can anyone give me some advise on haw to explaine to my family that I cant do the things i used to ie baby sitting now i have copd

[jean115]

[Hidden]

A difficult one this situation. I know after frequent chest infections, that my daughter would have looked my condition up. But the grandchildren. I know I emailed them a link for them to study but never had a reaction. I think you might have to take son/daughter aside and try and explain.

Anyway, they must have noticed your condition. They might either shut it out of their minds, or accept. All the best from annieseedx

[jean115]

I tried to explaine that I get reaaly tiered and when Iv been to work it gets harder but because as they put it You look alright Im not getting very far. I have explained that I cant always get my breath and I worry about the children when I have got them and that I can fall asleep vety quickley but I dont seem to be getting anywhere. They have looked it up and dont seem to think that I am that bad YET.

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We have the same problem family who don't realise. Everyone thinks he looks well so he must be! ! It has taken years but actually his sisters are worse. The blf do a very good information pack - you could leave it out for them to read.

But actually you just have to say I am sorry but I just can't do it and tell them you wouldn't forgive yourself if Anything happened. Easier typed than said!

Good luck TAD x x ps a call

To the blf helpline on Monday might be able to give you better advise

[barnsleysue]

Hi, it's very difficult , my hubby is burying his head in the sand to a degree and it makes me worried for him . I suppose it takes time as I have not fully accepted my condition and I am not right on inhalator 3 rd one thus far ...explain again but in a moment when everything is calm between you , and give them leaflets on your condition and ask that they please read them ...I am trying to get my hubby to do the same ..also I agree with tadwa you & me both gotta phone BLF ...take care :sue

[jean115 in reply to barnsleysue]

mabey if I stop pretending that all is ok and let them see me on a bad day it might work but I dont really want them to worry about me its hard to get it right.my husband is the same if we dont talk about it it will go away I will call the blf when they are not around but I feel like I am moaning about things and I am not that bad at the moment, well not as bad as what some other peaple are.

[barnsleysue]

You take care and ring BLF as I will .. We are all here for help & support ..keep in touch S:sue

[Toci]

There is no easy way Jean. If they cannot see you are ill, and don't listen when you tell them then you just have to say no, and mean it.

[jeanghost]

I know how you feel. It does not seem long ago when my husband and I could look after our two grandchildren and even took them on holiday. My husband has COPD and is on oxygen 24/7 so they know that granddad is not well. They are 5 and 9.

My daughter will not leave them with my husband but I can look after them and put them to bed. As he is not active my husband will play cards with the 9 year old and she is happy with that.

It is not fair of your family expect you to look after your grandchildren when you have COPD. Grandchildren are hard work at the best of times although we would not be without them!

Best wishes Jean

[ann1webb]

Let your family see you on a bad day when you are really struggling to do every day things. It won't be easy for them to see but seeing is believing. My family have seen me at my worst and now accept how difficult it is just to get through the day sometimes.

Ann x

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My husband doesnt like to talk about my condition, doesnt like to see me use my inhalers. Its not that he doesnt care just concerned for me. My daughter doesnt ask me to mind her 5 year old as she has 2 daughters at uni, but she does bring her round and we ask if we can take her out, usually to a play area. I just tell them I get extremely tired and they know not to phone me from 1 to 2 when I am usually asleep.I think we have to put ourselves first now we have these conditions and lean on our community friends here on really bad days.

[CornishBrian]

It is very difficult to get through to them. I think it is more a case of them "pretending" they don't understand because they can't believe that you are mortal. My kids only really grasped the idea when my wife phoned my eldest daughter and asked if she could come and be in the house while she went out for some shopping. The thers soon got the message.

[Hidden]

I have talked about myself, but should also mention husband who is having chemo, and the results show. Grandchildren have been very helpful and supportive, but with a chest condition, the condition isn't obvious. But when I climb a flight of stairs, the results are showing. Breathlessness.

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Maybe ask for help for you on a bad day ... then understanding can follow.

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Hi Jean,yes I think juliekay hit the nail on the head! They are asking for your help,maybe it's time the worm turned! When they realise you need help,it might drive it home more.

Good luck with it all xxx

[Hidden]

I have severe COPD and my husband and I do look after our (just turned) 3yr old twin granddaughters - BUT, I know I couldn't do it on my own. Even with my husband here, there are days when I find it very difficult.

I am dreading the day I will have to say to our daughter that I am no longer able to have the girls. On saying this, I know she will understand as she is always asking if I am still ok to have them. We have the girls here every Thursday and Friday afternoon after Nursery and also alternate Wednesdays all day.

As everyone has suggested, contact the BLF as they will be a great help to you.

Thérèse