After the event!

[mrtumnus]

I am anxious about the first anniversary of my "cardiac event" in early January. I have made a good recovery after having a number of stents inserted. However I can't shake off this feeling of dread as the date approaches.How do other members cope? Any advice appreciated.

[Fortepiano]

I found this interesting as I feel the opposite about these sorts of anniversaries. I do have very vivid memories of the time and I look back with great gratitude to the excellent care I had at the hospital. I think how lucky I am and how the year has been a terrific bonus. I actually can't remember the particular date which is now some years ago - I'm bad at birthdays too.

I am certainly not criticising your very different reaction but I am concerned about your feelings of dread which must be horribly stressful for you. It may be that when the first anniversary is over these will ease, but I wonder whether counselling or CBT might be helpful for you and enable you to approach it from a different angle. You don't want to feel like this for the next month.

Have you been able to talk about your feelings with your family? The BHF has some useful info on the psychological impact of heart disease, and a chat with one of the BHF nurses might be useful too.

All the best and I do hope you feel better soon.

[NorthantsSteve]

I had the opposite feeling. Making a year is a great achievement and also meant in my case dropping a couple of the meds. If it’s really getting to you the doc can refer you for counselling therapies. Sorry it’s getting you down. Take care.

[daveofpensby]

Hi yes know exactly how you feel

I’ve had two HA 24 years apart and I still get a bit anxious come the anniversary but it over time it does reduce . It’s illogical really why should the same thing happen again on the same date. But I guess that’s the way we are

Chin up you’ll be fine take it from somebody who knows

[NorthantsSteve in reply to daveofpensby]

Some people on my cardio rehab course were triggered by going back to the same place they had their incident (as did their families and loved ones if they witnessed it). I guess the date is a similar reminder.

[mrtumnus in reply to daveofpensby]

Thank you so much for your reply and wise words, you seem to be doing so well.

Many thanks for the encouragement, its much appreciated.

[shopman]

I "celebrate" mine every year but there again would find it hard to forget. Happened at 5-30am on 25 December 1997 - yes it was Xmas Day and will be 22 years this year. Family still ask if I will be staying every year. The next one happened on 31 December 1997 while in hospital recovering from the first one.

[SpiritoftheFloyd]

My 1st anniversary will be on Saturday 28th December 2019, at 1.30 am which was the time I realised that something was badly wrong with me and I rang 999. After stumbling downstairs, opening the front front door and slumping in the porch, there's not much more I remember after the ambulance turned up, until I was brought out an induced coma to be told I'd had a heart attack and had gone into cardiac arrest.So thankfully I won't be able to re-live every detail.

I am, as I imagine most people are, very conscious of the anniversary approaching but I'm not anxious about it.

I'm grateful for the excellent care from all the NHS staff who did such an amazing job in ensuring that I'm still here.

I consider myself exceptionally lucky to survive a cardiac arrest when so many others sadly don't

And finally I'm amazed at how well I feel at this point. Back on 29th December last year I just could not consider or visualise getting from where I was to where I am now.

So for me it will be a celebration.

I'm sorry that the approach of this event is troubling you, perhaps you should talk to your GP about how you feel. I hope you feel better soon

[Clbush80]

Hi,I am also approaching my date of cardiac arrest (16th dec)I am also feeling a little nervous I have also been having nightmares and getting a little upset ,it helps me to be round friends and distract my self ,hope this helps x

[mrtumnus in reply to Clbush80]

Thank you so much for your reply, your anniversary is coming up very soon. I completely understand how you feel and I pray that you get through the day. Thank you again for your words of support, they are much appreciated.

[Zooy]

I have my first anniversary coming up (the very early hours of Christmas Day) and I too am a bit anxious but at the same time absolutely can’t wait for New Year’s Day and to turn the back on this difficult year. I do feel very great full for all of the excellent treatment and support I have had. But I am struggling to move away from a complete preoccupation with my heart and my health (I’m having cbt to help). I think for me the anniversary feels worse at it was such a memorable time of year being Christmas. I remember finding the whole build up last year so tiring and I feeling so miserable. I had no idea that was all because I had pneumonia developing and had a failing mitral valve. I’m hoping that doing something different this year (going to away over Christmas) will help lesson those memories, replace them with new happy ones and help me relax. It is hard and I think from reading everyone’s replies we should all try and focus on our second chances and be grateful for every new day which truly is a gift. Merry Christmas to all my fellow heart warriors. We are all stronger than we know.

[Hidden]

My two year 'anniversary' is next week and if I am honest, I have mixed emotions, one is that I am extremely grateful for the medical skill and care I had in hospital and also the love of my family. However the other part of me dreads it happening again, illogical as a poster said, but we humans are nothing if not strange. Secondly the event happened on a trip to Cornwall to do a Christmas present run to family, I wont go down there now before Christmas just in case. Again one of my dreads is that I would be stranded in hospital as before over the Christmas period. Mostly these thoughts don't affect me through the year and I get on with life, but when it gets to 'anniversary time' logic seems to disappear.

Good luck and I'm sure it will pass smoothly

[metalclay1]

My own 1st anniversary of my heart procedure passed in early October and didn’t affect me one way or the other now that I think back. I do, however have my cardiac review at the end of this month (a little late, I’m aware). I DO feel quite anxious about this. I’ve been feeling a fair amount of discomfort, especially at night, for which I feel a need to use my GTN spray more frequently than I did. I’m worried in case I need more treatment and am getting quite fearful of the review. Like many people here are saying, it’s probably a good idea to get some help even if it’s just learning relaxation techniques in order to manage your anxiety. I wish you all the best and hope you manage ok. X

[CPL593H]

It’s understandable but take some calming breaths and try to relax. My cardiac event happened whilst getting into bed. I felt nervous getting into bed for a few days, but since getting into bed is unavoidable I got over my nerves. Anniversaries are a similarish mental trial.

[mrtumnus in reply to CPL593H]

Thank you for your reply, very true words about anniversaries.

[Driver11]

Hi my CA was Sept 18 and I was ok and very positive until the approach of my first anniversary. I wasn't worried but just felt a little strange. I didn't think I was going to die but I'm glad I'm in my second year and getting on with life. Good luck and happy Christmas

[mrtumnus in reply to Driver11]

Thank you for your reply and kind words.

[Calm2]

Hi, I am exactly the same as you! Mine was November 29th and I was as anxious as you could be. Everything was negative in my thoughts, certainly never thought about celebrating. We are all different but I’m with you or was , as I just had my 1st year but I got through the day but relived every bloody second of it. It happened in my home so at 7:30 pm I had to take myself off for a walk to stop the anxiety and it worked. Walking is the only thing that really does help me and once that day has been and gone you may see that you have passed a massive hurdle in your mind and feel a bit better🌞

[mrtumnus in reply to Calm2]

Thank you sooo much for your reply to me, it really has helped. I had pretty much given up in despair as virtually every other reply was the polar opposite to how I am feeling. as you say, everyone is different, but I will certainly not be celebrating the worst experience of my time on this planet! I know in my rational mind that it is only a date, and also that I just need to get past that date. The reasons for my event are genetic, my dear father died at aged 37, he too had been recovering well but then had another event a year later and this is very much at the forefront of my mind.

I totally agree also about walking, I find that it really helps me too. Many thanks again for taking the time and trouble to reply to me, it is much appreciated. xx

[Calm2 in reply to mrtumnus]

Anytime you feel anxious or nervous I’m here feeling the same! 🥴

[Kazzie68]

I totally understand how you’re feeling, I was feeling apprehensive as my first anniversary approached - swaying from a sense of celebration at still being here to dreading the reliving of the day. Ultimately, my focus was abruptly shifted when I received a melanoma diagnosis almost a year to the day after my HA! I found talking about it really helpful, it’s not old news, it’s still massively affecting your life and people that care about you are not tired of hearing about it. Share how you feel, talk about your feelings, the day will pass and so to will the feelings you have surrounding the anniversary. Take care and stay well x

[mrtumnus in reply to Kazzie68]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me and your kind words of encouragement. I am very sorry to hear about your melanoma diagnosis, that must have been so difficult for you and at the anniversary time as well. I hope you are recovering well and staying strong. Good luck.

[Qualipop]

My anniversary was in August. I was simply delighted to still be here and to have finally got an end to the horrible side effects of tablets.