How are you coping? It seems perfumes are everywhere at the moment, A neighbour came round to collect a parcel, my husband cheerily invited him and I was holding the door open and trying to breathe and be sociable, but found my breathing get caught and harder to reply. I end up feeling a right Scewge as I try to avoid anyone smothered in perfume or cologne, I feel very grumpy, but I AM JUST PROTECTING MYSELF. How do other cope? I love being hospitable and friendly but 9 times out if 10 it doesn't work for me these days,
it's hard for partners too.
Sorry rant finished, ENJOY YOUR Christmas whatever you are doing,
El
Written by
strongmouse
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
If you are inviting people into your own home then maybe politely request ahead of time that they avoid using perfume or aftershave. You may still get a reaction to laundry detergents, shampoos etc, but at least that would get rid of the strongest scents.
I do ask people not to wear scented products, but find that smells cling to clothes and people are often not aware of them, especially laundry products. This time of year I see all the perfume ads and think of how much money they make and how unaware many people seem to be. A bit like cigarette smoking used to be - I wonder if one day we might wake up to a world where they are banned in public spaces! I think Canada do this and recognise the health dangers.
I went to a church service and managed to sit by myself, but one lady, thinking she was being hospitable, came and sat next to me smothered in perfume! It is easier to tell family but society in general seem to not realise it can be a problem. I noticed that at one stage many public toilets in supermarkets had 'air freshners' but they seem to be less common, fortunately.
I suppose the problem with laundry detergents, shampoos etc is that some people may be unable to switch brand due to their own sensitivities. All we can do is to try and reduce the risks.
I'm not too bad with perfumes, unless v strong, but the room sprays that blow it out of a unit, are deadly 4 me.it must be hard when yr sensitive to most perfumed toiletries too.
LysistrataAdministratorCommunity Ambassador• in reply toPatk1
Oh those are awful! After a few unfortunate encounters, if I see one of those burst things in a restaurant or shop bathroom, I speed up everything in case it's about to go off. We had one where I used to work, but the company I worked for was fantastic with helping me avoid them and talk to the facilities people, and they specifically didn't install them when we moved office.
Public bathrooms are also a minefield for me with the soap - which is even worse if it's a trigger and I've used it without realising because it's then on my skin and I'm walking round with my hands trying to poison me! For me, the posher the bathroom, the worse it is because they're more likely to have good quality hand soaps with scents like 'super scented happy fields of natural rose and lavender' or 'eau de violet gin'. The cheap stuff doesn't affect me personally as they remove whatever it is in the plant that sets me off when they make the mass produced commercial extracts. (On the flip side I can personally handle expensive and older perfumes like Chanel No 5 with no issues, but the base of newer and cheaper ones is definitely a trigger.)
Some shops like to show off their room fragrances too - especially expensive interiors ones like The White Company. I got as far as a doorway there once.
My biggest trigger is alcohol sanitiser, and I hate it when companies put it in ordinary looking soap dispensers, so I don't realise until I've used it! Pre diagnosis, one place I used to visit regularly decided to put hand sanitiser in one soap dispenser and soap in the other. The print was so tiny, I didn't notice, especially as on every other visit, both dispensers had held soap. I ended up collapsing, which I think convinced them to swap back to soap, as the sanitiser had gone next time I visited!
Oh yes I usually have to cross the street if I see a Lush! Once had an unfortunate episode on holiday in Norway - it started pouring with rain so we hid in a shop doorway...then I realised the shop was Lush! Hmm so I can get soaked or triggered, what a choice lol. Didn't even realise they had Lush in Norway till then.
Asthma is weird though - I have a friend with severe asthma who is fine with Lush and all the scented things I can't handle. She's very aware of other people's triggers being different though and will be careful about them, and I'm similarly careful with hers. I find it very frustrating when other people with asthma are oblivious to the fact that triggers vary, and base everything on whether or not it's a trigger for them.
I'm usually fine with natural scents, but I'm like you and have to cross the street if I'm near a Lush! I think it's just the sheer volume and strength of the different scents.
It's not just asthma as I find some smells can trigger a migraine - newspaper print anyone?! Weird, I know, but it is good to know that I am not alone.
Oh yes my friend with migraine disorder has issues with scents. She's on a biologic for migraine but they can still get her to some extent, though much less than without the biologic.
We often discuss the joys of random scents jumping out at us! Her head is more indiscriminate than my lungs though - my lungs are quite picky over whether it's something natural (trigger) or not (usually not a trigger). Her head just goes SCENT BAD.
I feel for you. I have researched the problem and discovered that one of the main triggers is an added fragrance enhancing chemical called isoeugenol which should be in the list of ingredients in any product made in the EU due to it's known sensitivities. Not restricted anymore in the UK. I only buy cleaning products from Aldi or Lidl as at least you can check for it.
I’m so sorry you have the same problem I have. It’s a nightmare isn’t it! I totally understand your frustration. I have had terrible times at the theatre too when they use dry ice. I can’t easily go shopping and places like the White Company as you say - no way can I even go inside! And I love their products but can’t buy or use them! I have another problem that you may also share. When I buy online say a t-shirt it often comes smelling intensely of perfume. I wish when you buy you could be given a fresh, unreturned item in its original packaging but these days it’s rare.
I don’t have any solutions I’m afraid but I do all the things you do. I find people as you say are very kind if they know but don’t realise how scent lingers on clothes so even if they’re not wearing it to see you the coat they’re wearing still has it all over it. I managed 24 hours of an early family Christmas at ours but by the end of that I needed antihistamines badly,
It’s rare to find someone with my problem so I wish you well and am sending a big hug as I know how hard it is to live with.
Thank you Gothbunny, appreciate your kind words. I think at this time of year with more socialising and lots of perfume, I'm more aware of my hermit like existence and how I try to manage health and navigate life!
Strong perfumes really get to me. Body sprays seem worse! Also hair sprays! Interestingly, I can use a quick burst of air freshener in the loo, yet if my husband uses a body spray in the bathroom, I have to ask him to open up the windows and doors as can't go in until it's cleared.
Fortunately, my husband rarely uses anything like that as he is allergic to ingredients in some of them, but a friend gave him a gift set this year and he decided to try it. I was out in the garden like a shot!
It's hard when our daughter comes to stay as she is a 'perfume girl' and likes to use various products that all smell lovely, but do me no good. She will often say, 'I've opened the window, Mum,' and doesn't realise that it takes more than that to get rid of the allergens. However, she lives at the other end of the country and doesn't visit often, so I tolerate what I can and keep out of the way of the sprays when possible.
Candles are worse. I've had a couple of nasty asthma attacks where I believe scented candles to be the culprit.
The worst for me is people who smother themselves then use public transport. I hold my breath and move away from them. I rarely go to shopping centres now so don't get caught out by Lush anymore. Walking past one of their shops is a big trigger for me.
Then there's people who have pets. I know "normal" people don't smell anything, for me it can be both offensive and triggering.
To be fair, I think perfume smells much stronger to me than others as well, same for anything I'm allergic to.
I got on a bus once and a woman was spraying hairspray and styling her daughter's hair in the back seats! I had to get off at the next stop and suffered for the rest of the day with that awful post-attack "hangover" feeling my lungs get. I just can't fathom doing that kind of thing in public, even if they're not aware of scent-triggered asthma. I'm sure people think I'm very rude when I leap up and go to sit upstairs but what can you do?
I've had problems with only one member of family who I suspect wears perfume on purpose. She's the sort who doesn't think anyone is actually allergic to anything and you're just being fussy to irritate her. I don't care about upsetting her lol. Everyone else has asthma and tried to understand but fall in the well-meaning group of "oh I'll just open a window" or "I didn't use much perfume and I put it on a few hours ago so it's not as strong now". You wouldn't serve "only a little bit" of peanut to someone with a peanut allergy! It really doesn't matter how many particles you breathe in if you're triggered by it, you're triggered by it.
JazzySalmon, it's taken a long time for people to take things like allergies seriously, and if I'm honest before I developed allergies and then later asthma I wasn't hugely understanding, although I would never force something on anyone. I find it quite concerning that the number of people with asthma is increasing, as are the number of people with allergies.
I used to think 'Well they wouldn't allow it if there was a problem, would they. ' But it tends to be the opposite. You are right it only takes a few particles. My husband understands as he sees the colour drain from my face when I'm badly affected as well as the ventolin coming out.
Sadly, a lot of people would serve a 'little bit' of peanut to someone with a peanut allergy - just look at the recent headlines about people who have died after ingesting 'just a little bit' of peanut, sesame, dairy etc, all caused by people deciding that their allergy couldn't be serious enough for a 'little bit' to hurt them.
Yes, Mandevilla, it has. The one positive from it is the media coverage that has stemmed from these and now, of course, companies are responsible for making sure foods are properly labelled.
There was a little girl who died in London from asthma and that was the first time, I think, that traffic pollution was officially linked to someone's death. It is sad that this is what it takes, though.
I’m ok with some scent in moderation but that awful range of men’s products packaged in black and neon, named after a wild cat and marketed at teenage boys, completely floors me. Especially as they are young and inexperienced they believe each can has three portions if you’re lucky.
Also vapes, the cleaning products aisle, air fresheners including the ones for cars and especially at this time of year, scented candles. My husband and children have a Christmas sweepstake as to how many scented candles friends and family will buy me because who doesn’t love a scented candle at Christmas? They just don’t get it, despite being politely explained. They feel I need to be converted.
The silver lining is that all the clubs my children participated in that held fundraisers, all received scented candles as prizes!
Oh it feels good to have a rant! Thank you everyone and Merry Christmas!
coping is perhaps the right word, this time of years just sucks because of all the parties and presents etc. For work we have signs up asking people not to refresh themselves in the office and to limit the use of perfumes etc due to my reactions. 95% of people are reasonable (for whichI am beyond grateful)but you obviously it’s not possible to avoid completely. I also wear a filter mask which does help.
As for homes and visitors, we generally ask people to not wear stuff in our home. We all use unscented body wash and detergent and use non-perfumed deodorant (not just for me but mum too). If my nephew is going out and wants to use aftershave he has to wait until he leaves then outside sprays and hands it back and leaves. Generally by the time he has come home it is gone enough to not be too much of a problem.
If someone comes and is wearing something that I react to, I have politely explained and if I can stand back and cope I will but otherwise I will have to leave the room. If they are there to visit me I have had to ask them to leave again explaining that it smells lovely but I simply can’t cope. Yes it offends some people but my being able to breathe is far more important in my opinion.
Hi strongmouse mine is washing powder or household scents. Some cheap perfume and after shave and any of these room atomisers. You are certainly not alone. Merry Christmas x
I have non eosinophillic asthma and this time of year is particularly difficult, so I empathise with you.
I also am triggered by strong perfume, it's difficult sometimes. A perfumed lady sat next to me at the station and I had to immediately get up and walk away. I felt bad about doing that but had no choice.
It would be great if there were adverts educating the general public about how perfume can have a bad effect on asthmatics.
I can't read all the comments, so sorry of i raise an issue already covered. I think we talk a lot about how it affects our Asthma, and rightly so. But no one voices how much we'll like to wear some of it like everyone else.
I have ONE perfume. Men's Vetiver, something I love and can tolerate better. I look at it every few days longingly. Wondering when can I afforf to use it next. I soooo wanted to use it at my friend-Sister's wedding. I couldn't as I was fresh out of Hospital.
As an increasingly disabled person grieving loss after loss of capabilities, I still think perfumes to be a particularly bitter one. Like I never got to enjoy that side of being a young woman. Or enjoy gifts boxes of soaps, etc. Never been able to soak my older aching body in luxurious bath bombs. Nor sleep and dream inspired by exotic sented Candles or incense. For prayers, instead of burning real resin I light half an incense stick per room whilst I escape safely to a different room. Asthma robs us of our breath, obviously. But also feminity or masculinity or however someone might see it. I'm exhausted of being asked "You DONT like perfume??!!" Now I answer: "I adore it. I just can't breath near it. You see the choice?" A choice of no choice.
I know what you mean - I actually really like it when there's a scent I can enjoy safely. Sounds odd to others but I have been known to say I feel sad that nice scents are so uncertain and can be dangerous. I know there are many worse things but I miss being able to smell roses safely (I mean there's even a saying about stopping to smell the roses as a simple pleasure in life!)
I also get very fed up when telling people my triggers gets a response of 'oh I like (fresh paint, that perfume, the scent of roses). Yes so do I, that's not the point at all. Plenty of people allergic to animals probably like those animals and would like to have a pet. It's not a choice or preference to react!
Yes! Exactly that. Like you said, they so often reply: "Oh you can't have this, guess what i can have this list of things!" You have a good point on pets allergy. Maybe we could add it at to our sentences. I can't have perfumes, like some people are allergic to pets and can't have them! The best is people who watched you have asthma attacks, know about the perfume, sents triggers, who then goes on to gifts you scented stuff afterwards! 🤦🏼
Annunnaki, you are right about it not being a choice. For young women it must be harder as we are bombarded by social media and adverts whereby products which smell to high heaven, are associated with all sorts of wonderful things. I only started having to miss out on family events in my 40s.
For our 70th birthday (my husband was born the same year) my sons arranged a small summer party in a barn with open doors and everyone was asked not to wear perfumes. It was just after Covid finished and it was so special.
Being a beautiful person isn't about looks or how you smell, but about who you are inside. It doesn't make those losses easier, and we do grieve them and rant about them sometimes!! But remember the beautiful woman you are in your heart and soul.
Oh your 70'th must have been amazing. I'm so happy you had a special time. Thank you so much for your beautiful words.
I'm mix race of French origin. We used to say that perfume should not assault your nose, like the new ones do. They should be a pleasant extension of the person, and leave a beautiful reminder of them for few minutes after they've left. Like both older perfumes & new big houses perfumer products do. I honestly think many of the celebrities' new ones are in fact with cheaper contents, not fresh flowers essence. Many have a chemical sent. They're really strong, something even pure flowers, plant or woods oil can't achieve. They're the worst. Even if I wasn't asthmatic I wouldn't use them. It's like a battle of who can smell the strongest!
Oh I'm sorry. Wood fires are one of the best things about Winter. I have a salt lamp that gives that same glow, but not the dancing effect. I don't think anything can mimic how beautiful Fire can be, when not destructive.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
How to cope with a child with suspected asthma
When is asthma asthma and when asthma not asthma?
Are people with asthma prone to more infections
New to Asthma and very scared
Child with immunodeficiency (IGA) and Asthma 
