Lonely

[Lynn1966]

Hi all, does anyone else feel very lonely? I have my partner,children,grandchildren ,brothers and sisters, yet I feel all alone 😢When this first happened I heard and seen everyone.now wks have gone by I hear practically nothing. Even my friends were messaging in the beginning now nothing. I feel I need to find a true friend. One that wants to meet up ,go cinema etc but if I'm honest I haven't got a friend like this 😢X

[ubet123]

Hi Lynn thanks for your advice about counselling I'm going to give it a go , in reply to this post I wonder if friends and family not mentioning our "heart attacks " is part of getting back to normality, would we just not move on if people continued to go on about it. As for having a friend to do things with there are probably many people who would jump at the chance of a new friendship, maybe you should make the first move , just make sure they haven't heart problems or you won't speak about anything else lol x

[Lynn1966 in reply to ubet123]

Hi ubet123, Sorry I meant whenever I do speak to them, they ask if I’m ok. Which I always reply I’m getting there slowly but surely. I just feel when your unwell everyone is there, but once you’re doing ok( ish) they disappear. I know people are busy and I understand that totally. Lol I definitely need to find a friend 😂😂 please give it a go my lovely xx

[ubet123 in reply to Lynn1966]

Ok lynn I'll be your friend as long as you don't want any sensible advice, emotional support,a shoulder to cry on , physical help, as I'm lacking in all these qualities, apart from that I'm there for you x

[Lynn1966 in reply to ubet123]

Love it, this made me smile. This is deal😂😃😂😃 . Xx

[ubet123 in reply to Lynn1966]

Anytime 😎X

[Shoshov]

Anytime lynn as long as I don’t need to right all the time😂

[Lynn1966 in reply to Shoshov]

😂🤣😂🤣😂xx

[Heartlady123]

Hi Lynn... I so know what you mean ... my way of meeting people to go out with and have a laugh was through an online group called Meet up. These are world wide and meet ups ate created as a way of people in your local area getting together and meeting up for social events. There are a lot of walking groups ( which were not ideal for me) but there are meet ups for coffee.. book club meet ups.... meal out or theatre and cinema meet ups. It's easy to join and you just go along as and when it works for you. I didn't find one that did the things I wanted to do in my area... so I created my own. I set it up at this time last year... and have been to over 40 different events this year ( that's while having 2 further heart ops!)

The meet up group organising has been a great hobby for me... and I have met lovely people... and now have 40 new friends!!! Mist if my events have been close to where I live... some are cinema nights... coffee and cake afternoon... book club... as well as plays at the local theatre and monthly meals in a nice restaurant. So nothing too energetic but allowing me to get out and about and have a laugh... and not feel lonely. And I very rarely talk about my heart .. it's great to hear others stories and just talking and laughing about life 😂. So within a year I have gone from being lonely to having the best social life than I have had in years!! Hope this helps xx

[Lynn1966 in reply to Heartlady123]

Thanks heartylady123 I really appreciate your post and I’m definitely going to look into this. I’m so glad it helped you and your recovery. Thanks again xx

[Hidden]

Lynn, I think most of us have experienced this... I know i have... everyone rushing about, calling you, telling you how much they love you and then bang! As soon as you start to show signs of recovery, life returns to normal. My 'bestie' confessed to me, that sometimes she completely forgets that I have had a Heart Attack and has to check herself sometimes. It is nothing personal, but I think they forget because on the outside you look fine. We are also our own worst enemies, as we don't always tell the truth when asked how we are ... stiff upper lip and all that!!... Sorry to read that you feel you have not got a true friend, but I think your friends and family would be equally upset to read this too.. you need to tell them. Sadly with some people, if they have asked you in the past to go out and been refused they can be reluctant to ask again. Is there no one in your Rehab group that you have connected with? If so, bite the bullet and ask them out for a coffee? Good luck... and we are all here xx

[Lynn1966 in reply to Hidden]

Penfold_5 I totally agree with you. Yes they would be hurt and upset. Also I agree with looking good on the outside so they think all is well. To honest I've looked at my self and I'm going to sought this out. Thanks for your comment. X

[Hidden in reply to Lynn1966]

Good for you Lyn, sounds very positive . Remember though look after you and do what makes you happy xx

[Qualipop]

I'm afraid it often happens when you have a long term condition. I've had chronic pain for 30 years and never know how I will be from day to day. People get fed up of inviting you and finding you then can't go and friends and even family drift away. If you are of a suitable age, try ringing Silverline. They can arrange someone local to "befriend " you- even if it's just a phone call to offload worries, it can help to tale to someone outside family. After my heart attack I was inundated with get well cards from people I know all over the country. Since then? Not a word, or message or even a phone call. Even husband has now stopped helping out with washing, washing up or cooking and hoovering- and talking to me or asking how I am. It does feel as if no one cares and that's probably true. They are involved with their own lives and yours doesn't really matter long term.

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Qualipop]

Having been diagnosed Type I Diabetic as a child o can relate to this. Initial diagnosis sparks some interest but this soon goes. Teachers who should have known better labelled me as delicate and probably as a PITA! This seemed to lead to a degree of bullying and to this day I have never forgiven the main instigator. This also made me less of a team player as I was good of individual sorts like cross-country, middle distance running, long jump, etc. To get away from the environment I left school at 16, and got a job and a motorbike. In reality I feel I have less but better friends than many. There were flurries of interest when I was diagnosed with CVD and immediately post op but it seems to quickly wane. I have a long chat with my best friend every 5 - 7 days and as needed. Another friend took me out for coffee every week or so well away from the local area. Often when people find out I have diabetes there is a lot of interest but for many my carb counting, and the related timing of insulin and meals seems to then bore them! Overall I have become quite thick skinned to all this. To me it is the best way.

[Twobells]

Someone who fels like I do. I am in similar boat, feel very isolated eventhough I have a family. Sometimes be nice just to meet people for real. Chatting on here helps, but getting out for a chat and a coffee would be great

[Lynn1966 in reply to Twobells]

I agreed Twobells, just a coffee and a catch up would be great. This is my aim as of now x

[Heartofsoul]

Hi lynn1966

I feel lucky to have a couple of extremely good friends that always text(1 daily) and meet up with but totally get a lot of people saying " you look so well and my reply is "on the outside but it's inside that's problematic "....I havnt had a heart attack but had to have an ICD fitted.still having arrhythmias daily 3 months on and feeling down a lot of the time.where abouts are you? I'm happy to meet up if you're close ish? I'm in Middlesex area,london

[Lynn1966 in reply to Heartofsoul]

Hi heartedsoul, at first when people said I looked great and they couldn’t believe I had a heart attack , I was pleased. Then after a while I started to feel I was a fake. I live inPlymouth a bit far to go cinema 😂 I have decided I’m going to get back to having my life and do the best I can x

[Heartofsoul in reply to Lynn1966]

Well I wish you well and I'm sure you'll start doing things and meeting new people....best of luck 😊

[Benzman]

Have a look at The Oddfellows, oddfellows.co.uk. This is a group specifically for people who want to meet up socially. In the area where I live there are regular coffee mornings, lunches, afternoon teas etc.

Have you also checked on heart support groups in your area

bhf.org.uk/informationsuppo...

Good luck with finding friends.

[Lynn1966 in reply to Benzman]

Thanks Ben man I’ll take a look. Much appreciated x

[Qualipop in reply to Benzman]

For some reason that link doesn't work but this one does. oddfellows.co.uk/

[Menhennet]

Hi Lynn I feel the same what area are you ? X

[Lynn1966 in reply to Menhennet]

I’m in Plymouth menhennet.

[Pandorella]

Hi Lynn, I feel like you do! I also have family but they live far away, also I do not drive. I just wish there was someone nearby just to go for a Walk with on sunny days and sometime a trip to cinema or theatre. I am in the Bournemouth area. I wonder how far you are from me!

[Lynn1966 in reply to Pandorella]

Hi pandorella, thanks for your message, I live in Plymouth.. things have improved a lot since I wrote this post.. I now enjoy my own company especially when I’m out walking. I am now back to work again now so this is good. I wish you all the best. Please feel free to message me anytime. Xx

[Prada47]

Hi Pandorella,

You could try Poole Heart Support Group they do exercise classes around the area or Bournemouth Heart Club located in the BRH grounds. Both offer support should you need it. Shaftesbury Road, Poole BH15 2NT · 01202 683363