normal or not?

[a35austin]

Was having a slightly better day today regarding chest pains but twenty minutes ago started having black waves of despair washing through me as if the worlds ending, hope it goes soon, has anyone else suffered this?.

[Swageblock]

Hi, I had a cardiac arrest 5yrs ago and now have ICD to keep physical side together, however, the " black waves of despair are never far away. I spoke to my GP about this and her reaction was that it is a; quite normal and b; suffered many many patients. The only treatments she could offer was either anti-depressants or talking therapy, neither of which appeal to me. However, having been told that it is fairly normal I felt better about the situation. The knowledge hasn't made the bleakness disappear but knowing that it's not just me makes it bearable. Hope that is of some use.

[a35austin in reply to Swageblock]

Good evening Swageblock and thanks for your reply, it's just been a few months since my heart attack so maybe I`m expecting too much too early but I`m longing for my normal to return, and I`m the same as you talking therapy or tablets would not be my chosen path, so it looks as if I either ride the black dog of despair or try cannabis but I think I`m too old to be a hippy lol, it helps to have someone make contact, so a big thank you Swageblock.

[Swageblock in reply to a35austin]

I was in hospital for 3 months [coma, ICU, pneumonia, TIA etc] and couldn't wait to get out and back to doing things and work, only to find that physically I could only do about 10% and then be f***ed for a couple of days. Went back to work about 9months later [part time] and built up to 4 days a week over the next 6 months. The physical side has a lot of effect on the mental issue, sort of the busier you are the less time to think! But the bleakness/darkness [Churchills "Black dog" is a much quoted example!] can overwhelm one regardless of time and place. It's important to remember that, despite what you feel at that moment, you are not alone.

[a35austin in reply to Swageblock]

Hi again swageblock, I can relate to all you've said exactly how I feel at the moment, still on sick leave at the moment but that runs out after six months, I`m was hoping to be back in work mid-December but blown that now so hoping to be back in January fingers crossed, Churchill's black dog seems to affect most if not all of the people who`ve had heart attacks as well as a lot of other people, I`ve tried most legal ways of defeating mine including trying the asmr videos on youtube, but that seemed a bit weird to me, so I think I`ll have to keep trying positive thinking, it does help to talk to other people who are going through the same thing, you seem to have been through the mill with your health so I hope your coming through the other side and that 2001 will be a better year for you, al the best and thanks for your reply.

[Swageblock in reply to a35austin]

Take care and feel free to contact me for a chat any time!

[scotsrish]

I am at the 9 month mark of HA and 2 stents. Depression started quickly after coming home but some of that was ticagrelor. I also found that statins (crestor) made me feel very suicidal. I can't handle the side effects of statins even every second day and lower dose. From the heart attack i get an overwhelming feeling that comes nearly everyday that i call heart sick. It is a physical and mental dark sad feeling that is hard to describe...maybe it's from nearly dieing i don't know but now when it comes on i walk or get busy.