I can't cope any more.

[M-j-m-1]

My son is 14, and we've been trying to get a firm diagnosis of what's wrong for 4 years now. His school are treating him as Asperger as they are certain he is, a private paediatrician has writeN a report diagnosing him as having Asperger, being clinically depressed and having severe sleep deprevation. Even his cahms case worker has said he's convinced he has pretty severe aspergers. However no one will give us an help. Cahms still haven't even got to the point of referring him to a paediatrician for review. He's violent, creates dangerous situation (e.g./ throwing car doors open on the motorway) and self harms. Repeating often that he wants to die. I don't know where to go for help. Cahms just keep pushing papers and sending another forM out so we are no closer to getting any help or necessary medication. My gps are sympathetic and keep writing to cahms, but say there's nothing else they can do and not to leave him alone as he's a Suicide risk. There must be some help out there surely. I feel like cahms are trying to delay until he's 16 and then sign him off. Really sorry for the rant, I don't know what to do any more.

[Mandagee]

My heart goes out to you and your son.it's so hard to listen to / and see our children in distress.i think you need to get to bottom of this as teenage boys struggle enough due to hormones.It sounds like a mental health problem compounded with autism spectrum.I would go to AandE with him and refuse to leave untill something was in place.you can't go on like this.your other option extreme as it sounds the next attempt to endanger himself or others phone police they can also access emergency medical help.I hope you find peace for both of you soon.

[Kfuclare]

Hi it sounds like you're trying your best and at least you're in the 'system'. Where are you based? I think you need to see a Psychotherapist who specialises in working with Aspergers and mental health issues, someone who can see you're son and you separately because you need an outlet too. If he's had a diagnosis and report done what are his Triad of Impairments? It's important to understand what these are so you can make special adjustments for him, you say his school are helping him, how? Can they help him see a school counsellor who's trained in working with Aspergers? You need help learning how to coominicate with him so he understands what you mean, it's like he's on planet earth and you're from Mars and you're speaking English but in a different way and your 'norms' are alien to him, it's like learning a new way of being and no wonder he lashes out or has severe depression because no one 'speaks' his language. I hope I'm making sense for you! I'm a Psychotherapist who works with Aspergers. Look at the work of Simon Baron Cohen and Jenny Roynayne she offers help and training workshops. Hope that helps.

[myhealthneeds]

So sorry that you are having these difficulties. My husband was somewhat similar. Finally diagnosed with Aspergers. However we found that he is hypersensitive to certain foods and substances such as petrol fumes, bananas and strawberries. We had private tests done (Muscle Testing) and found out what was affecting him and after one week of withdrawing these things he relaxed a lot and his attitude changed. It is a great relief to the person if the triggers are found and avoided. Whereabouts do you live? We could meet up and have a chat if possible. I'm in the Cardiff area but I got to back to Berkshire occasionally. I also had foster children who were on the Spectrum and each of them had problems with certain foods, two of them were hypersensitive to milk. All the very best.

[Bonnie51462]

Hi Aspie Mom here, breathe...now is he in school? If so they can help to get him help specially if he's suicidal, my son was 5 and was expressing the desire because he was "different"...If so is a no go where are you located at and I don't know what cahms is I live in the States so it maybe a different name here...Push his ped as they can help, my sosn's has been invaluable, if not get a referrel for another ped there is help, just seems to me you are in a circle who some are helping while others are not...I have had the same issue with my son's school...It took 6 yrs but they seem to be finally giving him a 504 plan as his issues are sensations and not scholastic they kept telling me he didn't need help but his PE teacher was failing him because he can't handle shorts the air on his legs drives him batty...so I threatened lawyer he's allowed to wear sweats to gym, bastard still gave him a D just because he could...Good luck hun it's a bumpy road and we have to keep fighting because "They look so normal" pisses me off...

[emmasue]

My heat goes out to you as well. I know what an exhausting process this is and would not wish to be in your place. My son is 10 and we are still waiting for a diagnosis, although his school is treating him as if he is on the spectrum. He is in year 6 now and is finding this year particularly hard because of the stress of SATS (they started practice SATS the second day back to school!). We have been on this road since he started year 3. Since the start of the year, CAMHS have told us that my son is at the top of the list, that they are sending the letters out and yet we still await news about when his assessment will be. Friends warn me though that even with a diagnosis, because he doesn't have a statement or EHCP, a diagnosis will make no difference. I am worried about how he will cope at senior school, but people keep telling me not to borrow worries from the future! To top this off, I have an 8 year old daughter on the waiting list as well, although I am not sure she has autism or not. I think she may have auditory processing disorder (APD), but GOSH won't assess if there is a suspicion of ASD (which there is). Anyway, we have been trying to help her out since a severe speech and language delay was diagnosed at the age of 2.

Anyway, in your case, I would possibly try Mandagee's suggestion to go to A&E. I'm not sure whether it will help or not, but it is an option. Another option is to ring CAMHS every day until something is done. The squeaky wheel gets the oil! The other option is to contact your MP. Let him or her know what you are having to deal with. This is what constituency MP's are for. Our MP has helped to a certain extent but as we are still waiting for an assessment, there is not an awful lot he can do. However, the more people who make their MP's aware of the slow nature of the assessment system, the more it will be an issue within parliament. Another option is to contact social services. I know people worry taking this step, but if the parents make the request, social services are usually good at helping them find access to services that they need. It has worked for a few of my acquaintances. Whatever you try, I wish you the best and I hope you get help for your son. xxx

[Hidden]

Have you asked for melatoninto be prescribed? If you can find a way to help the sleep the suicidal impulses should reduce. 5mg currently getting my son to sleep nightly.

[davidgolf49]

Hi, it sounds like your son has PDA, opening door on motorway? Get a childlock! Or don't put him in a car.

I know that adaptations at home calm the situation down, has he got a room where he can escape to when he is stressed? He may need his own bedroom, his own toys, how about his own pets? Rabbits in his very own hutch? Just for your son.

I am sure you can resolve this behavioural problem if you look into PDA in kids. There wa sa tv program that had kids with PDA, have you seen it?

channel4.com/programmes/bor...

Cheers.