Will this have you in stitches? - Lung Conditions C...

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Will this have you in stitches?

2greys profile image
18 Replies

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on.

"I'm about to close,' the surgeon says.

The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!"

The doctor hands him the thread and says, "Suture self".

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2greys profile image
2greys
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18 Replies
sassy59 profile image
sassy59

🙄excellent 2greys 😂xx

Snackjack profile image
Snackjack

Liked that.

Annie31 profile image
Annie31

Brilliant! I love these 'play on word' jokes😁

2greys profile image
2greys in reply to Annie31

Not many people know it, but the Devil actually wears a wig. You'd never know if you weren't told - it's a perfect fit. Anyway, down in the world of fire and brimstone one guy did find out, and he decided to have a little practical joke. So one night, he sneaks past the guardian demons and manages to get all the way into Satan's bed chamber, whereupon he steals the hair-piece and makes good his escape.

Well, of course the Devil was most displeased by this, and he rounds up his demons, and demands to know which of them had been so lazy as to let someone sneak past them. Naturally, none of them owns up, which makes him even madder: So he calls a general meeting of everyone in the underworld: everyone has to attend.

The meeting is held in a huge cavern, and it's absolutely packed (except for the odd gap in the crowd, where there's a lava-pit or bottomless fissure in the floor). As Satan steps up to speak, everyone sees that he's got no hair, and peals of laughter start echoing out around the hall.

The devil bellows at them to be quiet, and a deadly hush falls.

"Whoever stole it," he shouts, "had better return it immediately!" And here he paused for effect...

"Or else there'll be Hell Toupee!"

Annie31 profile image
Annie31 in reply to 2greys

😬😁😂😂😂

MoyB profile image
MoyB in reply to 2greys

🤣🤣🤣

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Oh dear 😁👍 x

madonbrew profile image
madonbrew

😂😂😂

leo60 profile image
leo60

Thank you 😂😂😂 xx

Collienut profile image
Collienut

😂😂😂

MoyB profile image
MoyB

Where on earth are you finding these? They are really making me laugh. Thank you! xx Moy

Fircone profile image
Fircone

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

shouty profile image
shouty

🤣

Shirleyj profile image
Shirleyj

😀😀😀

Margaret_craft profile image
Margaret_craft

Brilliant 2greys. 😂 x

majji profile image
majji

Love it lol

Alberta56 profile image
Alberta56

Congratulations ;You have come up with a joke which my daughter (joke book specialist) has never heard before.😂😂😂🤣

Nicholatracy profile image
Nicholatracy

Loved it, very funny 🐞

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