I am getting alarmed at feeling vulnerable but difficulties I getting help. I have been discharged from heart failure clinics less than a year after being diagnosed with l.v.h.f. My husband is also not getting the care we expected though he has no complaints of the care of the last 30 years. But I think he has dementia. He is homebound. But g.p. said too busy with end of life patients to do house visit. No offer of advice or support on the phone. H.f. nurses super but they are inundated with patients and have to prioritize. I keep thinking of private health care but we are not in a city and I don't see any adverts and other than accessibility would there be any benefit. I feel that 80 is the risky age to be. You've had all bits and bobs done and the ultimate in meds so you just wait till you are 90+ to get some g.p. attention because you must be end of life! Am I making sense to anyone?????
Resorting to private g.p.: I am getting... - British Heart Fou...
Resorting to private g.p.
Making complete sense. Can you not change your GP? What about raising your concerns with the practice manager? However, do feel reassured that you wouldn't have been discharged from the HF clinic if they were not happy that your condition is stable x
Thankyou. I agree that my health is stable but the anxiety over my husband's is giving some bad days. I need to find some help and support for him BUT he doesn't think he needs it because I cope so well!!!! I need to think things through. I've got my first counselling session in just over a week and I think that will help. E.g. lost my brother, step father and mother in a period of 12 months and couldn't cry so will take huge box of tissues, in case. I've had to cancel rehab next Friday as I can't leave him alone at the moment and he doesn't adapt to new situations. Not good I know!
I'm sorry to hear of your losses, that's a lot to have to deal with. It is unfortunate that, when you're seen to cope, it's thought that you are coping. I remember after 15 years of dealing with my husbands heart condition his nurse asked how I was coping & I cried. My husband was gobsmacked, told me afterwards that he'd never seen me get upset like that, my answer was no one had ever asked about me before!! Is there anyone who could sit with your husband for a while, perhaps respite care could be arranged to give you a break, maybe the counsellor could help with that x
Boy! You are hitting the spot! I went through this with my mother's heart failure. I was her ' reliable, dependable ' daughter. Here I am with another patient who feels I'm his very reliable dependable wife! And no I'm not shedding tears, yet! Thank you very much. I feel my journey is going to take some detours!
I really hope you get the help you are so obviously in need of. Definately do those detours & make yourself heard xx
You supportive people are magnificent. My wife, like you guys, is a superstar.
YES!!!
Absolutely! I just need to move from being the woman who has cared for a heart failure husband for 30 years to being one in need. I think rather than expect a g.p. to come to see my husband I need to make an appointment to see my g.p. and just say help!!!!!!
Thanks. I'd never thought of another possible avenue as I've not needed it( or thought I didn't) till now.
I worked for some time for Northamptonshire Carers, charity which provides not only advice and emotional support to unpaid carers like you, but also things like free emergency respite services and transport to GP, support groups etc.
Carers Trust UK might be a great place to find out a bit more about the support available from similar organisation in your area
Sounds as if your gp and heart failure nurse have done what they can and from then on it is up to you to make the most of your life . There is nothing a private practitioner can do except take your money .
And" end of life " is nothing to do with age it is to do with your condition . I am seventy three and my gp told me three or four months ago that I had less than six months to live and could drop dead at any time . I am officially classed as end of life but I don't get any extra treatment because there is nothing that can be done . Make the most of what you have
Hi 17Nevil
A GP can arrange extra support and care for those in the last phase of their lives by placing someone on the Palliative care pathway.
Many Hospices have community outreach and Marie Curie have some useful information.
Well I lost my husband to colon cancer last year and all I can say is if you have a terminal diagnosis in my experience gp will not come out they just say well you know he is terminal all I can advise is you up the pain meds. I wished we had had a go like yours because left completely alone you are frightened in case you are doing the wrong thing. He had a massive bleed I rang an ambulance to be called back an hour later to say they were very busy and would get to us when they could just because they knew he was terminal. NHS health care is crap now not there fault there are just too many of us. My hubby was 64 and just retiring 😕
How sad it is! Yesterday I told my husband that up to the age of 80 you can expect updates in your treatment. If you are over 90 you hit the end of life road. But what happens to the 10 years in-between? Now reading your post I realize you could be a lot younger. It's not right!
No it’s not right, worked from age 15 and I can’t remember him having time off for anything. I always say now if you can afford private go for it as the nhs is overstretched and this is how mistakes happen. I wished we could have afforded it. Funny thing was all the time I was working it was part of the package bupa care for me and hubby and you guessed it we never needed it then.
No it is not right everyone and their families need good support during the last phase of life.
Health professionals should perhaps say ' how can we help you? ' rather than giving up on people.
End of care life needs more resources and healthcare professionals the appropriate training.
Hi Love100cats. You've had loads of really helpful advice on this forum. I can't add anything more other than giving you all our best wishes and hugs. We're thinking of you both xxxx
Yes it makes total sense to me and one of the main reasons we in the US don’t want government controlled healthcare.
Many of the posts I read break my heart. Contrary to what may be reported on healthcare in the US, most everyone has “private” access to doctors of their choosing. Those that work in private and even government jobs have healthcare provided by their employers and go to private doctors of their choice. For those that don’t have or can’t afford health care the government provides Medicaid. Seniors have Medicare that they have contributed to over their years of employment. Yes, there are some who complain about our healthcare system but the overwhelming majority don’t want to the government making the decision on our health care. One trip to the motor vehicle department and we know why we prefer that our medical system not be run by Uncle Sam.
You would be amazed by how many Europeans come to the USA for their medical and dental care!
Yours from Across the Pond
I know! My brother lives in S.A. and has private in insurance and though he has to pay part of some procedures he has choices and both he and his family can go to the States. I feel stuck in a system that has got out of control with people doing the best they can but very demoralized. I went to the American base here once with a friend. I was impressed by the clinic. You could have eaten off the floor!
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