desperate and depressed copd

[tdboi77]

became extremely depressed last week on going to the doc and him saying i have copd at nearly 41, Im from Nz we really dont have any forums local like this, feelings guilt, fear, anger, i have two beautiful daughters, 16 and 10, in just so gutted at the moment, how have people coped and recovered from the shock and depression, how long did it take seems the depression is pulling me down more than the diagnosis.

[Usgang]

Hi hun welcome to the forum, I am 46 and have been diagnosed with copd, asthma, bronchiectasis and now heart problems. My first time being diagnosed I was in shock, then went through all the denial thinking the Dr's must all be wrong. Then went through the fear, sadness, angry every emotion I could think of. I have 6 beautiful children (3 of each) ranging from 21 down to 10. I sat there sometimes and cried looking at my kids thinking silly things like will I see my youngest get married have kids etc etc. Then pulled myself through it with the help of my family and this forum. Yes I still get upset depressed and worried but like my mom says brush yourself down and start again! I know that's easier said than done at the moment but you will feel better. Depression does seem to go in hand with copd I'm afraid. All I can say is don't dwell on things you cannot change, it will take time but look you haven't been given a death sentence yes we have copd but you CAN still live a happy and filled life, but that is up to you. Give up smoking ( I admit I haven't 🙄) healthy eating gentle exercise and taking your medication and keeping on top of exasberations staying away from people with colds/flu etc etc all does really help. I am in no doubt someone with more experience will be along to give some perfect advice, as they all have done for my posts on this forum, sending you hugs, and if anything I can do just shout, take care god bless xx

[tdboi77 in reply to Usgang]

thanks for your caring words

[O2Trees]

Welcome tdboi77 - no wonder you are depressed, it's a dreadful shock to get this diagnosis and I'd say that most people react the way you are at present. I certainly was and all sorts of other emotions and obsessions, guilt about how it had happened, how Id allowed it to happen etc.

This will pass but it's important to take control of your situation and your life generally. This will get you through. When you feel up to it, you need to learn as much as possible about how to live well with copd. A good diet, exercise - pulmonary rehabilitation if you have it in NZ. Keep away from people with infections - hard I know when you have children but they are old enough to understand about regularly washing their hands when they return home which of course you should do too. General stuff about infection control, keeping away from pollution like car exhausts, cigarette smoke (hope you've given up if you do smoke). The less infections you have, and the more exercise you can take, the slower progression will be. Copd is not a death sentence but you will need to learn to be your own advocate and be assertive about what your needs are. Educating friends and family is important and their support for you is essential - sometimes it's hard for those we love to understand as often we don't look ill.

Roey's point is important - have you had spirometry (lung function) tests? Doctors can indeed jump to conclusions with patients who are breathless. You could also ask for an Alpha-1 blood test - this is a genetic deficiency which can cause copd and sometimes explains why younger people get it.

As I said above, being in control has made me able to live with it. I was diagnosed at the moderate stage 18 years ago and despite occasional flare-ups am doing ok. I do all the things most people do but a bit slower. Keep coming on the forum and ask any questions you need to. Look forward to seeing more of your posts. Take care,

[tdboi77 in reply to O2Trees]

ive given away the smokes , and am of the last week dragging myself out for 30min walks around the hills, and looking to drops some weight as am overweight , also adjusting my diet, just need to fix my head seems to be the worst thing of all, thanks for the great advice

[peege]

Well, I can't add more to O2Trees excellent reply to you except a warm welcome to the wonderful BLF patients forum. Knowledge is the key, any questions you have just write in the search bar above right and lots of old posts with replies will come up or simply do a new post.

We all have different lung conditions here, I have late onset asthma, on first getting in to difficulties I was investigated for aspergillosis and bronchiectasis. Luckily there's no aspergillis in my lungs.

If you've never smoked then as O2 suggests, ask for the Alpha 1 deficiency test - a simple blood test. There's so much you can do to stay healthy so please don't despair, medics don't always get it right first time so be patient and good to yourself. P

[Linnie13]

Hi , I don't have copd ,I have hypersensitivity pnuemotitious ,causeing fiberous tissue in lung .im on oxygen when mobile , I have never smoked and get very angry over it , but I'm not letting it beat me ,so don't give , I have a friend with copd , she has had it for years she still works goes out socialising and unfortunatley hasn't managed to give up smoking , but I understand you feeling down good luck

[Shazza59]

Very good advice from all above. I was diagnosed 5 months ago with COPD and have three daughters aged 13, 12 and 10 and went through the same emotions as you are now. I have the odd moan now but doing ok and have accepted it more. I don’t do vigorous exercise but try to walk when can and get in the odd swim. Try not to waste energy focusing on it as it can become an obsession, it did for me for the first few months. Enjoy your children, you will see them grow and get to meet your grandchildren. Take care of yourself, Sharon

[O2Trees in reply to Shazza59]

I wonder if it's inevitable that we have to go through the obsession and negative feelings Sharon. We are going through mourning the loss of our healthy lungs, and loss of what we used to take for granted. Having said that, we get through it and life can still be good, just a bit different. And providing the kind of information in these replies helps. There was no forum when I was diagnosed and I wish I could have had these replies back then!

[Shazza59 in reply to O2Trees]

I agree O2, as well as mourning the loss of our healthy lungs we have to come to terms with what we have being incurable but as you say we can still lead a good life and enjoy what we’ve got. I am being positive now and trying to ‘live in the present’. This forum is invaluable and the people so reassuring most of the time. I think we will all keep one another going for a very long time. 😊 Sharon.

[O2Trees in reply to Shazza59]

Lovely reply

[SquirrelsHolt in reply to O2Trees]

OMG, wouldn't it have been great to know everything we've learnt from this forum, years ago! At least all our comments are now out in cyber space forever,for those that may be diagnosed with COPD and alike.

[O2Trees in reply to SquirrelsHolt]

Dead right SH!

[tdboi77 in reply to Shazza59]

thanks shazza for those supportive words

[hypercat54]

Hi much depends on what stage you are at. If the early stages then leading a healthy lifestyle will give you every chance of holding it stable. I was diagnosed mild 10 years ago and am still mild and fully expect to die of old age before the copd gets me!

You do need to pack in the ciggies though as otherwise you run the risk of massively accelerating the disease. There is a very good quit site on here and I gave up with their help. x

[tdboi77 in reply to hypercat54]

thanks for the words of encouragement

[Stumpy55]

Hello tdboi77, in answer to your question, how do people manage and cope, and cope with the depression of copd. Well we do because we have to , and move on or just crumble. It's not easy or straight forward but necessary .

[Stumpy55 in reply to Stumpy55]

Sorry I didn't finish what I was trying to say. At first it is a shock and you are left wandering what do I do now and why me. I think we all go through this stage at the very beginning, but as you move forward and learn about various ways of coping, you realise it's not the end of the world, it's a condition that we grow with. Please stay calm and focus on living each day as it comes along and try to put all negativity to the back of your mind. I have very severe Emphaseama, very severe bronchiectusis and 13% lung capacity but I won't give up I'm too dam stubborn, and I want to live. Please take care and live your life to the full. We are all here for each other on this site. ✋️😉xx

[tdboi77 in reply to Stumpy55]

thankyou for your insight and the warm welcome

[Karenblue in reply to Stumpy55]

Hi stumpy how is ur breathing can u do things

[Stumpy55 in reply to Karenblue]

I can't do much Karenblue, because of my energy levels. I get breathless just doing miner things but my husband and nurses are very supportive so I'm very lucky. I hope you are keeping well? ✋️😉xx

[Ergendl]

Try joining a singing group or choir. Singing exercises the lungs and trains the muscles to help you make the best of the lung capacity you still have. Singing also releases the natural feel-good endorphins in your body and makes you feel happier and more energised after. All the best.

[Kristicats in reply to Ergendl]

Yes I agree. I’m part of a Rock Choir (1 in most areas now in uk) and I know it helps my lungs, is fun and uplifting.