... so let's lighten the mood with some seasonal jokes...
Christmas Is Coming... : ... so let's... - British Heart Fou...
Christmas Is Coming...
Just a quick reminder that if you're leaving an alcoholic beverage for Father Christmas this year, it must be accompanied by a 'substantial meal'
Could we leave a scotch egg!π
Absolutely not!! Who even eats them anyway! π π
π π
Christmas time......I love it, It's the only time I can slam my laptop shut quickly whenever my partner walks in the room and not get any disgusting looks πππ
When I was paying for my Christmas tree the cashier said are you putting it up yourself? I replied, don't be cheeky, I'm putting it up in the living room. π
I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.
Although what the silly sod wants with an ex box I'll never know.
Oh no! π Red mask, is now as black as his boots, must have been the soot, as he came down the chimneys.
Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas
1. I prefer breasts to legs
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5. I've never seen a better spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in? .
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning
and finally-
20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!
ππ xxx
My kids have been finding the presents I've hidden away so I asked a friend what I could do. She suggested putting them in the loft so that's what I did last night.
Unfortunately I'm exhausted. I didn't get a wink of sleep because of constant shrieks about spiders and dust and "Can we come down now?"