Irrelevant ?

[Brooke_L]

Hey everyone. This may be irrelevant to anyone else’s concerns so please be nice lol.

Since middle school I’ve tried to fit in. There was this one girl in particular, who is just gorgeous and confident and everyone liked her. All the girls wanted to be her friend and the guys wanted to date her. We actually became best friends in high school but still I couldn’t shake the insecurity I felt when I was next to her. We would go to parties and I felt so disgusting and ugly and just irrelevant. This sounds crazy as I’m typing this, honestly. But basically, I’ve always wanted to be her. I wanted everything she had, everything she was, how she looked, the guys would just chase her. I wanted people to look at me that way. I just never felt like I would ever be noticed next to her.

Well eventually I deleted my social media, because I was tired of comparing myself and feeling insecure and jealous of not only her but our other friends and I wasn’t sure why I felt so bad about myself. Anyways, I’m now 27 years old, still struggling to figure who I am and what I want out of life. Anxiety and depression consume me. “Insecure” is a word that can’t even describe how unhappy I am with myself.

The reason for this post is to say that after all of these years, I created social media accounts again and I added my old friend. Every insecurity flew right back into my head and I felt like I was 16 again. Looking at her I was like wtf why I can’t I have her life? Why can’t I be pretty like that or have a good body a good job.. what is wrong with me?

Does anyone have any advice how I can overcome this obsession with being like everyone else and especially that girl? I want to love myself. I want to improve my image and make something of myself but idk how to do it with feeling like this. I would never treat someone the way I treat myself. 😭 I want to stop dreading life, and start living it. Luckily my daughter is only 1 and 1/2 so she doesn’t notice yet but one day she will notice how weak and insecure I am and think it’s normal to see her mother that way. Someone please help

[EvaMagg]

Hey Brooke,

I also have a friend who is 10/10. Our pictures together always make me look huge and I am this ugly friend... but I know that I have other qualities!

You have to find something that you will feel proud of. Just like who you r inside. And think of your body as a packaging for what’s inside also our body can change.

Watch my videos on YouTube. They will make you laugh

So cool u r a mum. Your daughter can be your motivation now.

[Brooke_L in reply to EvaMagg]

Thank you for the advice! I wish I knew how to look inside and see my authentic self but I have absolutely NO idea who I am 😞

And yeah I’ll check it out, what’s your name on YouTube ?

[EvaMagg in reply to Brooke_L]

youtube.com/channel/UCkJ6AX...

I went on a scale today and it’s almost 84kg. My feet are hurting me as I am just too fat. But I don’t hate myself. I just know I need to do something to get slimmer.

I want to test Adele’s diet. I will make videos about it.

What is your goal then? Or you are not sure?

[Brooke_L in reply to EvaMagg]

Yeah you should make videos about it because I want to lose weight like she has. This is the heaviest I’ve been in my life, I put on over 70 pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter and have yet to lose the weight. My body aches everyday and I can’t find the energy to do anything. I could sleep all day if I was able to.

I just want to love myself and be happy and confident with who I am. But my lack of self-esteem has taken a toll on every aspect of my life. I know what I need to do, it’s finding that push to get me there.

[HealthBuddyMelissa]

I think it is urgently important for you know that what people show on the outside may have nothing to do with how they are on the inside, or how they really feel about themselves. So much of people is fake, and made up to look good to others. You are you, not them. You are beautiful and wonderful. You need to tell yourself that every single day, and mean it. If social media is too much for you, then stay off of it. Mindfulness courses can help you immensely. But, you can not learn to love yourself until you accept yourself.

[Brooke_L in reply to HealthBuddyMelissa]

Thank you for reaching out, it means a lot. Yeah I have tried the mantras and it doesn’t work because I just don’t believe myself. And how do I accept myself? I just don’t know how . I don’t get it will I ever be normal? Idk.

[HealthBuddyMelissa in reply to Brooke_L]

I would recommend you start a journal, and every day write down one thing that you liked about yourself that day, or something you did. Don't think about negative things, we all have flaws even if we hid them well. This will be very hard for you at first. Start small and pick something like I really like my hair today. If you find you really can not find something you like, then write in your journal simple ways to help improve the things you don't like. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change things you don't like. It is all in the approach and to not be abusive towards yourself. I hate my hips, but since I am cheap, and really loathe squats, I guess I have learned to at least accept them.

[Brooke_L in reply to HealthBuddyMelissa]

Yeah you’re right. Maybe I will start a journal, couldn’t hurt right ? Thank you ! I want to love myself, I want to stop looking at myself in the mirror and actually believe that I am the grossest things that has ever lived. I mean I look at those women out there who are just so body positive and I’m here to afraid to even go to the store and worry if people are looking at me.

Yes I have some deep, self-esteem issues that I need to work on and I’ve known it for a while. I will definitely keep your advice in mind and hopefully follow it, and I sincerely appreciate it very much!!

[Rdiz777]

Start taking action vice obsessing over the problem.

[Vixxster]

What a flash from the past. Boy oh boy I'm 62 now but the pain never goes away. Sure other losses such as children, decieptful families members and daily interactions as well as health issues will continue to slap you in the face. But Istill remember my perfect buddy like last week. All the males aproached me to try and hook up with her. She even told me all her girlfriends had to be ugly so they could handle the rejection.

My suggestion is to be the best human you can be. Improve you schooling so that you surpass all the ignorant fools that pester you like mosquitos. Excelling in subjects YOU enjoy does help you to be strongher, and leave all those dummies in the dust!!!

[Brooke_L in reply to Vixxster]

Thank you so much for that I appreciate it!!