Generally Daft Area

Perhaps we could have a Generally Daft thread just for me. I seemed to be filling up the Memo to Self thread.

Here's one for starters: -

No, I don't know what possessed me to break a digestive biscuit into my soup instead of the granary bread. Couldn't understand the strange taste of my soup until, giving up and going back through to the kitchen, I found my slice of bread still sitting there beside the open biscuit jar.

Putting it down to having a blonde moment.

111 Replies

  • hi Nanna,

    Very funny did make me laugh.never tried that one haha.

    I told my mum and dad they needed a bungalow and a upstairs and down stairs toilet in it

    love Glynis xxx

    edit-did you find bits at the bottom of your bowl like when biscuit falls in your mug of tea or coffee?

    edit ( sp haha bowl)

  • Is that bowel? or soup bowl misspelt? Either way, didn't get that far. Taste from one spoonful was enough to tell me something wasn't right.

    Edit: split sentence.

  • Had to remember to take something in to work with me today, just couldn't remember what it was. Spent ages trying to figure out what.Finally got there: Memory stick!! serious blonde moment, hubby thought this was very funny.

  • My husband has been known to write a list of all the things I need to take to work and pin on the front door. Has been known to add HEAD to the bottom of the list. Cheeky.

  • A great cure for low mood thanks, esp to granny still laughing at the biscuit and soup

  • Flour power

    Weather improving, asthma improving. Spring-like sunshine outside. Thinks 'I'm feeling a lot better. Going to do some baking today'.

    As I rushed around making biscuits, thought I'd cut the time that mixer was on, by doing whole lot in one go. Measured out 6 oz flour and 2 oz custard powder. Placed in bowl and put on lid. Left feed-tube cover off to make it easier to add the margerine bit by bit to the floury mix.

    And that, I reckon, was my mistake...cos as the mix whizzed around at a rate of knots, much floury dust blew out of the feed-tube. Did I mention that with heat building up in the kitchen, I'd put on the three-bladed ceiling fan almost directly above the worktop? No? Well this how the entire kitchen quickly assumed a dusty, floury air about it. Like the set of a deserted house. Cue coughing fit. LOL

  • Rotfl!!!

    Oh Granny.......what can I say! Lol!!!! Loads!

  • HI Nanna,

    YOU made me laugh again and love to be a fly on your wall see you in action.

    love u loads Glynis xxx

  • Could not sleep last few nights not sure why but just felt stuffy with a virus and tossing ant turning all night.

    Last night when would settle put my pillow at the bottom of the bed and slept with feet near hubby's face.

    Not sure why but slept brill.

    Think it must be because no wall behind my head and air circulates better there but hey if it works will

    do it again.

    Can'T imagine what hubby thinks when wakes up.

  • Hey Nan ur better than a dose of prednisolone. U always make me laff on my bad dAys...

  • PS Gussypoo,

    I had soup again today but first I made sure the lid was firmly fixed on the biscuit jar. LOL

  • Of all the things I've lost today...........I miss my mind the most!""


  • Thanks Feejay for that one.

  • Not be but...... my Housing Association!

    I am on the decorating programme for elderly / disabled.

    Sent in the form saying just patching up of a wall where fuse box moved, other odds & ends & general tidy up of door frames where wheelchair has rearanged the paintwork.

    Contractor arives today, saying they are doing the hall walls and ceilings.... Noooo! I have only lived here 20 months and paint new when moved in!

    Oh, and they don't seem to have heard of breathe easy paint. Despite various calls and forms!

    ..... Housing just phoned - they are rattling contractors cage!

    They just don't know what one half is doing - Daft!!

    Sorry, more a rant than daftness!

  • Oh Kate, hope you get this sorted out. As contract administrator, I know sometimes they aren't told the whole story especially in the case of special requirements. I've spent many an hour on the phone with this. Mind you, sometimes has its funny moments. When householder has been told to empty the kitchen for painting and the guys get there and the householder has moved appliances into the hall - difficult for great hulking painters to get around and wallpaper suffering - Insurance dept. kept busy on that one. LOL.

  • DH spent ages looking for his specs today. If he had just lowered his eyes a fraction, he'd have more quickly noticed he was already wearing them. They're reading glasses so has them on for laptop then moves them slightly further down his nose so he can look over the top when doing something else.

  • GM strikes again

    Picture the scene. 11 PM at night and I'm putting the accumulated junk from mini clear-out in the car including two old sag-bag cushions filled with polystyrene beads. Well..they were a bit ropey but still held onto their polystyrene beads until I moved them around in the boot to make room for more stuff. As ancient seams gave way, the beads rapidly spilled out. Quickly shutting the boot to stop the bags moving any more, I then clicked the boot to lock the car. Locks clunked twice but interior light stayed on. Hmm. Tried to lock the car again, this time pressing the button on the keycard. No joy. Car would be safe leaving unlocked overnight but with interior light staying on and dashboard giving lightshow, thought I'd better find out the problem before the battery drained overnight.

    As luck would have it DH away for a few days so down to me. Checked boot, wouldn't open no matter how I clicked and tugged. Something sticking it? Cushions? Beads? Whatever, hauling on the boot from the outside wasn't doing anything. Time for desperate measures. Muttering under breath, folded seats forwards and crawled as far as I could, under the parcel shelf which had also got stuck, stretching into the boot space. Almost sliding in past the point of no return, I tugged and pushed to flatten cushions enough to see what the problem was. Cotton cover stuck in the lock. Crossing fingers, Renault had put in strong lock parts, I heaved at the cushion. Polystyrene beads snowing everywhere as it finally tore and came free. Wormed my way back out of the car and round to the boot lid. Opened beautifully. Ran into house and found a box also for out, that would sit across the boot and prevent a repeat. Sorted.

    Next day, emptied boot at the dump and found the cushions had, in the general melee of the previous night left most of their beads in the boot floor, under the seats etc. Going to take an age to vacuum. Reckon we're going to be coming across polystyrene beads till trade-in time.


    Edit: Update

  • Not me this time

    I knew they'd built that new health centre too close to my fence. Just had a wrong number on house phone, they were looking for the medical centre. LOL

  • Poor you grannymo,

    you'll have them knocking on your door soon asking for medical advice lol. Hope it doesn't come to that. Mind it might increase your fitness level;-)

    love Lydia x

  • Gran, maybe you could work in the new health centre? can't get much closer!

  • Work? What's that? I haven't spent all this time trying to avoid it, only for it to come knocking on my door. 8)

  • my old man always says, ""you work harder trying to get out of work"", damn and I thought it was easier to do nothing

  • My Car has just gone off to be repaired after I pranged it Friday!Not a good week, I lost my keys in the cinema luckily got them back!Son had severe asthma attack because of chlorine in pool, I had one straight after because of shock!I broke my phone (won't turn on so lost all my numbers)My hubby said your not having a blonde moment, it's been a blonde week!

    Let's hope this is a better week (can't be hard). Still laughing though


  • Holding small tin of beanz in one hand as I opened the cutlery drawer to take out a spoon, I tilted the tin slightly to read the microwave timing printed in tiny letters on the side. At which point, I suddenly realised I had tilted the tin too much as beanz and sauce dripped into the drawer.

    Not the thing you want to happen when dishwasher out of action - unbelievable! how many items of cutlery had drips of heinz beans on them.

  • Glad to see you buy Heinz granny and not the cheap beans. You always make me smile. Gus

  • Had a bit of a blip with my asthma recently and had an unexpected stay in hospital, asked my hubby to bring me some pj's in. Oh dear, big mistake... i got my daughter's pjama bottoms size 8!!! and her boyfriends t-shirt - bright red with big white letters across the front saying i love thing and on the back it says van dyke! He said well you did say bring the red pj's! Yes but out of my drawer not the ironing basket and in my size would have been good, lol. I have packed a little bag so will have the right size for my next blip, lol, Lois

  • A former BF managed to bring in a suspender belt instead of a bra!! Many Many years ago I hasten to add..

  • Collected prescription for inhalers then left on table in the cafe. We're there almost every day so either they'd keep it for us or hand back to the chemist. Its right next door to them.

    Cafe' not open as I went up the road at 9 am the next day, so just in case they'd been handed in, headed into chemist first. Even before I'd got to the counter, DH had caught up, waving the bag with my inhalers. Lass in the cafe had seen us passing and run out with them.

    Now I get asked by everyone when I leave the cafe, if I've got everything with me. Oh ha ha.

  • hi

    You always make me laugh nanna but glad you got them in the end xxxxx

  • Clearing out all use-by-date stuff in the fridge today, I was opening plastic boxes and tossing the contents in the kitchen bin. Opened a half full plastic bottle and chucked its contents in the bin just too late to stop. Spent a happy time trying to think of a way to lift the liner out of the bin without the liquid spilling out the base, which invariably has a wee hole. In the end, took the bin outside and opened wheelie bin and tipped contents in. And guess what? This one time, there wasn't a hole in the base of the liner.

  • hi all

    hope everyone is ok havent posted for a while , thought my latest disaster would fit in her,

    was in the kitchen last week , im doing quite well at the moment, went to get a spoon to stir my tea , lost my balance, grabbed the edge of the worktop to tru to stablise myself but didnt work went side on into kitchen cupboards then slat on the floor. had to be rescued and helped to a chair by my dad who found it rather amusing ,consequently i have door handle imprints in my leg and lots of veery painfull brusing!

    needless to say it was one of those really clever tea bags where you dont need a spoon and i neverr got to drink my tea !

  • Wishing you well soon, lil tinx. Shame on your dad for finding it funny. Still, good show for coming to help you up. I have a similar tale. Some years ago, we were on holiday in our touring caravan. To make the double bed, two pieces of wood were pulled out across the gap between the longer seats. Husband woke early one morning and leant forwards to see if any of the kids were awake too. Youngest waved at him. He waved back and according to her, promptly disappeared!

    I was wakened by a thump and discovered why. The wood under him had slipped and given way. LOL

    Took him an age to get back up as still encased in sleeping bag and somehow the zip had twisted underneath him. Ha ha. We tried showing sympathy but no good, we just kept laughing. Fortunately he saw the funny side.

    Talking about family holidays the other day, daughter (now 29) immediately came out with that story. Husband said, 'All those holidays and that's what you remember?'

    PS the day I sat on the sandwiches was second on her list.

  • Got sand in me knickers, and probably nearly everywhere else, rolled my trousers up to my knees and paddled in the sea, forgot I had my syringe driver on and somehow managed to bury it in the sand (whoops) whilst lying on the beach like a ""Beached Whale,"" but what the hell I had a fun time yesterday and whilst I was there with wonderful hubby and Lottie Dog my Asthma behaved itself.

  • Sounds like a good day, my husband put sand down my knickers whilst I was lying down on beach last week, thought it would be funny watching me trying to get it out without making a scene. Would have got him back but asthma was playing up.Had no energy to chase him round the beach, and revenge is a dish best served cold!


  • stuff never turned up for work so took afternoon off and went to the beach. Website said the sea was flat so thought great can go for a swim, how wrong was the site, quite a lively swell, Oh well I'm here and went for a swim, up and down like a yo-yo. felt like was floating in the air at times.

  • Took my dog jack up the fields for a good run round and guess what he got hold

    of to throw? a bear can so took it off him incase hurt his mouth.

    Then he found a big thick stick and had alot of fun with

  • Things are bad when you find yourself shaking the Peak Flow meter before blowing. D'oh!

  • Followed this up with playing football with a tumbler - it didn't break but another one fresh out the dishwasher went ping and did.

  • When I was a very young student nurse ( circa 1970 ) I gave out 30 raw eggs at breakfast time as I did'nt know I had to cook them!!!!............. WHAT A MESS! lol.

  • On Tuesday my DH asked what I was doing on Saturday. Oh cravens! What was happening on Saturday? Some Volkswagen thing. Or Classic car show I'd forgotten about. Said sorry, had I forgotten something?

    DH tried another tack. What's Saturdays date? Then laughed like a hyena as I got out the iPhone to check the calendar and felt stupid. Saturday is the 11th September. It's my birthday. D'oh! Must be getting old to forgety birthday. Alzheimers is fairly galloping along.

  • Happy Birthday

    Happy Birthday GrannyMo.

    I hope you have had a lovely day.

  • Happy Birthday Grannymo - hope it was fabulous

  • happy birthday Glynis xxx

  • Thank you for the birthday wishes. Had a great day.

    Today's daft thing wasn't me. Although past midnight and technically past my Birthday, DH asked could he get me anything?

    As the house was still warm from the muggy day, despite ceiling fans on, I asked for an ice lolly and a drink of diluting juice.

    ok off he went. Got met lolly and a plastic tumbler to hold under if it dripped. He poured out a very large blackcurrant juice too. When I'd finished my ice lolly I looked for this juice.

    There on the other side of the room was DH just about finished the tumbler he'd poured out for me. Red faced, he handed what was left in the glass to me. It's ok, got a refill.

  • Out for a drink last week, DH asked if I wanted ice with my G&T. Picked up my glass and in trying to get some ice, threw the gin in the ice bucket. ha ha.

    Claims he thought he'd picked up an empty glass. LOL. Had to fork out for another gin to go with the tonic.

  • Ha ha ha GrannyMo, thats funny, sounds like something I'd do!!

    Last night an attack of the hiccups staarted my asthma off!!

  • Grannymo-made me laugh xxx keep them coming xxx

  • Walking into bedroom, putting on light and immediately began pulling off my jumper. Turning to pick up my dressing gown, I realised the curtains closed earlier at night, were pushed aside enough that I was on full show. Fortunately for me, the new building behind us isn't open yet, so no-one there to get an eyeful.

    Blaming one small and bossy white cat who sticks her nose through closed curtains to have a wee look-see in case there's intruders eg foxes, hedgehogs or other cats in the garden. Guessing there was something out there that annoyed her tonight.

  • Today - Dropped off younger DD for yet another ante natal appt re blood pressure, plus I'd just left DH wrestling with cat and basket for vet appt, plus our old car (that's now older DD's car) is in today for recall on handbrake.

    So it was a rather distracted GrannyMo that stood at WRVS and asked for a tea instead of my usual black coffee. Brain not fully in gear, I appear to have nodded or something when they asked about milk and sugar as now drinking scalding hot cup of very milky tea with what appears to have at least four sugars.

  • Why is it that when someone on phone is going through security questions and asks for your post code, you give the post code of the house you grew up in and left many moons and house moves ago.

    Cos thats what I did this morning.

  • Why is it, when filling out DLA form on line, I ignored the save and continue button and have just lost the 15 pages I had completed????? GRRRRRRRRR!

  • Friend at work came out with a beauty last week!

    I work in RTA Insurance and handle claims for a big HGV company. One of their trailers was stolen and whilst handing the file over my colleague said ""I've had the engineer do a valuation on it""

    to which my friend said ""Well thats silly why didnt they do a full inspection""

    Then she had the moment where she realised what she had said and the giggling lasted about an hour!

    I'd love to list all of my generally daft comments but I think i'd take over the whole thread! Bimbo should be my middle name at times!

  • Gemma, your post reminds me of my Mum, who used to deal with the company cars as part of her job. One day, one of the drivers came to ask for a claim form because he'd been driving home when a deer jumped out onto the bonnet of the car. He filled the form in very carefully, and his description of the accident was 'the stag came over the hedge and landed on my bonnet'. The insurance company wrote back asking for the model and registration number of the stag .......

  • Haha that really doesnt surprise me with insurers!

    Have seen some classics on the accident forms. We have a box in them for drawing a diagram of how the accident happened - which is very useful - but some just take the micky!

    I had one guy who was subject to a road rage incident, where a man got out of his car, shouted at the lorry driver and punched his wing mirror. The driver filled in his form and when it got the diagram he drew a mirror and a fist!

    Also had a car driver who had come back to his car to find somebody had scratched it and left. So he drew a box with an arrow saying parking space, a box with an arrow saying car and a big question mark!

    Both kept me amused for a very long time!

  • Wow, insurance is more exciting than I realised ;) Love asking for the stag's model and registration!

    Not me (for once - sure I'll have plenty to add to this thread though) but today our dept administrator sent an email to the dept mailing list saying 'please let me know if you had any sick days in May and when they were'.

    My colleague hit reply all by mistake and sent to the entire dept 'None for me - I'm as healthy as a bean sprout this month.' Good laugh and triggered several more vegetable-related replies. Unfortunately I only feel as healthy atm as some old Tesco Value veg that's about to go off...

  • Nope insurance is dull you just occasionally get a funny one through!

    A guy we knew in Uni was running for the Union Presidency, and did his hust in front of several hundered people. And it was really really terrible. A friend was texting another mate to tell them about it and put something along the lines of ""pete just died on stage, completely humiliating he's got no chance"" and accidently sent it to the guy he was slagging off!

    When he realised what he had done he was completely mortified! So I had to do a very dramatic performance of ""OMG Pete, My mum text and said somethings up at home and my batterys dead and please can I just have your phone for 2 mins!""

    Yes sneaky but my god it saved a lot of drama!!! And looking back it was pretty funny :)

  • This evening, with a friend:

    My friend: 'I wonder what that car's doing. The people in it look official, they're both wearing light blue shirts with things on the shoulder. Maybe they're traffic wardens.'

    Me: 'Why would traffic wardens be driving around here in a car? Maybe they're plainclothes police.'

    Then realised what I'd just said...

  • Not me but OH. I'd asked for something from the floor on his side of the room and was about to get off my chair for it, when he laid down his laptop on corner of the footstool in front of him, then went to throw small item, underhand, over to me. Unfortunately he whacked his hand into the laptop. It must have hurt but he angrily refused a cold compress and in getting up, insisting he was ok, of course, then got his feet caught under the cable for the laptop which was plugged into an extension block under the sofa. Kicking his feet free, he marched off upstairs while I tried to keep a straight face and not dissolve into giggles. ROFL.

    All the more funny because earlier I'd been saying, one of the best things about my new Macbook was the magnetic connector which breaks free when its caught on something - meaning no more tripping over a mains cable and he'd said he didn't think he needed it.

    Its ok. I'd composed myself by the time he came back down and made a cuppa for him. Still smile when I think of it though.


    For the last few days, I have been unable to find my new inhaler (Symbicort). I quite clearly remember taking off the cellophane seal but where it went after that...well, your guess is as good as mine! Have searched all my handbags in current use and those at the back of the wardrobe. Lightbulb moment as remembered littlest grandson had been here that day. Could it be in the changing bag with its many pockets? Or the bag they use for his food and special milk sachets? No use to me this morning if indeed in there.

    Off I went to our all dancing all singing sparkling new health centre. SHUT! Well not shut as such as the doors slid obligingly open for me. I stepped into the Health Centre equivalent of the Marie Celeste. Apparently the doors were only open as workmen in. Exit stage left!

    Apparently one is expected to use the Out of Hours service at local hospital. Just could not face hanging about at the RAH, only to be told off about not keeping inhalers up to date.

    Had a think. Could it wait until Monday? No it couldn't. Every last time I have missed my inhaler for three days or more, bronchitis has surely followed. Husband came up with the answer - Always put our prescriptions into the same chemist, so go and ask if he can do one for you.

    And he did. Could have kissed him. Pharmacist that is. All is well. Can breathe again.

    BTW Looked in changing bag this afternoon and no, not in there or the other bag.

    Conclusion - Numpty me threw out the full inhaler and not the two duds.

  • Oh dear GrannyMo, hope that new inhaler fends off bronchitis.

    Some brilliant phrases, love it esp the pharmacist.

  • Glad you got it sorted GrannyMo. That is exactly the kind of thing I'd do so I'm glad to hear there is a possible solution. Though not sure if I want to kiss my pharmacist ;)

    Also glad you bumped up this thread as I've been pondering the best place to put today's piece of idiocy and this is of course perfect - but hadn't been updated since June so I'd forgotten about it!

    So last night, had to beat a hasty retreat from the shisha smoke (sure they were illegally smoking indoors grr). Hacking cough, SOB, lungs irritated.

    Lungs still irritated this morning. Manage to calm them down a little with inhaler, but then I need to go to Boots, because I need handwash.

    This is harder than it used to be - I used to just buy a cheapish (but not too cheap) one with a nice smell. These days I need to make sure it's not going to make me cough, so nothing too strong and esp. nothing too floral.

    How do I decide to test whether it will be a problem? Yes, that's right - open all likely ones and sniff them. With already irritated lungs. Genius idea, NOT! If lungs were just a bit more twitchy I'd probably have paid for that with a nice trip to Costa. Luckily for me, I just have very itchy lungs and my nice friend Steve close at hand. (NB I will of course do the sensible thing...for once - if needed. This is a post about my idiocy, not 'I need help'. Though maybe I do need help of another sort if I'm going to go round sniffing things I know set me off 'to test them'.)

  • haha philomena, i know it wasn't good for you but it's good you can laugh at it now :-)

    My idiocy / daftness this week is not related to asthma at all - i think i may have been Dr Who in a previous life!!! One day last week on a pupil's music i wrote the date as 13/3/14 so lost 2 years, today i did the opposite - wrote the date (not once but twice) as 17/3/10 I didn't even notice LOL Luckliy i was teaching an adult and she was comfortable enough to question it hahahaha We had a good laugh about it but i did blame my 'sallyshakes' for my brain being elsewhere this morning!

  • Oh how great not to be the only generally daft person here!!!! I was filling in one of my on line surveys I do for pocket money when I got a message saying my date of birth was outside the expected range. I got cross thinking that they were saying that I am now too old at 64 to do the surveys. I sent off a sniffy email and a few days later got a reply and boy was I red faced. I had filled in my date of birth as 1847 and hadn't noticed. Some days it does feel as if I was born then but the computer wouldn't have it!! Seeing as they rely on sensible answers before I get paid I think I may have a long wait until they contact me again!

  • young ish at 40 years old but thinking i've still lost my marbles (unless you count the 86 marbles in a jar in the cupboard).

    tinned beans by the company that starts with H do not live in the fridge

    eggs dont live in the dustbin/boiler cupboard

    margarine doesnt usually live in the freezer

    please can i blame all this forgetfulness today on the intake of sunshine?!

  • lol Pauline, you're doing pretty well for a 164-year-old!

    I wonder why that's even an option - surely there's no-one around filling in surveys who was actually born then?! Unless ghosts can use computers... Likewise often wonder why many of them go up to the current year - yes, I am 3 months old but I still have strong opinions about the usability of Apple products, or whatever the survey is for...

  • lol Spiritedstream, I've tried to put some very odd things in the fridge on occasion!

    Also, I can never seem to remember how many puffs of Intal I've had. Senility creeping up, and I'm only 26...I blame it on all this reading I have to do about patients with dementia - sometimes you start doing the same kind of things by the power of suggestion! I worry about what I'll be like when I'm in my 80s...

  • Philomela - i wasnt trying to put them away! i was looking for them for breakfast (eggs) and for tea (beans and marg), hmmmm, still blaming it on a short slow walk in the sun along the beach with ice cream (mint choc chip), maybe the mint went to my head? had a good day today, thank goodness after last night's scare. hope you starting to feel a bit better and less twitchy. take care xx ><>

  • Do you think we can blame everything on meds?? I do and say such odd things it is either something to worry about or just me being me.

    My eldest son had his birthday in February and as we were leaving his home I gave him a cuddle and told him to be sure to enjoy the rest of his Christmas! He just hugged me back and called me a poor old soul!!

    I too have lost a new Symbicort inhaler at least once. I find it such a faff getting the seal off the thing that by the time I am sorted I am in a right old tizz. Got Arthritis in my hands so it is a bit difficult. I found that I had put the plastic seal in the cupboard and the inhaler in the bin. Not a good idea really.

  • Hi Philomena just noticed I didn't reply to your comment about my survey answer. It was even worse than having an option to tick. I actually filled it in as 1847 checked it and was puzzled when it wouldn't take it!

  • Had a lie in this morning it was all of 4:30 before I had to get out of bed. I made a drink and got comfy on the chair with my Ventolin and went to check the news on Ceefax. The television just didn't work. Dead as a Dodo! I checked everything and still no luck. Typical I thought. For the first time in years we are getting new furniture delivered today and now the television has died. Felt really miserable wondering how I was going to tell my poor long suffering husband about the extra expense coming up. He got up and I made his coffee and came back into the living room. He was reading the Ceefax pages!!!!

    Before I had chance to ask how he had managed to fix the television so quickly he said and I quote......"" Are you all right cos it's just not like you not to switch the telly on first thing""

    I said ""What do you mean switch the telly on?""

    ""Well you know switch the telly on at the wall!""

    ""Oh"" says I,"" I just wasn't really in the mood for the news today""

    He took one look at my face and the pack of spare batteries out for the remote control and he knew just what I had done!!!!

  • lol Pauline! My dad nearly sent a computer back to the shop once because he couldn't turn it on...then realised he hadn't plugged it in!

    Yesterday I made pasta with meatballs. At least that was the plan...was staring at the pan and the pot of pasta thinking 'have I got everything?' (i often forget the pasta then have to keep the sauce on for ages while it cooks).

    Realised after a while it might help if I actually added the meatballs...

  • You really made me laugh there, Philomena. I suppose that's one way of going veggie!

  • Nice cheap meal you had there!!!

    I am always doing stupid things and yet I can honestly say I am not stupid things just happen to me!

    Could hardly speak on Friday had a chest infection. We had promised to look after our grandchildren for a few hours and I thought it would be fine. I ended up in a right state and Aimee the 7 year old said...""You know the trouble with you is the fact that we keep talking to you and you are just too kind to ignore us!"" or as my husband said...""No she just cannot bear to be left out of a conversation! she would have the last word even if it really was literally her last word!""

    I hate not being able to do things and I will insist on helping and I always make things worse!

    Putting a colour on my hair I managed to drop the bottle which bounced. Dark colour splashed up the bathroom wall and all down the front of the toilet. I bent down to pick the bottle up before any more spilled out only to find that my hair, covered in dye, had swept down the wall like a very wide paintbrush. I have Arthritis and in my struggle to stand up again I managed to get dye on the side of the bath too. As my long suffering husband said....why on earth didn't I just ask him to pick it up for me when he was only next door??? Because as I always say ""I can manage you know I am not helpless"" Hopeless oh yes indeed.

  • Oh Pauline you've made me laugh out loud at the picture you've painted!!!!!!

    I hope you get the dye job done in the end.... ;-)


  • Lol Pauline! Know what you mean...but that is a funny image!

    Re meatballs: yes, accidentally going veggie. The only way it's ever likely to happen with me.

  • I got the dye job done and I got a very good deal out of it!!!! My darling husband now strips to the waist stands behind the chair and goes all ""oh er madam"" and he colours it for me. And he does a better job than I ever managed bless him. I am a bung it on and keep your fingers crossed sort whereas he is very precise and covers every strand. Brilliant! Well they do say opposites attract and we are certainly that!

  • hehe Pauline, your own personal hairdresser, brilliant!

    Another culinary incident this evening. Making a potato-based oven bake thing, with chopped potatoes. 20 mins in oven and potatoes still rock-hard...eventually realise that you're supposed to boil them first! So had to pick them all out of the onions and oil etc to boil them and put them back.

    I swear I haven't always been this blonde. I blame Steve.

    EDIT: I also discovered when I came to eat...finally...that I'd left out one of the ingredients that was my reason for making it! Though actually I'm glad I did as it was pretty rich and heavy to start with. I have other plans for that halloumi...

  • Genuinely been puzzled all evening as to why one almighty great big sneeze has left my coughing and feeling a tight ! Durr the thing that made me sneeze made my asthma flare up ! Doh silly brain ! No idea what tho !! X

  • Went for a day out yesterday with my long suffering husband. It started to rain a little bit so he untucked the hood on his waterproof jacket just in case of a real down pour. It was drizzling on but not too bad when the hale started!! Me being a helpful sort of person grabbed his arm and put his hood over his head for him. Well how on earth was I supposed to know it was full of rain and hale stones????? He was not very amused with me but I have to admit I did laugh at the expression on his face as the contents of the hood went down his neck!!!! Horrible woman that I am!!!!

  • Pauline, that's brilliant! Shame you didn't have a camera handy!

  • oh dear pauline.

    very funny. my ribs hurt, but for once it's not my asthma.

  • hahahaha Pauline - i love it!!

  • The awful thing is that this is just the sort of stupid thing I tend to do all the time! Full of good intentions that just go astray!!!! Good job he loves me after all these years of torture!

  • Very very funny Pauline!!! :-D

  • Very funny Pauline, it did make me laugh.

  • We went past a poster advertising a new film called ""Piranha 3DD"" today. I said to my husband that I know what 3D is but what on earth is 3DD? He said ""A fish with big boobs!"" No reply I could make really>

  • lololol! Your posts are brilliant Pauline, that really made me laugh (as teachers would remind me, with you not at you, of course!)

    Think this thread should come with a health warning lol...

  • Over the last year, I've had Seretide 250 for a few months then my asthma nurse changes me onto Symbicort 200/6. Then we change back to Seretide and back again. For me, there is no real change to my PF (runs about 320 - 340).

    At the moment I should be on Seretide but for some reason, the other day, I put in a script asking for Symbicort. Suddenly struck me I had the 'wrong' inhaler that night but only after I had taken it out of the box, taken the seal off and raised to take a puff. Hmm..Bit late to take it back..

  • Nothing major, just thought id write a daft comment telling people i cant read some of their fancy posts in colour writing because im dyslexic lol so if by chance im reply to a post and suddenly stop and uve changed ur colour, just thotght i would let you know im not being rude and ignoring u, just my brain is deciding not to co ordinate the colour. Soqry, masive apologies!

  • lol that's the kind of thing I'd do!

    Hope this isn't making it too 'asthma-y'as we're in off-topic but is there a reason for the chopping and changing or does your asthma nurse just change her mind about what works best for you every few months?

  • When in a childrens play not assume that the purple butterfly which you think is painted on the floor is safe to tread upon.....turned out it was a plastic butterfly which shot away from my foot! Red face - bruised ego! (Amongst other bits!)

  • I have gained a whole lot of weight over the past 2 years because of the steroids. Most of it is on my tummy and my bust which has gone mad!!!! I was taken out to lunch by my husband as a treat cos I was feeling a bit better after a horrible few months. He casually asked if I still felt ""in control"" of my boobs and know where they are now that they are bigger? To put things into context I was a B cup and am now a D and bigger with it if you get my drift! I was a bit huffy and said naturally I am ""in control"" and know where they are why shouldn't I? He then asked why my right one was sitting in the gravy??????? I am normally slightly daft and things just seem to happen to me but I did feel like a twit when I saw my not unsubstantial chest covered in gravy! It was a white cotton top too! Good job we are regular customers and they know me. Red faced doesn't cover it at all.

  • Oh Pauline, I couldn't help laughing, but how embarrassing for you. I hope you managed to get all the gravy out of your top.

  • We are moving from our flat to a bungalow in 10 days time. We are decorating the bungalow which is fun because I am allergic to paint fumes!!!! Every 20 minutes or so my husband says ""That's enough sit down and rest and get some fresh air."" Yesterday I was in the lounge and he was in the bedroom and he shouted through to me. ""I can hear you breathing. Stop it! Now!"" A bit harsh I thought.

  • I was busy chooing my neighbour's cat that was taking a keen interest in my pond fish out of my garden in the twilight of the evening and to encourage it on its way I squirted water at it, little did I know at the time that my neighbour was sitting in his garden.

    Oops, then I realised that he will have heard me say darn cat its always in my garden.

    Well done asthmagirl for putting your foot in it once again!!

  • I am being driven CRAZY by one of my colleagues, a baby of 22 who won't stop SNIFFING. She has hayfever but won't take anything for it and hasn't got the brain to blow her nose. I've offered her my tissues, my Benedryl and my Sudafed. I've run out of things to offer and now I'm worried that I'll snap, leap out of my chair and make her EAT the b****y tissues then put a peg on her nose shouting 'NOW sniff if you can!' before running out of the office and across the fieds to hide in the woods.

    Rant over. I almost feel better now!

  • I am being driven CRAZY by one of my colleagues, a baby of 22 who won't stop SNIFFING. She has hayfever but won't take anything for it and hasn't got the brain to blow her nose. I've offered her my tissues, my Benedryl and my Sudafed. I've run out of things to offer and now I'm worried that I'll snap, leap out of my chair and make her EAT the b****y tissues then put a peg on her nose shouting 'NOW sniff if you can!' before running out of the office and across the fieds to hide in the woods.

    Rant over. I almost feel better now!

    Hehe, Annista, your description did make me laugh. Urgh, wish people wouldn't inflict their bad manners on others. Have you ever seen the Pains in the Office/Train/Public series of books?

  • TJ, I'm so pleased you got a laugh out of it - Me too now, especially as I'd actually started the post to admit that when a (different) colleague left the office I wished them a good weekend (where was my brain?) and then got totally taken over by a rush of rage and homicidal impulses. Anyway, more of the same tomorrow!

  • Today in GP's room: he tells me to take 3 puffs of Symbicort in the morning and 3 in the evening (instead of 2) for a few days to kick lungs into submission.

    Me: ' in the morning...and 3 in the evening...that's...ummm, well, a lot anyway.'

    Have just realised now how much of an idiot I sounded with apparently not being able to do 2x3. (I was actually trying to calculate it in micrograms for some reason but couldn't work it out - major brain fuzz).

    I'm glad he knows me well and doesn't think I'm a complete idiot...I think lol. Plus he had just asked me if I was feeling unwell on top of the lungs and I said yes, so think some brain fuzz/idiocy is excusable. But still...oh dear ;)

  • Playing with my little boy today with his playmobil farm and he says to me, ""this is like when you were little hundreds of years ago mummy""........Cheers!!

  • thank you angelica - you made me smile after a generally rubbish day!!

  • Sorry to hear you've had a pants day jinglefairy, glad it made you chuckle, it did me too!

  • I have not been on here for a while because apart from being unwell we have moved house. Or rather moved from a flat in town to a tiny cottage in a village 7 miles away. We love it and the cats are happier than ever however I have been exhausted with the stress and all the work involved.

    So my OH suggested a day out to get away from everything. So we went to a nearby town on the bus for a little break. I was using my walking stick because my back was playing up and my heart sank when the bus arrived to take us home. It was a coach type bus with 5 steep steps to climb to get aboard! Steps are my worst enemy when my back is bad but luckily I managed to get on board. The driver was a lovely man from Sri Lanka and we have travelled with him before. He is always polite and very pleasant. So by the time I had managed the steps, juggled my bag and my stick and found my bus pass he was very well aware that I have a problem. So when he smiled at me and said.....""Second seat behind me is the best seat"" and smiled at me I thought how kind he was and that there must be extra leg room there. So I hobbled along and had to go sideways into the seat which is difficult for me so it took ages. I was hovering above the seat preparing to let myself drop knowing it was going to hurt when my OH appeared beside me and he asked what the heck I thought I was doing!!! The driver was waving his arms at me and saying please please and pointing to the seat. So again I said thanks but my OH grabbed my arm and made me get out of the seat and sit near by. I was cross thinking he may upset the driver who had been so kind to me. When I had settled down he asked what I thought I was doing sitting in that seat because the driver had said..."" Seat behind me is a wet seat"" and please please was actually ""pee pee!!!"" The queue behind my OH was quite long by this time and the whole bus load knew what an idiot I had been. I started to laugh and ended up purple with coughing and upset the driver even more.

    When we got off the bus I thanked him again and he just shook his head and wouldn't look at me. Wonder why???

  • Ha ha ga Pauline, priceless!!! :-)

  • Just been outside to put the bins/recycling out. The cold air started me coughing which set the neighbours dogs barking. Oops

  • I made some apple baked beans and used 2 cups of apple cider VINEGAR instead of apple cider and when I got to the 3 TBSPs I was supposed to use of the vinegar and had none left, I realized my error. My mother helped me fix it with baking soda to cut the acid. Turns out we got rave reviews of the beans and then I had to fess up to my mistake so that someone might duplicate it themselves.

  • My problem at the moment is that my brain just wont work. i forget everything from what i need at the shop to where i put my health insurance card. also this morning my mum said what gime is it? it was 10:07 so i said 07:10... really? yes...oh no. ooops!

  • Just went to do some evening meds. Got my spacer out of the medicine cabinet, and dropped half. I watched on helplessly as it bounced around the toilet rim, fell in and sank. Quite glad I have more than one spacer.

  • Lol haha that mabe me laugh. Thanks ;-)

  • i need an almost endless supply of spacers! kids (and drunk students) seem to end up using them as a glass, fortunately they just leak out the bottom, but after the first 'near miss' i made sure i keep them VERY clean and hidden with my inhalers, can imagine that not going well meds-wise! fortunately i learnt that if you give the bottoms of the aerochambers a good wash they make a good emergency kids chew toy for teething, and musical instrument for older kids. and empty inhaler cannisters make a good rattle. emergency rainy-day activities often involve stickers, inhalers and spacers. im a walking pharmacy for toys!

  • Lol soph maybe i should get more creative with my medical paraphanelia ;-) my family say im smoking a pipe of peace when doing a neb as the mouth piece looks sort of like a pipe abd the stuff coming out of it...

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