Dear lungs

Dear lungs,

Would you please stop trying to be a weather station? You have a job to do, and it isn't predicting the weather.

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Come on, please play fair. Ill be nice to you, not force you to work too hard, just give me a break and a chance to get some sleep.

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Dear lungs,

You do realise that `Puritanism is rather old-fashioned? I don't see the problem with laughing, dancing, singing, incense and urban living even if you do.

Also, I feel it's rather hypocritical to hava this apparent obsession with 'pure' pursuits when you are such a pair of manipulative little s***s (all those mind games).

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just because you love pred, doesnt mean the rest of my body wants it all the time, you get your turn, the rest of me gets a rest from the damn things!!

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Please be on your best behaviour today, then we can go home.

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Why do you make weird noises when I'm at work which makes any medic within a 10 foot radius look at me concerned and ask if I'm ok?! Yet at clinic you don't make any interesting noises so my team think I'm the weirdest asthmatic ever!!

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Im holding you personally responsible for the golf ball sized lump on my arm from a failed cannulation; if you didnt insist on hydro then poor arm would have been saved from needles!

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Dear lungs

welcome to the previously unexplored world of pred!!

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Dear lungs,

I know my GP wants me to see a psych to discuss the impact my asthma is having on me, but I am reasonably sure she doesn't think I'm in urgent need of psychiatric help.

You, on the other hand, are like a Munchausen's patient who's been given both DSM-5 and ICD-10 chapter V for Christmas, plus a nice DVD of 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' (no, it's not an instructional film).

Please cease and desist, or get some help. Oh, and your drug addiction needs sorting too - you've now got used to having it and can't deal with it being withdrawn. Well tough - you're getting detoxed whether you like it or not, before I have to buy new clothes.

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Dear lungs,

When I get angry or stressed it doesn't mean you need to join in too.