GrannyMo's DIET FOR STRESS
Please note that if going on any diet you should check with your doctor.
This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up in your body during the day.
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
4 oz. lean boiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars
Late evening snack:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
Rules for this Diet
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than you do.
Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
Example: Milk shakes, buttered popcorn, hot dogs, snickers bars, Doritos and cheese.
Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Things licked of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
Foods that have thesame color have the same number of calories.
Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream: mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
Chocolate is a universal colour and may be submitted for any other food colour.
Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of calorific mass.
Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
PS This diet plan should be taken with a pinch of salt.