Let's Lighten the Mood

[MichaelJH]

The first two weeks of 2021 have been harder than many of last year. So as "laughter is the best medicine" lets have your jokes.

Here's my starter:

I ordered Chinese from a local place (won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving!!!

I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.

I was driving so pulled over, I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the ginger beef!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down .And there it was ..A peeking duck!!

[080311]

😂😂😂 you’ve made me laugh yet again. Hope your doing ok, take good care.

[Meatless]

Michael I’m relieved that ended how it did as I’m currently sitting patiently waiting for my once a month chinese carry out delivery (no duck!)...😀

[Lezzers]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter

[Handel in reply to Lezzers]

😂😂😂 xx

[Lezzers]

What do you call bears with no ears? B–

[Handel in reply to Lezzers]

😂😂😂!!! Mental note to self "must buy Tena pads!!" xxx

[jeanjeannie50]

Why did the fly on the toilet pan look so glum? Because it was peed off!

[Handel in reply to jeanjeannie50]

😂😂😂 xx

[Sunnie2day]

Definitely laughing out loud here, thank-you and keep 'em coming, please 😅

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

Where does Vin go after eating a really hot curry?

Da loo.

[Handel in reply to MichaelJH]

Brilliant!! Made us chuckle! Thanks for brightening our day Michael xx

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

Did you hear about the party goers who snorted curry powder instead of cocaine?

One of them now has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma.

[Handel in reply to MichaelJH]

😂😂😂 Superb Michael. xxx

[Stuart2441 in reply to MichaelJH]

Funnily enough, in my younger years which wasn't too long ago, I dabbled and used to sniff coke. Had to stop cos of the pain, the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nostrils. 😂

[EmmyLaury12]

Loved the joke thank you it made me chuckle 😂

We need to laughter more so therapeutic x

[Handel]

😂😂😂 xxx

[Pinky1985]

😂😂😂

[marigoldb]

Great to have a laugh, Thank you. Sending the curry ones to my son, who just loves and makes curry regularly.

[Beith]

He decided to call his Scottish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit, he made the spirits disappear ...

[gladliz]

Groaan! but😀😀😀 as well!

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

So Canadians got it all wrong! I mean, they had the opportunity to have American technology, British culture and French cuisine, but went with American culture, British cuisine and French technology!

[Mallowme]

‘You are what you eat’ .... I don’t remember eating anxiety and back pain. 😀

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Mallowme]

I am still looking for the cannibal who did Leg of Michael! 👨‍🦽