...................DO YOU MIND.................HEE Hee

[KingoftheCocktails]

............Do you mind

A guy asked a girl in a university library:

''Do you mind if I sit beside you?''

The girl replied in a loud voice:

''NO I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU !''

All the students in the library started staring at the guy;

he was truly embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walks quietly to the guy's table and said,

'' I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed , right?''

The guy then responded in a loud voice,

''£500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH !''

everyone in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy whispered in her ear,

''I study law, and I know how to screw people.''

KOTC

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[appyalison]

Hahaha, some truth in all good humour, King. Alison

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to appyalison]

You are correct there Alison

[Coccobo]

TEE HEE very good lol

I have one too

A doctor and a lawyer are talking at a party. Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asks the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replies the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor is shocked, but agrees to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepares the bills. When he goes to place them in his mailbox, he finds a bill from the lawyer.

[mahunamoon in reply to Coccobo]

LOL

[KingoftheCocktails]

Superb, got any more Coccobo?

KOTC

[Coccobo in reply to KingoftheCocktails]

Sure

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

[newlands]

many years ago my neighbours gave me a lift into town i had to meet them at as certain time as i approached the car they thought they would have some fun she wound the window down and shouted"i have told you to leave my husband alone" the car park was full and i didnt know where to put myself then they started to laugh and let me get into th car whew

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to newlands]

I like it! newlands

[Coccobo]

I have

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um, no." The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Coccobo]

A lovely contribution

[Coccobo]

Why not

After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem." Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”

[peege in reply to Coccobo]

haha, very good

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Coccobo]

Excellent Coccobo

[Coccobo]

Ok, another one

There was a teacher who was teaching her students the meaning of the word 'definitely.' So she thought if they each got up and used it in a sentence, they would understand it better. So one student gets up and says,"The sky is definitely blue." The teacher says, "That's not true because clouds can make it look gray." Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says,"It can look yellow if you don't water it." Then another student says," Are there lumps in farts?" The teacher replies, "Excuse me?" The student repeats, "Are there lumps in farts?" Then the teacher says,"That isn't even a response to my question, but no there are no lumps in farts." Then the student replies, "Then I definitely just sh*t my pants."

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to Coccobo]

Definitely a messy joke

[longlungs]

great stuff KOTC happy days loved it. Janexx

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to longlungs]

Oh happy days, happy, happy, happy days longlungs

[silversurfer]

Don't know what I would do without my morning laugh, thank-you both.

[KingoftheCocktails in reply to silversurfer]

A laugh a day helps you work rest and !!!