Never liked Tescos anyway.....

[hertsguy]

Yesterday I was at my local TESCO’ store

buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout

queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do,

on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn'’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd

lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most

of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works

is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or

two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well

and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in

queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from TESCO’.

[1968]

Nice one, you do know you are barking mad LOL

David

[hertsguy in reply to 1968]

It's only being mad that keeps me sane!!

[helingmic]

Oh I love it! One way to make friends in a store!

[Hidden]

there loss lol,bernice

[Toci]

Thanks, lovely story.

[Hidden]

J bet this bit a few on the bum, well done. Berwick

[Hidden]

Woof! Woof! Liked that tale.

[fishtail]

great story,reminds me of the day my husband accompanied me at our local Tesco's,he was having a "strop"and I told him to "just shut it" a woman nearby kept looking at us so I said to her "its ok I've only got him for a couple of hours he's due back soon.my husband had a hissy fit and I looked at the woman and said "they really shouldnt let him out"she said "I feel awfully sorry for you".when she had gone I was hysterical,my husbands face was purple.ahh happy days.lol.x

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to fishtail]

Poor husband gets it again. Oh deary me!

[Coccobo]

God! That's great, I and my partner having a great laugh after your story I can't not understand why there have you banned in the store!! Not nice but I hope you will still get the dog food some where else

[hertsguy in reply to Coccobo]

Well , I had to give up on the dog biscuit diet as I kept falling off the chair while licking my b**s!!

[KingoftheCocktails]

Did you Winalot of friends in store?

KOTC

[CouncillorB]

I was standing talking to a friend in the street when another woman interupted our conversation by saying " Eeh where has Jenny moved to" My friend answered "shes met a very rich man and they have gone on a luxury cruise before she moves in to his posh house. The woman was gobsmacked and hurried away. I turned to my friend who was in fits of laughter and she said "Jenny has moved to a council bungalow but I wasnt gonna tell her,shes too nosy

[casper99]

Hertsguy, I've just logged in and the first thing I read was this. I'm laughing my head off. Can't wait to tell it everyone tommorow. What a great story. Hahahaha.

Angie. xx.

[maggie44]

What a wonderful story! I must tell my husband. Now we both need to lose some weight - he likes crunchy snacks - I wonder..........

Maggie

[appyalison]

Super story, hertsguy. Thank you for the laugh. Alison

[Hidden]

Great story - you have made my day. Thank you TAD xx

[hertsguy]

Thanks for the replies everyone, glad I could make you laugh for a brief moment.

[sassy59]

Thanks for the laughter hertsguy and keep it up. xx

[frank65]

brilliant

[hufferpuffer]

Haha! nice one, that put a big smile on my face thank you!

[poppyval]

Lol Hilarious. Gotta tell Hubby that one. Cheryl

[junespoon]

That's a good one, X