. Cheers mate
I wonder if you're being too quick to dismiss your achievements, and you're putting too much emphasis on what you see as your shortcomings? Here's some evidence to consider
Let's start with one of the most important pieces of research for any British man with Cardiovascular Heart Disease. The British Regional Heart Study is a mammoth piece of work that tracked nearly 8,000 British men over many years. Here's one of the key findings, let's take two groups of 50 year olds. They're carefully matched in all respects, except one group is obese, smokes, and doesn't exercise. The other group has a healthy Body Mass Index, doesn't smoke (nor vapes), and is at least moderately active. What are the chances that individuals in these two groups will make it through the next fifteen years, to the age of 65, without being diagnosed with CHD, suffering a stroke, or being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes?
The answer is compelling. 89% of the healthy lifestyle group made it to age 65 without problems, where as only 42% of the poor life style group did.
By quitting vaping (and presumably quitting smoking sometime earlier), you're now firmly planted in the healthy life style group. There are no guarantees in this life, but you should take great comfort that you've made the most critical decisions to enjoy a long and healthy life.
However, here's where it gets really interesting. Why wasn't heavy drinking included in the split between these two groups? Because when the British Regional Heart Study looked at drinking the health implications were no where near as clear cut as with nicotine, obesity, and exercise.
I'm not medically qualified to advise you, but it seems to me that the science is much more ambivalent when it comes to alcohol. For example there's evidence that suggests what you drink is nearly as important as how much you drink. We evolved an ability to metabolise alcohol in order to allow us to eat over ripe fruit. But that implies relatively low strength alcohol, so moderate strength wine is one thing where as full strength spirits may be something else entirely. There's also evidence that alcohol is problematic in terms of heart health only to a minority of people who carry a specific variant of a particular gene. This group represents about 20% of the population, and they have an elevated risk of both heart attacks and dementia, the key triggers for this group are alcohol and high fat diets. But the logical corrolary is that 80% of the population are less at risk from these triggers. A final point that may be relevant, during the Cardio Rehab course I attended there was a lot of discussion about alcohol and heart disease. One nurse emphasised a particular point, she said a critical thing is having at least three alcohol free days each week to allow your body to recover. Perhaps that's a test you might find useful?
In any event, congratulations on your impressive recovery to date, and good luck with the future!
Hi Deserrol, sorry to hear you are struggling. The thing is until you call it what it actually is, nothing is going to change for you. You can dress it up by calling yourself a functional drinker but I think you know it doesn’t cut it. I don’t have a problem with alcohol but I have seen 2 people, who were very close to me, destroy themselves and would not accept or admit they had a problem. You cannot do this on your own, reach out and accept the help that is out there.
I read your post and it’s taken me a few days to think about writing this reply but I’m hoping it might help, and I understand you want things straight and that is what I will do. Firstly I’d say if you really do want to sort this out you have to seek help from your GP and admit you have a problem. Then you need to follow their advice and not think ‘I’m ok, I’m functioning, I’ve got and hold down a job, I only drink to relax” etc.
Believe me I’ve heard it all, and seen my brother go from a hardworking family man to one who lost his family, his home, tried but couldn’t hold down a job because the time he ‘needed’ a drink (to function) got earlier and earlier. By then of course the damage done was showing, he couldn’t eat but still drank, he started swelling badly and walking became difficult. I don’t like saying this but he began to smell of the toxins his body was holding (not through lack of hygiene) and eventually ended up in hospital because he had a fall and could get up (his body was so swollen). They tried draining but it didn’t work and very, very sadly he lost his life. He thought he was coming out, so did my Mum, I wasn’t sure as he was so poorly at this point.
Alcohol had consumed his life and by the end he had lost nearly everything that mattered to him; his teenage children, his wife, his job and his dignity (because he hated not having an income and living off our elderly parents). His siblings and parents still stood by him but nothing we said or did stopped his drinking, although near the end I think he realised and started to drink wine instead of spirits because I think he thought it would help. He didn’t want to die but the alcohol wouldn’t let go of him.
It was incredibly hard losing him, my Dad only lasted 15 months afterwards; I think he was just heartbroken and gave up.
My Mum was left with the loss of a son and husband.
Please if you really mean it when you say you want to change things go to your GP. There is nothing to be ashamed of, this is an illness and you need support but only you can do it.
I’m sorry if I have caused any upset with my story, that isn’t the aim, the message is: Don’t leave it until it’s to late, like my brother, he was 57 years old. Still had a lot of living to do 😢
Please try and gather your strength and make that first step. No one will be judging you, on the contrary, you will be showing strength and determination. I only wish I could have persuaded my brother, he was one of the kindest, hardworking men. Please let us all know how you get on. Sending my kindest regards.
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