About a hundred years ago!my husband and I were going to The New London Theatre to see a show which was going to be televised.For the life of me I cant even remember what the show was? I only remember 'the moment' I do remember that royals would be attending,red carpet laid everywhere oooer!
I was really looking forward to the occasion.Before the show we went to a bar across the road from the theatre to grab a bite to eat.I was dressed in a maroon fine crepe gypsy style dress very floaty little number, my husband wore an obligatory grey suit looking quite debonair ,i can remember thinking 'yes your definitely do bless him'.Well I had the scampi in a basket and Rob (my husband)had the chicken in the basket.I gently reminded him not to have too much too drink as once they went on air nobody would be allowed out for a wee!so I had a wine and lemonade and greedy b------s Rob had 3 pints of lager!!! Not wanting to upset the applecart we were enjoying ourselves after all,but I could feel my jaw grinding furiously at the thought of his weak bladder in the theatre !Why he no wristen to me? MEN!!! "right we had better start making tracks " i said .So we both went and powdered our noses haha! and across the road we went.
Oh my! there were photographers everywhere waiting for the royals to arrive!!! We needed to drop our coats in the cloakroom so i suggested he have another wee and i'd do the coats.With my back to the wall I watched everyone in their refinery and smiled at peoples effort I also looked to see where we needed to go?which was up the escalators and turn right.The foyer was packed with press and officials.Come on Rob where are you time was marching on,. getting a little grr i was?Then he was there and we walked quickly to the escalator,I stepped on first, both feet on and Rob poked me in my back i kinda half turned "what?" i said turning back "Jane your dress is in yer knickers!!" and then giggled.So i ignored him! muttering"yeayea". Then he poked me again a little more insistent this time but laughing as he spoke "you really have im not joking haha" Oh my hes pissed the lagers gone to his head.I turned quickly towards him scowling and said "just belt up will you,your not funny!!!"What I did notice was the noise level had gone up everyone seemed to be laughing then Rob not laughing said"everyones looking at your arse! pleaseee listen to me!" I turned reaching behind with one arm before i felt i saw a sea of smiling teeth twinkling as all the cameras lights flashed .. at my rear end ,my hand then feeling not my dress but my bulging tights that now housed my floaty dress scrunched up inside them!!! Oh my god in a flash my hands groped for my dress yanking my dress out as quick as I could trying not to be too conspicuous ?? Far to late Jane everybody had had a right old birds eye view! I was as red as my dress so very embarrassed !!
Fortunately for me the VIPs arrived and all eyes were off my botty and looking down into the foyer at the very glamorous arrivals phew what luck.When the show finished we went back to the bar where I had copious amounts of alcohol and both of us laughed like drains at my most embarrassing moment! Oh Jane....
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longlungs
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Lol hi bernice its her birthday today,she seems a lot better now she has caught up with her sleep,the crisis has past thank heavens.Still lots for her to get to grips with but defo going in the right direction.Thanx for asking bernice. Janexx
thank u for tellin us,as that's the 1st step on the ladder to recovery,open talk,good ear no pressure,,bernicexx
That was well told, L.L., I felt for you. But what an exciting evening.
I must try and think of some embarrassing moments that I have had. I was staying with my sister in Wash. D.C and sitting in an antique bed, when one of the back legs broke. The following day, I got into sister's car and broke a door handle. There must be something of more dramatic whatsit, in my life. Might come to mind overnight.
Its always awkward when your at somebody elses and something breaks! The host replying "dont worry really accidents happen not a problem?!" Red faces all round eh? Janexx
Hi longlungs, what a relief when the the dignitaries arrived. My kids still talk about my mother coming down the stairs trailing toilet roll behind her like an Andrex puppy, completely unaware what was tucked into her knckers. No one could tell her because we were all screaming with laughter. Alison
An embarrasing moment for me was when I attended my then fiances works Xmas do. Party games were arranged and I was pushed into joining in with a game of musical chairs.. I always seemed to be next to a chair when the music stopped., and won. They made a big thing about presenting me with a prize in full view of everyone including my future mother and father in law. It was a copy of the latest book which was causing a lot of publicity LADY CHATTERLEYS LOVER. My face was crimson. Found out that I had been deliberately set up by one of the managers, My future father in law took the book home and it was some time before I got it back, then my father borrowed it to pass around his mates.
When I was around 25, enjoying life to the full and in the pub every night, I regularly used to loose my bunch of keys. I was locked out of my newly attained flat many times and had to force an entry with a borrowed screwdriver leaving a little gap on the front door closure. I had learned that if I could find a ‘lolly-stick’ and sharpen the tip by scraping it along a brick wall I could then use it to get in. The school-kids used to drop them on the pavement on their way to school.
Anyway, on this occasion I found myself at my front door so reached into my trouser pocket for my keys and found to my horror no keys, no pocket, no trousers, if fact no clothing at all.
It was then I realised that I had been sleep walking, God knows where to at 3am or for how long!
My brain snapped into emergency mode and I realised I needed a lolly-stick and quickly, but the only thing around to cover what was left of my dignity was a tiny front door-mat, not ideal but all that there was.
So there I was, 3 o’clock in the morning, flitting around between the trees and street-lamps trying to keep this little door-mat in position with one hand and searching around the tree bases with the other for a discarded lolly-stick. Try explaining that to a passing policeman !
However the Gods were smiling on me (or at me) that morning, I duly found my lolly-stick after about 5 minutes, sharpened it on the garden wall on the way in and successfully forced an entry.
Lesson learned, I made sure that there was always a collection of lolly-sticks under the little door-mat in future, it never happened again but I often wonder just how many nights I had been wandering around in the buff previously.
Oh my Dukes thats very worrying haha can see you now,I bet your eyes have never searched so avidly lol! Do you still sleep walk? where do you live haha.Janexx
Cant compete with this although I did lose my knickers in the high street, and started to side down my legs. Crept in a corner and removed them.
• in reply to
Remember that feeling when the knicker elastic used to snap especially in public. Joyce
my pleasure,its called hair of the dog,rough night but im standing,1 was down 1 was up and I was up,1 down bless er we let er sleep it of,i am nice arnt I,threw er a bowl ,haha,
er head went in the bowl,i draw the line at somethings uno.she drew the short straw,no food for er,4am we fed er,u see we care,hun,have to have a laugh jane it helps,got the bowl I,,ll hang on 2 it ,might need it for xmas sesh.only got so many bowls so all helps.xxx
you have ate it ,havnt you,no free drinks of me again,i will have chicken and rice,followed by ice cream,and you can whistle,haha sleep and take it easy ,jane xxbernicex
have read that again,contact found,if its free im ok,as long as its wet,haha bernicexx
Oh Jane, how many wines had you had how embarrassing.
one time I was so pie eyed that I had become numb with alcohol and went to the loo, I was in there ages hovering and waiting for my bladder to empty. After about 10 minutes I decided to pay more attention to the sound of water I could hear. It was the water in the cistern making the piddling sound not me ha ha he he LOL wot an irrriot.... I was giggle so loud at myself when I came out of the loo, to a very long queue of ladies standing with crossed legs and gritted teeth but I quickly tried to straighten my face as not one of them looked amused.
haha good calf muscles BC,! Its good to laugh at our selves.I was getting my munchy tray ready for bed and turned thinking my cat had jumped onto the side could hear his purr, no cat so started to completely turn coz i could hear this purring getting louder just before iwas thinking i had a ghost or something there was such a loud purr i stopped breathing and so did the purring haha it was you Jane and giggled all the way to bed. happy days BC Janexx
Yes, I have one too. I had to go to Belgium by the next plane in the afternoon from Liverpool. I had packed consciously everything with the help of some friends. The luggage was sent by train to Belgium and i would pick that later when arriving there. I looked for my Belgian passport ... in my pocket, in my travel bag. Where could it be? I grew quite anxious. Especially when I realized we had packed it and sent it ahead to Belgium!
Oh gosh! I dashed by taxi to the Belgian embassy, told my story to a poised lady. She told me to wait and she would see if the ambassador would be prepared to do me a favour. What if he couldn't? I saw the time ticking, getting near the time I should be in Speke airport, as it was in those days.
The lady came bursting out of the ambassador's office. She had a laissez-passer that guaranteed I was bona fide. wow! No time to go back to say good bye to my friends. I took another taxi to the airport. The custom officer looked cautiously at the paper, but since it had the mark of the ambassador of the Belgian consulate, it was alright.
I jumped on the plane! I was still under shock. In Belgium, they accepted the paper too! Phew! That was an anxious moment!
And yes, I found my passport stuck with other papers in an attaché case which I had sent with the parcel!
Oh helingmic what a hair raising time for you ,id have felt terrified of them saying no ,step over here etc etc .Glad it worked out though,bet your heart was thumping! As you said PHew! Janexx
Oh well done Jane, do you remember those dresses that had the boob tube part at the top covering the bust then the either straight of floaty skirt. I had one, and after an evening out I needed taxi, and leaned across the desk to kiss the operator for finding me a cab, that had not been available for at least two hours, but had suddenly appeared from nowhere, and there I was with my boobs, hanging out the top of the elasticacted boob tube. Such a laugh, untill a few days later and I needed a taxi to take me to work, yeah you guessed the driver was the radio operator from a few night earlier. We all dinned out on that story for many years after, and I continued to use the taxi company, on a regular basis. Even had a best customer discounted account. Still chuckle about it now. June.
Yeah but I never had to wait long for a taxi, just a shame that the boobs have gone a little now, but I'm working on the exercises to improve that, ha ha
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Janexx
lovely story Jane...i love it xox
how embarrassing.
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