I experienced post partum psychosis and had to be hospitalized for one month. Since then I have experienced post partum depression and am slowly recovering from that emotionally (not having passive suicidal thoughts,) but I am finding I am having a hard time organizing my thoughts and problem solving, like even writing a grocery list and going to the grocery store is difficult for me. I have a hard time remembering details of conversations or even recalling words to contribute to conversations with friends - has anyone else experienced this before?
It’s to the point where I am having difficulty maintaining my job because I have a hard time organizing my thoughts and processing what people where saying to me. Even in this paragraph I feel like I have more details to express about this but can’t find the words.
Thanks
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DancerLove01
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I'm so glad you've reached out to us - welcome to the APP community!
You've done so well to get to the point where you feel like your depression is lifting - we know it can be a tough journey to get there! I'm really sorry to hear that you're noticing difficulties with your cognition and it's affecting daily life quite a lot.
How long ago did you experience PP? I know in my own experience back in 2005, it probably took a good 8-12 months for me to feel less mentally tired - but things improved a lot in the following year.
There are lots of things that can affect memory and processing which might include side-effects of medication, disrupted sleep and even the depression itself. Do you have any ongoing support from medical professionals as it could be useful to talk this through with them? I definitely found that slowly reducing my dose of antipsychotic medication after 12 months helped with my fatigue and 'brain fog'.
If you're based outside the UK, I thought you might also like to know about Postpartum Support International who have a network of peer support for people affected by PP. It can be so helpful to meet other mums online and share your recovery journey. Here's the information from their website:
Mondays at 4:30 PM PT/ 7:30 PM ET
Postpartum Psychosis (PPP) occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries.
After a PPP survivor’s symptoms have been stabilized, peer support can be an important tool for recovery. Because PPP occurs less often than other perinatal mood disorders, survivors can go their whole lives without meeting another PPP survivor.
In response, PSI has created an online peer-to-peer support group for PPP survivors. This group is intended for those who are in recovery (no longer experiencing psychosis). Whether your PPP experience was relatively recent or years ago, you are welcome to attend our free, online peer-to-peer support group. Register here:
Sorry to hear you are finding it difficult with your daily tasks and work. I know personally after recovering from PP it can take a while to get back into the swing of things and everything feels delayed and/or unorganised. I remember going through a small bit of depression following PP and at that time I felt there was nothing I could do but in reality we do so much but just put ourselves down in that moment.
You are doing well, you are reaching out for support here and that’s a great first step. Maybe you can discuss this with your DR/whoever you are under with care at the moment.
Know that with time you will feel better for sure 💙
Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced postpartum psychosis, and now on top of that PPD as well. It is so unfair. You describe vividly a lesser talked about aspect of mental illness - the impact on our cognition. I recognise a lot of what you describe - problem solving difficulties for sure, and also memory and recall. The simplest things (that I could breeze through prior to PP) would somehow take all day and cause me all sorts of anxiety.
I’m not sure if you are taking medications, but sometimes the stronger anti psychotic meds can have an impact on our cognition in this way. But it is also the illness itself. Our brains go through a really traumatic time with the psychosis and then the recovery, it’s like there is little bandwidth left for everyday thinking tasks!
The good news is that this won’t last forever. You’ll gradually start to feel like your old self again and things will get easier. In the meantime, it might be helpful to keep a notepad handy to write down things you don’t want to forget. And if there is someone supportive at your work perhaps have a chat with them to see if there are any adjustments that can be made there too. Focus on the things you CAN do, the things that will help build up your confidence and hopefully that will help you on your recovery.
I'm sorry you are having cognitive problems. I think you will find that many of us can say that we found it took longer than we expected to feel our usual self's in that respect.
For myself my cognitive abilities were impaired firstly by the psychosis where upon I was given an antipsychotic to slow down those racing thoughts. I was on quite an old fashioned antipsychotic and a close friend told me I never seemed fully myself on them. So I wasn't sure if it was that med side effect slowing my cognitive ability.
Not to forget a lack of or disrupted sleep can have an effect on brain fog too.
I returned to work 3 months after my psychosis and my boss commented (in a nice way) that I seemed to be working at 80% capacity. He was a very understanding boss and said he would rather have me work a little slower than be off sick and not work at all.
If you are concerned could you speak to your doctor and check if it could be medication related. If you are worried about work would it help to discuss having any adjustments in place that might help you.
You may find that this gradually gets better in time. Stress does such a lot to our bodies and minds.
I hope you can feel a bit more like yourself soon without feeling like your brain won't focus
I’m sorry you have been and are going through this. It can be a struggle returning to work after PP and it can take a really long time to really feel back to yourself again.
Just wanted to reassure you that I felt very much the same as you - struggled with memory and other cognitive functions post PP. Mine lasted for quite a while, but that may well be because I was kept on a low dose of Olanzapine for a few years after the PP. Once I completely came off the medication, I saw an improvement in these areas.
Agree with others about thinking through workplace adjustments that might help you out. Eg taking notes of everything and organising my notes so I could refer back quickly when I needed to as well as a reminder to update my to do list daily really helped me. If you are able to you could talk adjustments through with your boss and/or HR; as they may also be able to help you think through what would work for you.
I hope the replies here were helpful. You are amazing returning to work after all you have been through. It’s not easy balancing family life and work commitments at the best of times but recovering from PP and depression can seem like an added weight.
I hope you are finding work a little easier to manage and are enjoying the company of friends. Try not to be too self critical, just go with the flow, one step at a time. Take care. 🌸
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