Comedy Central - laughter is the best medicine

Hi everyone

I know there's a lot of people on here in a bad place mood and health wise ATM (myself included) and after someone posted a joke on one of my threads that made me laugh it got me thinking - laughter is the best medicine (so long as it doesn't end up as an asthma attack πŸ˜‚!)

If anyone has any jokes/memes etc (which won't get deleted by admin!) that they'd like to share please feel free! Doesn't matter how good/long/old/dad-like they are - the aim is to make someone laugh today!

No moaning/complaints/advice to be found here please just good (or bad) light-hearted fun!

Here's mine (apologies in advance!);

How do you get pikachu on the bus?

You poke-him-on πŸ™„πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

Xxx

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  • Just remembered this classic from my childhood:

    What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?

    - A nun rolling down a hill

    What goes black, white, ha ha?

    - The nun that pushed her

    πŸ‘Š πŸ˜…

  • Very good :) x

  • Did you hear about the magic tractor?

    Drove down the road and turned into a field. :)

  • Great :D xx

  • Very good 😊

  • Lovely Emma :) . This reminds me of a true story.

    When I was living in London I was called up for jury service - at The Old Bailey no less! Well the jury had been picked and we were all sitting there in the courtroom like good little jurors should, and the judge said 'Who is your foreman?' Well we hadn't picked one had we.

    There was a guy on the front row all suited and booted so the whisper went round the back row - him in the front. About 4 of us poked him in the back. He jumped then got up and said 'I am the foreman sir'. Got to be done :) xx

  • πŸ˜‚

  • Lots of little silly jokes coming up

    What do you call a woman with eggs and bacon on her head? - Cath

    What do you call a man with a spade on his head? - Doug

    And a man without a spade on his head? - Dougless

    What do you call a woman with tiles on her head? - Ruth

    What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head? - Warren

    What do you call a stag with no eyes? - No idear

    And a stationery stag with no eyes? - still no idea.

    Feel free to groan. xx

  • groans :)

  • :) :D xx

  • What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff

  • Groan :)

  • What do you call a man with a wave on his head? - Eddy

    What do you call a man with a number plate on his head? - Reg

    Why did the worker get sacked from the orange juice factory? For not concentrating. x

  • What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that hangs on your wall? - Art

    . . . what if he also doesn't have a tongue? - Tasteless Art

    . . . what do you call his arms and legs? - Pieces of Art

  • Oh they are worse than mine :) x

  • What do you call a woman who can juggle 3 pints of ale?

    Beatrix

    And what do you call a woman who can juggle 3 pints of ale while making a vase?

    Beatrix Potter

    I'll get mi coat.

  • :) :D xx

  • Funny moments from years of coaching children gymnastics;

    2 5/6 year old girls sitting cross-legged being told off by their coach (probably done something dangerous cause it was a 'serious' telling off using 'The Tone'). One looks down for about 5 secs (... good she understands she's done something wrong/dangerous...), looks up, down, over at her friend and back to the coach and just blurts out - ' I have REALLY hairy legs'. I'm wetting myself watching as my friend try's to continue with a straight face. Don't think the Telling Off worked!

    Another girl (8/9ish at the time and in the competition squad) trying to put her leotard on without anyone seeing anything (very small changing room lots of kids/parents about - all girls). She's running late and there's a queue for the only toilet so she asks me what to do. I suggest the knicker trick typically used for swimming. She's never heard of it or done it before. I end up talking her through it. She succeeds and is so proud of herself she goes running out into reception waving her knickers in the air ... 'Dad Emma's taught me the knicker trick, Emma's taught me the knicker trick'... only problem is her dads 1 male (and so knows nothing of the knicker trick) and 2 a police officer... my hands shoot up in innocence... he looks at me confused then just laughs πŸ˜³πŸ˜…πŸ€£

  • :) :D xx

  • ...er what is the knicker trick please as I have never heard of it either! x

  • Only for the young/flexible/those with old stretchy knickers!

    Knickers on, bottom 1/2 of costume/leotard etc on top, take off one leg of kickers (bend hips/knees so nothing is seen) pull 'empty' half through gusset, casually take off second leg... voila.

    Can be done sitting or standing for a challenge! 😁

  • Oh yes done that before. Thank you. x

  • Have a look at the Positive Wellbeing site on here. There are some really good jokes. x

  • I can only remember a few jokes, what did the banana say to the doctor? I don't peel very well 😬

  • Not a joke as such, but a funny (and true - I was there) classroom story that still makes me laugh:

    Teacher: Jack, can you give me an adjective to describe the character of Mufasa in the Lion King.

    Jack (instantly): Dead.

  • Doctor, Doctor, I've got wind! Can you give me something? Yes - here's a kite!

    What do you think call a student that got C's all the way through med school? Hopefully not your doctor!*

    * πŸ˜ΆπŸ˜¬πŸ˜… -sorry for my really dark sense of humour there... Blame a really tired brain on pred. But hey it amused me so someone else may like it.

  • Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?

    Because the parrots-ate-'em-all.

    What is brown and sticky?

    A stick.

    Why do the elephants have Big ears?

    Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

    Thank you all for getting my day off to a good start.

    Jo

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