I'm still around!

[Love100cats]

Just want you to know that I needed a break whilst coming to terms with my husband's vascular dementia. It had to take priority over his heart and mind whilst I fought for support. It got to a crisis last Friday and N.H.S. Rapid Response came within hours and set up a daily support programme. I am organizing a personal assistant for my husband after the 10 days of care I get free. So I've had some scary moments with my heart. The nights are the worst but the support makes all the difference. I just wish we didn't have to fight for it!

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

Very sorry to hear your news. The only female in my father's line escaped a heart attack but suffered vascular dementia. It is a distressing illness and I hope you get all the support you need.

[ling]

Sorry to hear that.

A personal assistant - finally.

Is your heart stabilising?

Ok to share what happened?

[Love100cats in reply to ling]

Hi Ling! My husband's condition kept worsening. Last Thursday he had a night fall. Took me an hour to get him up. His language skills are affected so doesn't understand instruction or direction. Walking very poor, eyes affected, totally disoriented. Phoned surgery expecting to be told g.p. too busy but different receptionist!!!! So Dr did home visit. Shocked! Asked how long he has been like this. I told her I'd phoned a number of times. All stops pulled out! For us both! Appointment arranged for Alzheimer's, Care Direct, N.H.S. Rapid Response, Dementia Assessment team, Cardiac Team re deactivation of defib, Chemist re just in case box, Assessment Team for Carers, and Personal Assistant Team. All in less than a week! So my heart was struggling and I was getting a bit breathless and felt some quivering. But I'm managing to deal with the anxiety realizing that I can do nothing to prolong his life just make him as comfortable as I can. I have my daughter in law 4 mornings a week and she does everything so I have some respite. Nights are an issue as he still wanders for hours but I will deal with that soon. Thank you for your interest.

[Lezzers in reply to Love100cats]

Shocking though it is that you've had to deal with this for so long without help, I am so pleased that you're finally getting the support you need and deserve. Your devotion to your husband and his needs humbles me, please now take time to think of yourself.

[ling in reply to Love100cats]

Not to alarm you unnecessarily, but in this instance, better to be prepared as it is labour intensive and you don't want to be caught out.

Most do not prepare for it as they are not expecting it to happen.

As you are putting all the necessary assistance into place, prepare also for when your husband loses his ability to walk and becomes bed ridden. This is an outcome of the dementia.

So get ready for when he is no longer mobile and cleaning, toileting, etc, all have to be done for him in bed. This is intensive and will require skilled help, and not something you should be attempting at your age with your heart issues. You will require someone there daily including the nights.

[Love100cats in reply to ling]

Thank you yes I had thought of that. A Hospital technician and nurse came and deactivated his defib yesterday which is such a relief but if his pacemaker battery was at 6% in March, how much will be left now? They think his heart will fail first so I have to watch out for any swelling and immediately get help. Thank you again for your practical support.

[ling in reply to Love100cats]

These are issues we have grappled with and seen happen over the years.

[ling]

Yes something needs to be done before he falls again.

The previous surgery receptionist should be shot. How could she stonewall you in this manner?? Deal with that psycho in time. She needs to understand the gravity of what she has done

[Janma123]

I’m pleased you have finally got the support you both need, it should make a huge difference to you.

Take some time for yourself too.

Best wishes.

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

Hi

Love100cats

I like Lezzers am totally blown away by your devotion to your husband.

I hope you now have the support in place for both of you. It can be tough to be a patient and carer at the same time.

As others have already said take sometime for yourself too.

[Love100cats in reply to Milkfairy]

Have bought a foot spa and some lovely hand cream. My treats! With the help I'm getting my nausea has gone. I feel supported during the day but he had another fall 4 a.m. so I may now need some night help. Thank you for your encouragement.