Being scared.

[eightyplus]

A few decades ago I was standing at the bow of a tramp steamer in the middle of the Indian Ocean when suddenly I found myself being lulled into a trance like state by the rhythmic thud of the engines and the hiss of the bow cutting through the mirror calm sea.

The serenity and pureness of that moment was magical, for one brief moment in time all of the questions that I had ever wanted to ask were answered and then swift as any shadow the moment was gone.

To this day I don't know what those questions were or their answers, but I do know that I had been privileged and in that one moment I had been gifted with an abundance of knowledge and hope that would remain with me for the rest of my life.

I am not a religious man nor am I hedging my bets to get a good seat on the other side, but hard boiled as I am I will never forget that wonderful moment and the knowledge that the time will come to pass when we will all hang on to that last thread of life with passion, it is the only one that we are going to have and every moment spent with our loved ones is a bonus for us and our over worked hearts and damaged lungs to share and enjoy..

Happily I feel now there has to be more than this one journey in life . . . . . . I felt something that I could not explain on that day all those years ago and with that knowledge I simply have to keep remembering and sharing so that others like myself will perhaps not be so scared of the future anymore.

[newlands]

Hello eightyplus, i love what you have put into words ,but have to admit i am afraid of dying ,i would really love to go to sleep when the time comes and not wake up ,but then it wouldn't be very nice for the person that found me.

take care love Dorothy xxx

[stilltruckin]

silentawareness.org/teachin...

[eightyplus in reply to stilltruckin]

Thank you for this, I'm off for my nap but will study in a little more detail later.

[whit]

i served as an engineer for many years on oil tankers ,i used to go and stand at the bows many times ,and as you say it is a very calming experience ,difficult to describe ,you need to actually do it

[stilltruckin]

“At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;

Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,

But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,

Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,

Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,

There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”

― T.S. Eliot

[Mavary]

Hi Eighty plus. I had a similar experience when I was about nine years old. I think everyone is afraid to die it is natural. I'm just afraid I will suffer. I don't think actually dying worries me. I have always held on to my early experience. I think it made me a better person.

[jools]

Hi Eighty plus, I enjoyed reading your post - serene but thought provoking. For me illness brings the realisation that we are here for such a short time and has given me the freedom to wring every last moment of happiness and joy from the time spent with my family, maybe I should have said permission rather than freedom as it has made me see that worrying about money, jobs, bills etc. won't change anything therefore I should stop chasing my tail, slow down and spend time with my husband, grandchildren, enjoy every single moment . I am not frightened of death but am of the dying. my ego is more frightened of death - the idea that the world will just carry on as normal but without me in it......but I too believe that we have more than one journey to make though please, not just yet.

[eightyplus in reply to jools]

How right you are jools, our ego and the dying part annoys me as well as the fact I might miss the final episode in a TV thriller that I have been following.

Continue to enjoy it to the full, I know that I shall.

[KingoftheCocktails]

I am a believer

KOTC

[ptliverpool]

I used to be, but I don't think I am any more.

[Raven1937]

Very encouraging and uplifting. I have been thinking too much on my dying and not enough on living my life and being thankful for my many blessings. Hugs to you for posting. Raven1937