Ostracism, bullying and abuse

Do you experience ostracism, bullying or abuse?

[Jasperspace]

Please be more understanding I'm 34 what's ostacism mean ? 🤔

[Hidden in reply to Jasperspace]

Ostracism means when people deliberately exclude you. So that could be people excluding you in school, at work, in family, anything that one can be excluded from. This ostracism can have devastating effects on a person’s health. It makes one feel so alone, not wanted, like nobody cares. And the fact is that the people who ostracise and abuse the worst are often one’s own family. They for example, ignore you, make nasty untrue comments, deliberately bring you down, exclude you, gang up against you, stop you from putting your seatbelt on then laughing at you- all kinds of things such as this which they do so that they all feel powerful and they don’t care that the person who needs support is cast out. Then outside the family one can’t make friends and people deliberately pretend to make friends and then ditch you and abuse you and exclude you. Ostracism often goes with abuse

[becominghuman]

Yes. I’ve experienced bullying, abuse and ostracisation throughout my schooling and at my workplace, as well as my home and neighbourhood.

Abuse and bullying exist because there aren’t enough measures in place to protect us from people who might cause us harm. We’re not to blame for that. It’s the authorities who haven’t put proper laws in place.

[Hidden in reply to becominghuman]

I have too. Throughout my schooling too. Was nearly killed by a boy at school. And at workplace people laughing at me and excluding me since I didn’t know how to talk with them. So much abuse and violence. Hate crime violence

[Hidden in reply to becominghuman]

I have actually been tortured

[wallflower_fairy]

I'm sorry for what you've been through.

Yes some of this has happened to me in the past. Bullying in school and then later in life mainly just being left out. I have been ghosted a lot, where people end the friendship or relationship by just stopping contact. That's never pleasant.

There is a blog I read by an Autistic author and advocate who wrote about bullying. The blog is called Unstrange Mind and the author of it is Maxfield Sparrow. In this particular post they start off by talking about Avoidant Personality Disorder but the post is mainly about bullying. I'll leave it here in case you want to read it.

unstrangemind.com/how-autis...

This post, and other posts by this author helped me to feel less alone.

I know it's hard to believe when it's being done by a lot of people but please remember it doesn't determine your value. The behaviour says more about them then it does about you, or us. I think many neurotypical people have little or no comprehension of what it's like to live in this world Autistic. They talk about us possibly lacking empathy but empathy works both ways. Equally, neurotypical people ought to try and understand and empathise with us as much as we should with them.

We're different and unfortunately people often fear this because it's what they don't know, so take it out on us.

I hope that things are getting better and will continue to improve for all of us, but sadly there is still so much ableism and prejudice out there.

Xx

[Hidden in reply to wallflower_fairy]

I’ve actually been strangled by three different people. Twice it was a near death experience. And the torture I’ve been subjected to almost killed me. A lot of people have stopped contact with me too. Yet another relationship seems to be going that way (there have been times when I thought I might have had friends but it always turns out that they were either using me for their own personal gain or just faking it to upset me. She has pretended to like me and then gradually she just minimised the contact until now it’s maybe once a year text and last time she sent me a text I replied and asked her a question and tried my best to get her to reply but she’s been ignoring me for weeks. No it’s not pleasant is it. It’s painful. Yes it is difficult to believe it’s actually happening since as you say so many people abuse and bully me. Makes me wonder if there’s anyone decent left to try to be friends with. I don’t bother any more. I’ve experienced too much abuse, violence and heartache. Yes it’s not my behaviour it’s theirs and I know I’ve not been bad like them. I think they do lack empathy. If so there seem to be an awful lot of people who lack empathy or do I just get the bad luck with the people who lack empathy? The thing is, to counter this argument I have seen the same people who abuse me and bully me be perfectly nice to other people. Personally I think they are just bullies and abusers. Most people have a choice how they behave. Do you think you have empathy since some people say that people with autism don’t have empathy or it doesn’t come naturally to them? I personally think that I have a lot of empathy. In fact I’m always kind to other people. Yes the children noticed I was different at school and they told me so and laughed at me then started ostracizing me. I think that society’s behavior towards people who have autism may have improved somewhat but I can’t help thinking that the people who are supposed to be in the best position to protect us and support us are not really doing that and in some cases doing the exact opposite to what they should be. Yes prejudice abounds. And what for I ask?