Crybaby

[nightshade58]

Just diagnosed Monday with copd and haven't been able to stop crying and I'm not a cryer. I've quit smoking, wondering if meds might be causing it. Any Input? I can't stand to be around myself even.

[Hidden]

Hello Nightshade, and a big welcome to our site.

Are you finding it difficult to accept you have been diagnosed, or do you think there may be another reason?  It's certainly not the end of the world you know, and on here there are many others with copd who are happy to talk things over with you and give you great advice.  Don't feel alone - you will just have to make some adjustments, keep exercised, eat good stuff, and that does not mean good in the way of a mountain of chocolate, but what is good for your body - and try your best to keep away from anyone with an infection.  There - that is not hard is it? Ask the surgery if you can go on a Pulmonary Rehabilitation course - they are brilliant. Remember your crying doesn't solve anything and you don't want to upset your family who will already be anxious for you. . Be positive - look after yourself and there is help in every direction on here. and very well done for quitting the cigarettes. That is your first step and the best thing you have done. 

Jennifer 

xx

[Hidden]

If you have just quite smoking your lungs will start cleaning them self and that could be making you feel worse ... But am sure you have done right thing and am sure things will get better.

[kimmy59]

Welcome.

You will feel a bit shell shocked at first. Once you get your condition under control with your medication healthy diet and exercise you'll feel better. You can live quite normally really.

Kim xxx

[Hidden]

You will be tempted every now and then to have a smoke....just one or two..or even three a day.....that addiction we had for 30..40..50 years will never stop looking to get back into your lungs and then up into your pleasure  brain cells. 

Stopping smoking is the only thing that has been proven show down the progress of COPD and returned the lungs to decline with age with that of a non smoker. .

Exercise and a healthy diet is a must..with or without COPD.

As for crying. ..it just tells me that your human with hopes  fears and feelings....nothing wrong in been that. 

Once you found your way on this site you will find some genuine people that will do all thay can to help you..

Your very early in your diagnosis...just post whatever answers  you need to know to put your mind at ease.

Take care.

Andy.

[Titchy52]

nightshade58  welcome to the site you've had a shock I got very depressed when I was diagnosed perhaps you need to go back and have a chat with your doctor about how your feeling best wishes x

[Hidden]

Hi Nightshade and welcome,

I was a bit like you when I was diagnosed 5 years ago. The only time I had heard mention of COPD was on my fathers death certificate so of course that was me on way out. Now, I come from a little town in Scotland and when I started telling my friends I had COPD I was amazed to find most of them had it as well. The clinic we all go to up here is known as the asthma clinic so although I knew a lot of them attended for breathing difficulties I just presumed they had asthma, so please don't feel as though you're alone in this and don't feel guilty. We all make bad choices in life some we get away with others we don't but as long as you can accept the hand you're dealt you will get along just fine. You've already made a grand leap forward with giving up smoking so get your meds sorted out, add a wee bit of exercise in to you're daily routine, attend the clinic when you're supposed to, eat heathy, put you're Happy Hat on and away you go. Oh and by the way if you are having any problems with giving up smoking go onto the no smoking section on here, you will find some lovely people who are only to willing to lend an ear and give you tips on how to get through hard times. Leaving you in love and light and wishing you well .

  

[fcag2001]

Don't beat yourself up. You are in the position  of grieving  for something that you feel you have lost namely good lung health . In time and once you have come to terms with your COPD then things will begin to improve if you follow the medical advice and read happily what lots of folk say on this site . There are many people here very willing to give you support so be glad to have joined them. Life can go on just have to watch where your  go  and try to stay  away from big crowds. My doc said try and get shopping done in the morning before the  shops fill up with people full of germs etc . Try and take a walk every day and don't get too stressed about things which are not important .I find stress makes my lungs heat up and so this is not a good thing. Be kind to yourself you will find a way through this difficult time of early diagnosis. Make sure you get some respiratory Physio help either ask GP and or hospital. Take care.

[sassy59]

Welcome nightshade you have come to the right place. Xxx 

[nightshade58]

Thanks for all the great replies! I am grateful for my son's to help me out, but I'm driving them crazy. I can't help how I feel and right now I'm feeling very unworthy. They feel I need to buck up and shut up. Just can't seem to do it although I'm really trying. Can't seem to shake the depression and anxiety. I know I'm hurting the ones I love but I feel powerless to stop my behaviour. Now what?

[punkyb in reply to nightshade58]

I think it is just fine to cry. I mean think of it this way you said goodbye to an old habit ( smoking) which causes grief and loss and you found you have an illness. Both tough things to go through. Give thyself a break...Hugs

[Hidden in reply to nightshade58]

If your son's are saying things like that..it could be that they cannot handle the situation they are in now and in the short term it's unlikely that they will...

You do need to take control of your life again as soon as possible. .

Phone your doctor's surgery and ask to speak to your doctor as a matter  of urgency....and that you need some sort of medication to help you calm down...if you where my mum I would be making the phone call for you....but I don't think you'd would be wanting to be my mum...am 65 years old.☺

 most people are diagnosed when they are in mild or moderate COPD. But even if severe it's still not the end of the world. ...it just feels like it...for now that is...it will pass just like it has for all of a US.

My children have a very good reason for not understanding..they are 11..6 and 4 years old and one is 6 months old.

I still have the odd day when my eyes get a bit watery.

Take care.

Andy xx.

[punkyb]

I cried too! It is a lot to take in and a big change. Talk talk talk and let it out is what I say! people here listen ...

[diesel12]

Hi, I was only diagnosed in February and it was like someone had pulled the rug from under my feet. What's happening to you happens to us all in one way or another, Fcag2001 is right you are going through the grieving process, it certainly happened to me too. I was frightened and thought my life was pretty much over then I found this site and realised how wrong I was. It isn't over, you've just started another chapter.

In some ways I'm in a better place now than I was a year ago. I now know why I'm short of breath and I have inhalers to help with that, I get chest infections but I did before I was told I have copd so nothing has really changed for me there. What has changed is that I now exercise and eat much better so I actually feel better than I did before so for me that's a positive outcome.

Someone on here told me that you can still do whatever you want, just slower. I still work full time, go to gigs and generally make sure I have some fun in my life.

Cut yourself some slack,, get upset and then stick a smile on your face and go do something you enjoy then come on here and have a good moan, we all do.

If you have any questions, ask away they are brilliant on here and will help answer stuff and support you when you feel down.

You say you feel unworthy, of what? Of their support and concern? Didn't you love and support them when they were growing up? Wouldn't you support them now if they became ill? They are just returning the favour, of course they are concerned, you're their parent and they're used to you being their rock but it will get better, honestly.

What is it you are frightened of? I thought it meant I would be dead really soon, I was wrong. Talk to the others on here and you'll find you'll be around for a long time yet, you just need to make sure you get healthy by exercising, eating well and the biggest one stopping smoking (well done for that).

Blimey, I've rambled on but remember, you have COPD it doesn't have you.

loads of hugs

Shelagh xxx

[Debbieolds57 in reply to diesel12]

Is stage 4 diagnosis a death sentence? That's what I am. 24/7 oxygen and I'm not hearing from people on 24/7 oxygen. I'm newly diagnosed. I don't even get to see the pulmonary dr until May 26 so I feel like I just flapping  in the wind. I don't know what I am & am not supposed to eat. I don't know about excercise. I don't know much .,was released from hospital on March 12 with this diagnosis. Haven't spoken to dr since.

My depression is bad and I too cry a lot. Scared I'm leaving my family within couple of years 

[diesel12 in reply to Debbieolds57]

lots of folk on here with very severe (I assume stage 4) who use oxygen but I'm not sure if it 24/7. Exercise is anything you can do, walking etc. I know the guys on here often refer to finding exercises including breathing exercises on youtube so that might be a starting point. I use the pursed lip breathing when I'm short of breath and I'm sure that is on there.

Of course you're depressed, it's scary being told stuff like that but a lot of the guys on here have lived with copd for years so don't despair. I was reading something on here earlier saying they had cut usage of their oxygen down so there may be ways of improving things for you.

There will be someone along soon who will be able to help you more than me but just understand you are not alone and you will find tons of support and information on here. If you have specific questions you could click on the balloon above and get through to the helpline.

Bless you and we are all here to offer support and advice my love.

take care xxx

[Dedalus]

I can't add to the great advice above nightshade - the diagnosis is a shock but it's definitely not a death sentence & I know you'll come to terms with it soon & feel better. Welcome to the group x

[btown]

Hi Nightshade, when I was diagnosed with COPD 2 years ago I was devastated, but all is not lost you have come to the right place, there is a vast amount of knowledge on here and extremely helpful and nice people.What meds have you been given? What is your FEV I, there is life with COPD you have to accept it and look after yourself and there is no reason you can't lead a relatively normal life, I gave up smoking using a vape electronic cigarette and my doctor and consultant had no problem with it, it helped brake the habit, now as long as I take my meds I lead a pretty normal life, yes I do have down days but not that many anymore. You just need to come to terms with it and believe me I know that's not easy but in time you will, please keep in contact with us on this site and all the help and advice is here for you to tap into, this site was my only contact and the people here were so helpful and supportive when I needed it most.

Trevor xx

[Sherry44]

I was diagnosed with COPD four years ago and felt I must be on the way out.  Here I am still going strong and leading as normal a life as possible.  You learn to live with this illness which can be very much controlled with medication.  Some days you feel quite normal - others you have to push yourself to get going..  Try and avoid stress if you can and if you are able to, have the anti-flu jab.  It has helped me avoid infections through the winter months.

All the best

[Lolly2]

Hi Nightshade,

You have made two huge changes to your life all at once:  1.  You quit smoking...gave up a drug as strong as heroin.  2.  You have to accept that you have a serious respiratory disease.  When we quit smoking, there are many processes to go through, one of which is grieving...yes, just as if someone close to us had died.  Coming at the same time as you finding you have COPD, you have the 'blame scenario'  Why did I smoke?  Blaming yourself...all of these things would lead anyone to cry.

Try to get your family to understand that you have very low self-esteem right now, and that your are grieving for your close friend 'Nicodemon.'  Read all you can on this site and take heart at what we all describe......there is life after diagnosis!

Hard as it is, try to find anything positive and hang on to it!  Try to follow all the great advice given to you on here.  If I continue, I will just repeat things others have said.

Thinking of you.  Lolly.

[barbs47]

Welcome to the site. Lots of help, answers and support here we will all do everything we can to help you. We have all been where you are at the moment so totally understand. xx

[Magpuss]

Sometimes it's good to cry, it gets rid of all the tension if you've had a shock, and you've had a shock. Don't beat yourself up for crying or for having COPD, and don't think less of yourself for having been a smoker. We're not perfect, we all do things that we'd be better off, not doing - (that extra portion of pudding, that lovely top we don't need and can't really afford) we're human beings, not robots - or super heroes. So, now you're an ex smoker that's brilliant! To begin with its not going to be easy, it never is, but it's easier than continuing to smoke and then hating yourself for it. You've done yourself an enormous favour in stopping, so give yourself credit for that. You'll probably get a persistent cough and feel worse than when you were smoking but that's just your body clearing out all the gunk left by the nicotine. It might take a while before you feel any real benefit from quitting smoking but it will happen, and in the meantime you know that you're doing yourself a huge favour. Oh, and you'll have some extra cash now you've stopped smoking, don't  just let it go towards the housekeeping - it's your reward for doing the right thing and you've earned it, so save it for when you feel like treating yourself or, if it pleases you to treat others use it for that. Just remember it's for whatever gives you the most pleasure. If you feel like crying, then allow yourself to have a little cry in private and if you don't want to keep on crying 'actively' look for something that makes you laugh. A good comedy, or even animal antics on YouTube usually does it for me! Wishing you the very best of luck xx

[rubyred777]

Hi nightshade.                                                Welcome to the best site ever! What brilliant replies you have gotten. Theres not much I can possibly add. There are many old-timers on here, that have had copd for many years. You've got to feel better reading these replies. I do myself! These good members, do the forum proud!  Please ask any questions you may have.😊 We're all here to help you. 😊 Rubyxx 😊

[Debbieolds57]

I can sure relate to you. I was just diagnosed stage 4 COPD . Trying to get out of my depression. Constantly crying. Can't even imagine posting " had a good day" 

It's awful and  I feel your pain 

[Hidden]

Hi ns well you are entitled to cry as much as you want to as it's awful to be diagnosed with a chronic condition like copd.  

When you stop crying you will gradually learn to deal with it as we all have to in the end.   It's not the end of the world and there is lots of life left after diagnosis you know.   The most important thing is to manage it and not let it manage you.  Add an 'e' to copd and it becomes COPED.  

You are in the right place to get help,  advice and support so stick with us and we will do what we can for you.   Welcome.  x 

[Nottobad]

Hi you have had some good replays. I would go and talk to your GP about the way you are feeling and he might give you something to cope. I finally plucked up the courage to speak to my GP on how I was feeling due to having 2 chronic illnesses and was prescribed antidepressants. Don't think any less of your self for going down this road some people need more help than others take care x

[millerag75]

It's okay to be shocked and scared. Honestly you will get used to it. It can be managed, your life wont be the same again but just take care of yourself.  Everyone on this site can help you and you always can vent on here. Much Love!

[Hidden]

Stop crying. It's not nearly as bad as You've led Yourself to believe. The worse that will happen over the next several years is You'll have to slow down. Oh and You might gain weight. Stop crying and learn to live with it. The fact that it's a disease doesn't make it life threatening it just means there's no cure for it. I was diagnosed in 2009, I'm fine.

[onamission]

I think we can all remember being diagnosed none of us thought it would happen to us as we lit up our cigarettes.

I came out of the GP practice thinking my life had ended went home drank half a bottle of wine and the next day got up and made a plan.

I gave up smoking with the help of champix put on weight, then I started to swim can't exercise on land. Lost the weight still go swimming have my flu jab got my emergency meds at home and now I have come to terms with it and have been on a PR course can deal with this condition.

We are all in the same boat and support each other welcome   

[FarmerD]

Hello,I find lack of sleep makes me very " blubby " and I,m a bloke .Being told we have an incurable ,chronic condition is bound to have an affect,try to relax,crying is,nt bad for you.Regards D. 🌷