A Poem - for Carole (CDPO 16)

[Greenthorn]

This is a short poem I wrote this morning in memory of Carole, and Cofdrop, who have recently passed on.

I was inspired by a poem called The Dash by Linda Ellis, which likens the hyphen between two dates on a tombstone as to representing so much more. What matters is how we spend our "dash."

Dates of birth and dates of death

are only marks on one long breath,

And length of breath does not suffice

to speak of love, or joy of life;

But heights of life are a better measure

of timeless moments,

and timeless treasures.

[Ern007]

Excellent Greenthorn - More than that very true. Dates do tell we we are born and the day we died. That's all.

Lovely Tribute.

[sassy59]

That's truly beautiful David and a fitting tribute to two lovely ladies. Thank you. Xxx❤️

[Donald_1931]

That’s lovely David, The dash certainly triggers the imagination for me too.

[Threecats]

That is lovely Greenthorn and very thought provoking. It is indeed how we spend “the dash” that matters.

[Thepainterswife]

That is so good David xx

[Izb1]

A lovely poem for our girls x

[Numptybrain]

That’s beautiful, how thoughtful

Wendy xx

[Morrison10]

good poem, I hope we all have good memories of life, best wishes, Jean x

[Greenthorn in reply to Morrison10]

Thanks Jean; without our memories where would we be? I think many of my memories I shed like an old skin, but I compensate by creating new memories all the time. This is especially true of all the patients I meet in hospital, both on the wards and playing piano in the reception area. I think I am lucky in that regard.

[katieoxo60]

Lovely tribute Greenthorn to our recently lost members . Thank you

[Rattle]

Thanks for the lovely poem and tribute Greenthorn x

[Dottie11]

Thank you. So well put and tribute xx

[Nicholatracy]

beautiful 🐞

[Nula2]

Ahh that's beautifully written Greenthorn and so true❤️. Thank you for sharing 😊xxx

[Greenthorn in reply to Nula2]

Thanks Nula2, its not so much about length of time, more about who we have loved, the connections we make, our ups and down. All of us have special memories, a kind of treasure chest to draw strength from.

[Nula2 in reply to Greenthorn]

Yes we do and although my life situation (not just my health but my life in general ) is not great now I try to focus on what I do have not what I don't. Think myself lucky for a start that I have my own bed to sleep in, some people don't even have that.

[Greenthorn in reply to Nula2]

I'm thankful that I have a small garden and although I have to move from here within two years, I spend increasing time in the garden and invest in new plants where I can. . Thankfully I have two neighbours with green fingers who occasionally lend an hour or so. One thing for sure, the new property must have a garden!

Reading your reply tells me how much people rely on this forum for support and just to communicate with each other. ❤️

[Turnipgirl in reply to Greenthorn]

I got given a fixed term 5 year tenancy with the city council for this place which will expire in 2028!

It might get renewed or it might not or I might decide I've had enough and want to move somewhere else as you never know what's going to come up in the future do you?

Come the end of May I will have lived here for a year and I feel I have come a long long way in that year!

It's amazing how quick the years fly by!

[Greenthorn in reply to Turnipgirl]

HI Turnipgirl, yes the years fly by - especially past 70 years! But I ought to clarify my situation. I am a leaseholder but the landlord (Clarion Housing) plan to regenerate the estate where I live. (Its being knocked down and re-built over the next 10-12 years.) I was ear-marked into one of the new flats in the very first stage. But they haven't offered me a garden so I have put two fingers up and have decided to move nearer to where my family are in Northampton. This is an exciting chapter in my life.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Greenthorn]

Where I live there's a communal yard where the washing lines are and some seats if you want to sit outside!

Here they encourage you to put your washing out on the lines when it's nice as it cuts down on damp in the flat and it's better for the environment as well and it's cheaper than putting things in the dryer which guzzles up energy and costs money to run.

At the old place myself and the front flat all got told off for putting our washing out on the line to dry which was ridiculous!

I had said to the people in the front flat how it must be nice to have money to waste and chuck around being wasteful with resources and they said that was stupid as well getting told off for hanging things on the line to dry!

[Nula2 in reply to Greenthorn]

Oh so sorry you have to move 🙁hope you find somewhere with a nice garden and good neighbours🤞. Yes this forum has become an important part of my day now. So supportive, informative and full of fun. Also I love hearing your stories, reading Dons clever witty poems and looking at Erns talented paintings 😊 plus everyones life stories. I think we all help each other through the darkest moments, which is priceless. ❤️xxx

[Greenthorn in reply to Nula2]

Please see my reply to Turnipgirl. I had been prevaricating for two years on how I would respond - a) accept the replacement property or b) move on. Finally I've taken the bull by the horns and have decided to move. I will move close to where my family are in Northampton. My son is 16, 17 in May and he has two younger step- brothers and a step- sister who will turn 3 years next Thursday. They all call me "Dad." They are all "extended family" - something quite normal in Ghana culture! (My wife is Ghanaian.)

[Nula2 in reply to Greenthorn]

Ah that will be lovely for all of you. Be good to have family close by. xxxx

[Greenthorn]

Thanks everyone, its not so much about length of time, more about who we have loved, the connections we make, our ups and down. All of us have special memories, a kind of treasure chest to draw strength from.

[Turnipgirl]

That was so unfair wasn't it when she died especially when she was housebound for ages before that happened!

[Greenthorn in reply to Turnipgirl]

So many things lie on the balance of unfair. That is why support groups like this are such a blessing.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Greenthorn]

Yes I have been on the receiving end of many unfair things myself like getting evicted last year but looking back turned into the best thing that could have happened to me, getting that pharmacy job snatched away from me because my face didn't fit and I wouldn't give them their own way there over working a Sunday shift but looking back I feel when they finished me it was a blessing in disguise as no way would that have been happily ever after there but at the time it felt like the world had ended but no it hasn't and life is still rolling on!

[Greenthorn in reply to Turnipgirl]

I remember reading your posts, and helpful replies, at the time of the pharmacy job. That certainly seemed unfair. But very often its best to drop bad news like unwanted baggage, so long as you remain true to your own integrity, your own sense of worth. I overcame disciplinary proceedings at a school, the whole thing fed by unsubstantiated gossip, prejudices and jealousy. But on being reinstated I found the position to be untenable. I took sick leave with the support of my doctor and eventually my contract was terminated. But instead of pursuing them through the Industrial Tribunal, I "dropped the baggage" and moved on, successfully getting a job in another local school. The best thing that ever happened to me. I retired 7 years ago. But when I look back at so many events in my life, my loss of hearing especially, I have come through it - new hearing aids are my lifeline and I enjoy music more and more playing piano in a SW London hospital and being told by patients and visitors., "You make a difference". I salute you Turnipgirl for staying true to yourself.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Greenthorn]

Thing is with court proceedings they are very stressful and long winded for all involved as getting evicted was!

With the initial notices they had sent out in the July of 2022 it turned out I was right and they had made mistakes on them so couldn't use it so had sent me another one in the November of 2022 and they messes up the court paperwork and Judge had ordered a hearing in the county court.

It took them 10 months to evict due to them messing up the paperwork!

The other lady who started at the pharmacy when I did was so disgusted by their attitudes that she put in her months notice just after I got finished from there!

That was a valuable lesson to me not to go to that employer again so it wasn't a waste!