I had a review at doctor with nurse. She absolutely destroyed me. She did spirometry then said quote..you have copd because you smoked. I pointed out and as I if she had copy of consultant letter where I would be having more test before being labelled..she said my Dr had put on my file that I had copd so that's what she is going with. She had blocked out an hour for me but gave me 15 minutes. I am looking for gp practices in my area. She made me feel guilty for having smoked..have spent the day crying my eyes out. I am going to put in a formal.complaint before I leave. Tried to show her my copy of consultant letter as she could not be bothered to look.it up on computer she was not interested.
I spent the whole of today crying. I asked for a copy of my results which I will pick.up Thursday. Definitely not staying at that practice. Heartless sad excuse for a human being.
On a positive not ENT appointment fast track as Dr queried throat cancer out come acid reflux. Have nasal congestion for weeks now just now with nasal spray and nasal wash settling down. Just want may to come and hear results June. But can't wish my life away.
Was able to speak to a lovely asthmaUK nurse as BLF Nurse was not available who allowed me to cry my eyes out. I know I smoked but .....
Put a complaint in. I had hell when I found I had asthma. My GP's didn't know if I had asthma but I was treated for it. Only when I went to hospital to help me get my breath back that's where I got told I had asthma. Every since my doctor's have been amazing with me. I can understand what it feels like feeling useless. Just find a better doctors. For now go on consultants information about controlling your problem. Good luck finding a more understanding doctors and also good luck with getting the answers you need.
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Thank you
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Hang in there. I understand that is easier said than done. But I am sure that you will get the answers you are in need of. Please let the group know how you are doing. Again good luck
It’s good to hear from you Emily despite the circumstances.
I don’t know of anyone who does not regret something they have done in their life, or not done for that matter,
Please, think back to how far you have progressed over the past few months. Put your trust in your Consultant because he is the one with the experience and knowledge.
Nurses such as the one you describe are in the minority.
Going back over the past is futile because neither you nor she can change it. You are to be credited for how you threw yourself into, listened to and actioned upon every bit of advice you were given by the good folk here.
Truly Emily you have come so far don’t allow the unkind words of someone else to affect you. The old saying of “ sticks and stones” always remains true.
Keep going the way you have and if you cannot find another gp quickly to transfer to, then ask the receptionist at the surgery to mark your notes that you do not wish to be seen by that nurse again.
Complain if you feel you must, but it’s a long drawn out process, it will be tiresome and having tried it when my gp missed my cancer and I nearly died, I doubt you will gain very much from it. Except of course the satisfaction, and yes sometimes that is worth the effort.
Rather put your energy to GOOD use, and find a way to move on and concentrate on working on yourself as you have been doing.
I have tried really hard and her comment has left me a bit battered and bruised I am really hurt by today and I shouldn't be but I am and feel the guilt of smoking coming back. I am angry now as well and really tearful. Hopefully I will feel a bit more positive tomorrow. She has actually set me back a little
That nurse needs to retrain, before she makes the mistake of saying the same thing to someone who has never smoked a CIG in their lives and have COPD and there are more and more none smokers getting it from environment al causes.
Don't give her the satisfaction of getting upset.
Tell your Docter how much she upset you. I did and she was grovelling like hell to me at the next review. xx
Thank you Meg, your kindness is appreciated. Pete is ok but chokes a lot and is bringing up lots of clear mucus. He’s trying to stay positive and will see respiratory doctor in May.
helo Emily, the nurse you described must have a twin working here in Suffolk lol I was made to feal very belittled, and treated as if I should be grateful that she was seeing me, this is at our local sugery, the hospital is completely different and im treated as a person not a number,i have been having trouble with my left lung I have bullies empherseyma and asked for ct scan at our docs, he said couldn't warrant that so i asked to go back to my resptry doc. the first thing he did was to send me for ct scan,so never give up, its your body and there are some very good nurses and doctors out there, just a few bad ones
Reading your experience has made me sad and angry at the same time. To start with, your illness may or may not have been caused by the fact you smoked. COPD can be caused by many factors. And, what's with picking on smokers? Or ex smokers who took the huge step of quitting smoking. People whose weight or diet led to problems aren't punished in this way. Someone hurt in a car crash isn't berated for driving recklessly. Someone hurt Climbing a mountain isn't questioned about whether that was a good idea. But with smokers it's a case of you did this to yourself.
We have all done things that we regret, that weren't the smartest thing to do. But, who hasn't? And that's irrelevant to your health right now. The nurse had no right to speak to you that way, because even if she knew your COPD was caused by smoking as opposed to any of the other many factors that can cause it, which she clearly can't know, that was irrelevant to your visit and she should have been talking to you about your health and how to manage your condition. And certainly not to tell you off and make you cry. If you were still smoking her attitude would be too much. But you quit. You already quit and her talking to you like that can't make you quit again! Her attitude was uncaring and unprofessional and unsympathetic.
Tomorrow is a new day. Try to not let her continue to upset you as she's not worthy of your time. I know it's not easy to let something hurtful go. I take things to heart and dwell on things, I take things too personally and get too easily upset. So I know it's not easy to just move on. But she really isn't worth your time and emotions.
Sorry got to disagree with you on the weight issue, as well as my copd i am overweight and have osteoarthritis in both knees, I struggle to move around due to both conditions, I swim as part of my weight loss journey as my doctor flatly refused to recommend me for knee replacement surgery but does agree this is needed, I am currently four stone lighter than when first diagnosed but still need to loose at least the same amount before I get recomended, he has already moved the goalposts three times in the weight loss total so there is no doubt i am being punished.
I see your point and my apologies to you if I upset you. I was only going on the basis of a friend who also is waiting for a knee replacement surgery but has been told to lose the weight before she’ll be considered for it. Although there was no leniency in the weight issue, she was not blamed for her situation or told she’d brought her problems on herself.
A while ago my mum was in the hospital and I went to visit her and was very upset. While I was there I had a coughing fit. A nurse turned round to me and said, there’s a smokers cough if ever I heard one. It was a totally uncalled for remark and totally unnecessary.
But, maybe it’s spiteful and unkind people generally, rather than people being uncaring toward those with lung problems specifically. I hope you can get your knee surgery. And congrats on losing that amount of weight, I’m impressed even if your doctor isn’t.
Thank you for the reply, your comments didn't upset me but I get frustrated when people mention reasons for being how we are, I didn't deliberately intend to get obese as I am sure you didn't deliberately intend to damage your lungs yet we are encouraged in many different ways to adopt part of our lifestyles that will affect us detrimental in some way, I often get " fat shamed " by healthcare professionals and many others, I agree entirely about others being shamed by supposed professional people, it's a disgrace, hopefully we just ride above it all but not without some sort of hurt feeling, take care and breathe easy, xxx
Oh Lordy, some of these GP surgeries need a good sorting out! Do they not realise people come there because they are unwell! 🙄 I went to my GP over 4 weeks with shortness of breath and on the Tuesday I was told it was ‘anxiety’ and by the Friday I was in ICU on a life support machine. I think maybe change surgeries/practioner as you deserve support during such a difficult and stressful time, not judgement!!! You take care of yourself xx
Hi Hun, Well, after not hearing from you for awhile, I did think, "Great Emily is Busy with Rehab and understanding her Lungs". Just one Stupid person's remark can demolish all your hard work,,,BUT, You know you won't let that happen. Rise above the stupid remark and Stand Proud Hun. My Transplant Doctor Told me that when it comes to Transplant, he see's more Heart Problems are due to Smoking and Lungs are either Genetic(as mine) or Pollution(including Smoking). So This Silly Nurse is so Wrong. We have always had to Defend our Illness because of the lack of Understanding by Joe Public. Unfortunately we will have to Carry on defending the Fight. I do Wish there was a Stronger Force who would Ultimately Stand up for us. We are That Force Emily, you are Strong now, Together we can Be Strong. Stay Well & Positive Hun. Love n Hugs. xxxxx
dont let her comments bother you we all feel quilty for smoking without a nurse being like that what was your spirometry test result for her to come to that conclusion
Hi. I am so sorry that you have. Copd I also have it and I do agree with you that we're are treated like rubbish. But I don't care what anyone think the government made money all the time with tax for smoker. But would pay for med? Or maybe have a copd nurses i gp practice. I hope you don't fell to bad. As I have had it for 4 years and yes your day to day life has to change. Everything just take longer. And the smallest thing xan make you fell low. Sending you the message sent with love.
So what!! you were a smoker, Don`t let the actions of a callous nurse get you down!!
I have had a very similar experience with a nurse AND I complained that being treated like a interruption (inconvenience) to her day..
I am moderate to severe COPD, Emphysema, Bronchiectasis with a ventiliary defect and Ground glass opacity BUT....... This nurse wrote me off as "hypertensive".... and was pretty damn rude into the bargain..I threw her out of the hose and told her DON`T RETURN..
We are all humane and can all be wrong... but it is your health, so, shout if you have too to get the treatment you deserve (medical help) and respect!!!
Awful for you. We all know deep down if we did something that MAY have caused illness- it doesn't need to be put in our faces. Yes, put in a complaint- that nurse needs to go on a course to update her patient relationship skills. 0n the other hand I experienced the opposite when seeing one of our practice doctors- unfortunately my blood sugar test showed a rise to more than what it has been in over a year and it was a bad time to tell me this and of course due to lack of sleep and stress I burst into tears only to be consoled and given a tissue. Is there another nurse at the practice that you could see instead? If you are happy with the doctors themselves then maybe file a complaint and see how it goes. Take care. x
I don't know how old you are Emily but I was born in the 40s when everybody smoked!! It was encouraged and seen to be "Cool". No one told us it was harmful? Unbelievable now but I was pregnant in the sixties and ashtrays were provided at the ante natal clinic!!.I gave up in the early 80s when the dangers were more apparent. Instead of blaming us they should be angry with the tobacco barons for the harm done to us.
're the nasty nurse!! Last year ,the male nurse doing my lung function test wound me up so much that I had a panic attack. Needless to say,the results weren't good and I came out of there feeling totally depressed. What a difference six months later,my test was done by a lovely lady who made me feel instantly calm.My results were much improved. I hope you feel better now.xx
As in all things in life there are good and bad. Sadly it would seem you got the bad nurse. Personally I would make the complaint and wait for a response. Look carefully before moving as at times it can be jumping from the frying pan to the fire. I have not got a great opinion of the nurse at my local centre but the doctors are very good. The way I see it is I only see her once a year so it's not a problem.
Hey Emily! You really need to take yourself in hand here as YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME!! You have to believe this. Read all the good advice and comments above. My heart aches for you when we see you progressing so much both in your awareness and your management of the condition only to be destablised by one idiot nurse who doesnt know what she is talking about.
It has been pointed out above that copd is not only caused by smoking but also by environment, occupational and genetic factors. But has anyone told you that only 20% of smokers get copd - even many very heavy smokers dont get it? Or that 20% of those with copd have never smoked? It really is that random so it's not only unfair but also hugely ignorant for medics to make those kind of remarks.
So by all means rage or cry against the unfairness of your being one of the unfortunate 20% who have got this condition - that's part of coming to terms with it and even grieving for change in your health situation. But try to hang on to some pleasure and self-esteem for the wonderful way you have been learning to cope.
And remember to repeat every day: I AM NOT TO BLAME!!! xx
As if it’s not bad enough having to have all these tests to gain an outcome you are as unlucky enough to have a bigoted excuse for a nurse. For goodness sake it sounds like she was admonishing you for having smoked and tell me who on here hasn’t but a few. Put your complaint in if only to highlight the shoddy treatment from a professional who damn well should know better. Big hugs 💕💕 Julie
I am so sorry you were treated this way. Don't fret over this rude nurse because people who never smoked have COPD also. It is caused by much more than smoking, although they say smoking is the major cause. I have it myself BTW and yes, I smoked. I had bronchial asthma (caused by multiple allergies) for years but never knew it u until I had many tests done at age 31. Hopefully you will find a great Dr. who will help you treat this. I wish you the best.
Aww Emily61 how dare she? Who the hell does she think she is to say anything like that to you? .. yes report her before you leave to as many people as you can .. this is not your fault .. xx
The nurse who administered my pulmonary function testing said "did you think you weren't going to have to pay for smoking those things?" - I burst into tears right there. And I had quit fifteen years before diagnosis. I am sure it effected the rest of my testing. There are a lot of conditions impacted/caused by lifestyle choices but it does seem to me that COPD sufferers are made to feel bad by many health professionals. They need some compassion training! On the other hand, the nurses I met in pulmonary rehab were wonderful and completely non judgmental. I am so sorry this happened to you - that was an unprofessional nurse.
It might be better to calm down and reflect before putting in a complaint or changing GP. The nurse in question was wrong to be so blunt and judgemental. She could perhaps benefit by further training because she needs to understand that not all obstructive pulmonary disease is caused by smoke related bronchitis/emphysema. This is the problem with the COPD label.
IIRC your primary diagnosis is asthma. Have you been told that you also have emphysema? If not then your COPD element is perhaps caused by the asthma. Of course smoking is particularly bad for asthmatics.
In the past when I have taken OH to doctors who don’t know him they have said judgemental things about him smoking but I have been quick to reply that he hasn’t smoked for more than forty years and his lung disease is asthma/bronchiectasis and is not smoke related. Only a week or so ago we had workmen in and they asked if he smoked. I trotted out the usual explanation.
I only tell you this because there is a lot of ignorance about respiratory illnesses, many people making the assumption that it is always caused by smoking. Some people have emphysema caused by Alpha-1-antitrypsin deficiency and have never smoked. There are other non smoke related lung diseases. I think you have to learn to shrug it off or be willing to educate folk. As has been said, many people have engaged in some sort of high risk behaviour in their life so don’t let anyone put you down.
I hear what you are saying but no I do not feel i should be educating some one who should be educating me..I have asthma I know that much..my consultant is doing further test to establish my status she refused to even hear what I had to say.
Emily61 - it is your choice how to deal with this but IMHO you really need to calm down about it. Spending all day in tears is an over reaction to someone’s ill-judged comment. You have a lot going on at the moment and are struggling to come to terms with, and to understand your illness. I wonder if it is anxiety that has fuelled your response.
In being a carer, I too have had issues with staff which have upset me greatly, most recently being just this week. I don’t think it’s worth dwelling on - there are more important things to be getting on with. Save your energy to look after yourself and your family.
I just think that these people are ignorant, uncaring and in some cases lazy. Sometimes what goes around comes around and they might well find themselves in a similar situation.
You can certainly complain to the practice manager if you feel it will help. I (justifiably) complained in the past and it helped in that I had my say but in the long term I suspect (and cannot prove) that it actually had a deleterious effect. At the time I was angry and very upset. I don’t forget it but have had to put it behind me. The person was at fault and the manager who handled it confirmed this. The consultant agreed but she said that this was just one person and she was right of course.
Written complaints are best because they are supposed to respond. However, it might be on your record unless you request it is not put on there.
If you are happy with your GP side of things, I would speak to the practice manager regarding that particular nurse's manner. You should not leave due the the attitude of an idiot. She should be reminded that years ago, non smokers were in the minority and patients even smoked in the GP's surgery waiting room and mostly so did the doctor when you saw one. I often see uniformed hospital staff smoking outside the entrances to the hospital I attend, including the A & E department even now.
Practice respiratory nurses are not Nurse Specialists, they, normally work in hospitals. The GP Practice ones are mostly ordinary nurses who are sadly quite ignorant of respiratory diseases and have simply received training into telling patients how to blow into the machine and often cannot decipher the results themselves. I would not leave due to the attitude of a Practice employee, I would personally speak to the Practice Manager in a polite way regarding this particular offensive and rather stupid nurse.
All the best Emily,
John.
Oh emily61 how horrible for you. I'm having bad anxiety /panic attacks and if it wasn't for the support I've had from the kindest people I have ever met in this site I would be a mess all the time. I smoked as well but no one should be treated like the nurse did with you.. I agree with Jones try the practice manager if your happy with your dr. Good dr's are hard to come by. It's the first time I've read one of your posts and really glad to meet you. You take care and fight fight fight . Stay positive M x
Most people with health problems could possibly be blamed for something they did in the past that may have contributed to their condition. We have the heavy drinkers who have liver and brain damage, there are the diabetics and obese who may have eaten too much, drug addicts who may get hepatitis, there are some who get STDs, there are many things that can perhaps contribute to bad health.
Health professionals are there to treat and help us and certainly should not be judging us.
Don't let them get to you, you have everyone here on your side.
Cheeky mare, bet she isnT old enough to remember going into the consulting room and seeing the doctor whilst his cigarette sat, alight, in the ash tray. Complain about her attitude. I read somwhere recently that people who complain get better treatment!
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