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Thanks Mum & Dad

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MOST OF 40+ GENERATION WAS HOME SCHOOLED IN MANY WAYS.

1. MY MOTHER taught me to appreciate a job well done;..... " If your going to kill each other , do it outside. I have just finished cleaning"

2. MY MOTHER taught me religion......... " You better pray that comes out the carpet !! "

3. MY FATHER taught me time travel....... " If you dont strighten up, Im going to knock you into the middle of next week.!!

4. MY FATHER taught me logic..... " if you fall out of that swing and breake your neck, your not going to the store with me !!

5. MY MOTHER taught me more logic.. " Because I said so thats why !!

6. MY FATHER taught me irony....... " Keep crying and I'll give you somthing to cry about " !!

7. MY MOTHER taught me about the science of osmosis...... " Shut your mouth and get your supper " !!

8. MY MOTHER taught me contortionism.... "Just look at the dirt on the back of your neck "!!

9. MY MOTHER taught me Stamina.... " You can sit there until all that spinach is gone "!!

10. MY MOTHER taught me about weather....."This room looks like a Tornado went through it "!!

11. MY FATHER taught me the circle of life ".... I brought you into this world and I can take you out."!!

12. MY MOTHER taught me about Behavior amaodification....... "Stop acting like your father"!!!

13. MY MOTHER taught me about Envy......." There are millions of less fortunate children in this world , who dont have wonderful parents like you do"!!

14. MY MOTHER taught me Antcipation......" Just wait till we get home "!!!

15. MY MOTHER taught me about recieving..... Your going to get it from your father when yo get home "!!!

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21 Replies
huggs profile image
huggs

Hi malk,

That is hilarious. Love them, and thank you for giving me a laugh. :) :)

hugs from Huggs xxxx

in reply tohuggs

BET YOU REMEMBER THEM AS WELL hUGGS !!

huggs profile image
huggs in reply to

Hi Malk,

I certainly do!! I have a serious neck problem at the moment, which is not really curable, just to be managed, and I am wondering if number 8 lesson was the cause. lol

They really are good Malk. I will copy them and share them around. Thanks again.

hugs from Huggs :) xxxx

in reply tohuggs

your very welcome Huggs. Malk.

huggs profile image
huggs in reply to

I have just re-read them again, and I still had a good giggle, they really take me back. I wonder who made them up? They are soooo good. lol

hugs from Huggs xxxx :) :)

in reply to

My dad was a keen gardner. use to say . " look at them ears you could set potatoes in them "

take car Malk.

in reply to

No dont take car. take care.

RibvanRey profile image
RibvanRey

Oh you took me right back. Except I never went to a store. We went to shops. lol.

DozyDormouse profile image
DozyDormouse

My favourite was

you're both getting a smack because then I know I've got the right one.

where's the fairness in that?

in reply toDozyDormouse

Your MOTHER WAS TEACHING YOU HOW TO SHARE. !!! dOORMOUSE

DozyDormouse profile image
DozyDormouse

My favourite was

you're both getting a smack because then I know I've got the right one.

where's the fairness in that?

Very good. My mother taught me science as well - 'You can't have a bath now I have just turned the washing machine on' :) x

in reply to

( First class.) keeps the brain active thing them up !!

so funny loved it. Joyce

Nikkers profile image
Nikkers

Great stuff and so funny, although it was said with some seriousness at the time. Another one was (when you were older) "If God meant you to smoke, you'd have been born with a chimney on your head!"

in reply toNikkers

Not heard that one before Nikkers !!! Ups !

Offcut profile image
Offcut

So true and when you have your own it is said all over again! Even though you have said I will not say that to my children?

ginachron profile image
ginachron

That took me back! X

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123

really good malk, :) i remember them all,:D i've still got the scars to prove it :D ,, when you read them,their very funny, but actually true :D all the best malk,, jimmy :D

in reply tojimmyw123

Same to you jimmy . ARE You looking forward to Christmas, or is it still the EW YEAR with you, was married to a scottish girl at one time, come to think of it jimmy between the three wifes , I should get in the EU easy. ENGLISH / SCOTTISH / AND BOTSWANA. Malk.

jimmyw123 profile image
jimmyw123 in reply to

hi malk, now malk theres no good in getting greedy :D

yes you would get in the EU very easy lol, :D

i,ll probably have xmas dinner at my sisters, but new years about played out here now,,, apart from the young ones at the big new year party,, think ill just "await the bells " a few phone calls, then kip lol,,, jimmy :)

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