Living with pps partner

[Lotto123]

Im really struggling to stick by my wife whose suffering from pps, the episodes shes had have ruined relationships with freinds and family, the outrageous demands on myself,the lies, depression,cheating..it feels like it will never end and that we d all be better off if i moved out our family home.Is there light at the end if the tunnel , and if so , when ??

[AstroSue]

My partner left me when I was in the mother and baby unit. I imagine I wasn't the easiest to live with, but I was very, very unwell. I think being kicked out at my lowest point made recovery so much harder.

I appreciate you're having a very difficult time, but I would urge you to try and stick with her if you can. What support is she getting? And you? They tried to do family therapy with us in the mother and baby unit, if they can get on top of the psychosis this might be beneficial to you?

Don't do anything rash, think it all through as carefully as you can. I hope you can find a way through this.

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Lotto123,

I am so very sorry that your wife suffered with Postpartum Psychosis, it is an awful illness and a shock and trauma for you too isn't it. My daughter suffered with PP and got better, your wife can get better too. Recovery, sadly, can be up and down and your wife may well be in terrible distress. If I may ask how long ago was the birth of your precious baby? As AstroSue, I also wonder what help you are getting. Was your wife in a Mother and Baby Unit, does she have a local mental health team, could you speak with your GP. Also I wonder if you have been able to see the APP Insider Guides you may find them helpful. I do understand that this must be so difficult for you, perhaps more so in these Covid times. Try and access all the help you can and please don't give up yet, your wife needs you and supportive, understanding family and friends around her to help her to be

restored to herself.

Best wishes to you and congratulations on baby.

Judith x

[Simon_at_APP APP]

Hi Lotto123,

So sorry to hear your wife has pp and the struggles your facing. My wife had pp, spending 12 weeks in an MBU and then an up and down road back to full recovery, there is no doubt how much of a traumatic experience it can be for both the wife, the partner and families.

I went through every possible emotion and questioned whether the whole thing would ever be back to some sense of normality, it got to a stage where I couldn't think more than what was happening right there at that moment because it was too scary to look to the future. I had to remind myself, as did our families, that my wife was really ill; it was a really hard time but with the right care and support it really can get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel, even when it doesn't look like it.

I think the questions have been asked in the other 2 replies, so I won't ask any more but leave some further info below, if you get a chance to have a look.

Here's a link to the 'Resources for partners' page, where you can find a link to the 'pp insider guides' as well, which Judith mentioned, app-network.org/partners-2/

If you live in the UK or Ireland, APP also do 1:1 support, again you can find the link at the same place above.

Finally there is a 'closed' Facebook page for partners of women who have experienced postpartum psychosis, facebook.com/groups/APPpart...

With the very best of wishes

Simon

[Pikorua Volunteer in reply to Simon_at_APP]

so useful Simon, I am pleased that we have you on board for supporting dad's throughout this very difficult time...

[Revans86 Volunteer]

Hi Lotto123,

I had PP in 2016. I’m so so sorry this has happened to your family too. I can’t imagine what you must be going through yourself.

But I know first hand what a trauma PP is for the WHOLE family, not just the person experiencing it. Don’t forget yourself in amongst all that you’re going through.

I just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and your partner. I hope you’re getting support yourself from friends etc. Take great care of yourself and congratulations on your new arrival. X

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hello Lotto123,

I am sorry you both are going through pp at the moment. It is a traumatic illness and having experienced it from the side of the patient only, I can't imagine how hard it must be to see everything without the fog of the illness and the medication.

I just wanted to pipe in to remind that this terrible thing you are both experiencing is not hers or yours fault, its nobody's fault. It's as tragic as being a passenger in a car accident. And the same as with a physical illness, recovery is possible and she will go back to her old self. I know right now that is impossible to believe. But mums in this forum are a testimony of that, she will get better, she will gain back control of herself, she will come back.

My illness 2 years ago was incredible taxing on my family and I can't say how grateful I am for their support and amazing love. They were the cornerstone of my recovery. But to be able to give that support you have to get some help for yourself, I have the impression from your post this has been going on for a while. Do you have any access to talking therapy for you? Family therapy suggested by AstroSue could be something to try, perhaps? And also, is your wife under a perinatal mental health team, atm? During the darkest periods my husband and brother would voice their fears and questions to my mental health team and they were always the best place to answer questions, provide reassurance and reliable information.

Take very good care of yourself Lotto123, I can't imagine how hard it is at the moment, but remember that pp is very treatable and your wife will recover from it

[Lotto123 in reply to Maria_at_APP]

Thanks

[Lotto123 in reply to Maria_at_APP]

Ill give astrosue a try .. thanks again

[Lotto123]

Thanks for all the comments to each and every 1 of you ..gives us hope as a family unit we can see a future together..wife is still ill and in care with baby, we have 1 more kid also , she hates my guts and wants me to change but i hope thats just the illness talking lol ..seems to be going on forever , major paranoia , false realitys and hallusinations.Im giving it my all to hold it together for us but she seems one track minded about her wants and needs in life now. As if the girl i fell in love with 20years ago isnt there anymore.

Thanks again xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123

Welcome to the forum and shared experiences which I’m glad have given you hope as a family unit. I’m so sorry your wife is suffering so much. I remember how awful it must have been for my husband ..... I was almost like a completely different person, suspicious of everyone, very argumentative and scared.

Please hold on .... the girl you fell in love with is still there but has been overwhelmed by such a traumatic illness and is fighting to be well for you and your treasured children.

I wonder if you have seen the PP Insider Guide “Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis” which might be helpful to read at app-network.org/what-is-pp/.... There is also a guide for partners and shared experiences on the page.

I had PP many years ago and it is an awful experience. At this stage it feels never ending but it is a temporary and very treatable illness. Do you have support from the perinatal mental health team until baby is one year?

It’s not easy for you but try not to be offended by things your wife might say as she is not herself and probably struggling to make sense of what is happening. With good medical care your wife will eventually recover and will be so comforted by your loving support. I hope you also have support around for yourself .....we are always here to listen. Take care.

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Lotto123,

It must be very hard now and I am sorry. But she is in the best place for her at the moment, and with the right medication and treatment she will come through it. This is temporary.

My memories of my "personality" when I was unwell were also like Lilybeth described completely at odds with myself, I was raging, I didn't hesitate much to engage physically, I would shout at the top of my lungs, and I would be terrified of leaving my room. The doctors explained it as the fight or flight reaction we all experience when perceiving danger, but now imagine you are getting that adrenaline pumping through your body without any real danger present. However, for your wife her body is telling her that the danger is very real and thus she acts in the way she does, as a natural defense mechanism.

I was in a mother and baby unit for 2 months, before then I was in a general psych ward for 10 days. This happened to me 2 years ago and after a year of medication and plenty of counselling I did recovered.

My husband lived through it all very closely, and for him the reassurance from the nurses and doctors that I would come back to myself was invaluable. You have a gorgeous family, being with your wife 20 years and counting and with 2 lovely children. No one plans for the storm that pp is, and its such an overwhelming and hard moment. Do you have good family or friends nearby you can perhaps go out for a chat with and unload some of your thoughts?

I hope things start looking up soon, Lotto123, we are here always to talk, and may be an option to give the facebook partners group a try, to share some experiences with other partners that went or are going through the same

[Fatimahg]

Dear Lotto

I am in a very similar predicament. No doubt you also have been the subject of most of the anger, suspicion and occasional violence as well. It isn't easy at all.

I would say that for me it has got a bit better since the first episode 2nd September 2019. She had an episode this morning, but it wasn't as bad as 3-4 months ago.

The key to survive is get some time to yourself - the lockdown has been so awful I can't describe, particularly as we have been trapped in an environment where someone who used to love us and treat us with kindness; now despises us, is suspicious of everything we do, and we do can nothing right!

Now things have opened up a bit in respect of COVID restrictions - you need to get time to yourself. I come into my office when I can, before I used to go onto the roof of my building.

While you are having this respite, calm yourself and tell yourself that it isn't really her - that you didn't make any mistakes - you are not to blame - you should not take what she does or says, to heart. Take the time when you're out to forgive her. Then go back refreshed. Often, you might find that she doesn't even remember what happened last, that which drove you out of the house.

Another reason that you can't walk out - is the little one - would they be safe in her hands? My wife, has expressed previously, thoughts to kill the baby and to stab me with various sharp objects. It's an almost impossible situation.

The only way I feel is we can survive is to get that respite. Hopefully you are living in a country which has some form of community mental health team - who can potentially offer some solutions. I personally don't live in such a location - so all I have is me

All the very best. I know exactly how you're feeling. Talk more. People here all know what you, and I, are going through and even if they only provide a means whereby we can talk about what has been happening, and they can tell you that they understand, this alone is perhaps enough to just get through another day.

I wish you all the best.

[Lotto123 in reply to Fatimahg]

Thanks fatimahg and everyone else for your supportive comments..

My wife is my hero for battling and getting the help firstly.She/we are fighting for our lives..pure survival mode at the moment ..cant imagine what she s going thru but also very tough to watch..she and the baby are no1 right now..good to see there is light and other familys have been here and survived this..will definately make us more mature and closer i hope..thanks again for all your lovely replies , first time ive ever done a public/ internet cry for help and it really as helped..ive read (multiple times) and took on board ALL of your comments... we' ll keep swimming till we reach the shore..thanks again x

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Fatimahg]

Hello Fatimahg

I’m sorry to read from your heartfelt reply that you don’t live in a country offering community mental health. It must seem very isolating and sad when you said “ ..... so all I have is me.”

I’m sorry your wife seems so aggressive while she is recovering. If I can offer an insight I think if she is having delusions, everything will be very real and frightening. If it’s any help, she is not lashing out at you but to the awful things she imagines. Many years ago during my recovery I was actively suicidal and had awful thoughts and delusions. At one point I imagined a face that sat between myself and my husband, telling me what a bad mother I was. Of course I would shout back at ‘it’ which looked as if I was shouting at my husband as only I could hear and see this ‘monster’. Thankfully with medication and other interventions the delusions and hallucinations faded with time.

I wonder if you are abroad whether Postpartum Support International at postpartum.net might have someone locally who you could talk to? If you go to the page there’s a list of countries and perhaps you might find your location there?

It must be very overwhelming for you sometimes. Please be assured that with good medical care and your support, your wife will be well again. It does take a lot of patience and understanding as your wife fights to be well for you and your family. As you say, a short break and time to yourself is a good way to cope from day to day. Take good care of yourself.

[AJN7]

There's great advice on here- honestly there's no clear timescale but she will come back to you. My wife had PP after both our kids were born, I could see her trying to break out of herself the whole time but she was horrendous too in the things she did and said. With the right help the girl I loved slowly fought off the demons and was able to enjoy mat leave with the little ones. It seemed like a lifetime but really was only a matter if weeks before I could see the chinks. She remembered so much, could explain all the thoughts she had that made her act that way, and could remember how people were with her. You've just got ride it out, it might be the toughest thing you ever do but you won't regret it. Take care and take all the help you can get, and be selfish about what you need to get you through from time to time too 👍🍀

[Lotto123 in reply to AJN7]

Thanks ajn7 🍀🙏

[Lotto123 in reply to AJN7]

I pray that wen she returns home from mbu therell be a considerable difference in not only the illness 🙏🙏🙏🙏but also her attitude as almost unbearable to live with.. i know this sounds selfish but for our kids enviroment mainly...🤞🤞🤞 thanks again 🍀

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123,

I have been reading through the thread and all those wonderful and encouraging replies.

I am pleased that your wife is in the MBU where she gets appropriate care and support.

I was sectioned to a Psychiatric hospital in 2010 and initially misdiagnosed, without any gynaecological support and often put into isolation, because of ongoing episodes.

My partner fought endlessly that I received humane treatment and put my case forward to an external professional team in order to get me released instead of sectioned further. After 39 days of horror I returned home, to my own sanctuary!

This illness is such a trauma for all husbands/partners and loved ones. My gratitude is always there for my wonderful partner, who stuck it out and cared for me and our baby full time for one year, before gradually returning to work.

I recovered from PPP, your wife will, too. Please, hang in there! Times will improve gradually and moments of happiness will increase.

My son is now 10, my big man and little man are the most caring guys on Earth.

Stay safe and take care of yourself. Wishing you inner strengths!

x

[PPuser42]

Hi Lotto123. I don't have much to add to what's been said, other than my partner suffered with PP, and has recovered from it. Time, care and medication will help your partner through it too. The illness is devastating, and it's amazing watching the recovery happen. Where we live, there is a strong NHS community mental health team who provided support for both of us individually during the recovery process at home. That's a resource to make sure you tap into if possible, and make sure they coordinate with the MBU.

One thing I'd add, my OH recovered from PP, then suffered a spell of Post Natal depression, which was almost as hard to deal with. It required another trip to the MBU for care, and took longer to recover from. Individual circumstances are always different, but I'd make sure you try and address that risk with your doctor/gp.

Your partner will come back. It will take time, and patience from you, but she's still in there.

As a previous commenter said, make a little time for yourself. You need to take a little time somewhere to clear your own head and breathe a little.

All the best, and ask any questions you want.

[Lotto123]

Thanks ppuser42 , partner still in mbu and talk of her and baby coming home soon..however , shes still having illusions and false realities daily but seems to be fooling the mental health staff in to thinking shes a lot better , i havent personally seen any change as yet , still lots of hatred and accusations in texts and phone calls but shes not letting her doctors know about this , she has removed me from the contact lists with the hospital staff and apparantly they are not allowed to speak to me about her condition ..I'm at a loss now, her parents are turning on me as they are believing her lies but they also arent making the doctors aware of her abuse and allegations towards myself...really hope this ends soon as she has been on full dose meds for 1-2 weeks now after many weeks in mbu on smaller doses..sorry to rant on but have no one else to confide in as dont want to drag family/freinds into this as they will become a target for her abuse also..pray that all this is just part of the illness and will end soon ..

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hello Lotto123,

I am sorry things are very hard at the moment. Can't imagine what you are going through now, seeing the person you love acting completely out of character.

It is a symptom of the illness to be very paranoid and have delusions. Sometimes the target of these is someone very close to the person experiencing ppp. The in laws are quite a common focus and on occasions even the partner.

The higher dose of medication she is on at the moment is an indication that her medical team is aware of her current state of mind, and hopefully the antipsychotics will start taking effect soon.

Take it one day at a time, hope and be patient that she will come back to herself. Don't worry too much about the external factors, you can't control the opinions of others, so let that wash over you, emotions run high in circumstances like this, because it is a very intense period.

Take care of yourself, we are always here to listen

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi lotto123 I’m so sorry things are still difficult, and it must be so hard that the MBU can’t tell you much either. It sounds like such a difficult situation.

As Emimum says it can be a part of the illness. I wonder if you can still feedback to the MBU what messages you’re receiving etc so that they are aware?

It must be so hard for you. I hope you can find a friend or family member to talk to as you are coping with so much? I remember my partner went to stay with a good friend for a weekend when I was in the MBU just to get a break.

Take care, thinking of you

Ellie

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123,

I am so sorry to read about the experiences you are enduring . It is such difficult times.

The cause of all consequences is this traumatising illness. In other words your wife is very poorly and it is not her fault that she is so terribly ill.

Your wife and baby is under professional care in an MBU and therefore receive the best possible treatment. I was not as fortunate, but 8 yrs later contributed within a family stake holder group to the development of a newly-build MBU based on lived experience. Therefore I just know that MBU's are the best facilities available for mums who suffer with PPP.

I believe Ellie (administrator) has got a valid point. Please do not give up and maybe you could communicate with one of the MBU specialists, who are caring for your wife, just to clarify some issues and communicate about your concerns and worries.

My partner looked after our baby whilst I was in a Psychiatric unit. I often was in isolation as they could not stop my episodes. I was experiencing inappropriate treatment, mis-diagnosis due to lack of training and knowledge of PPP and unfortunately at the time in 2010 there were not enough MBU beds available in our region/UK. Eventually I was released thanks to my partner's effort and ongoing perseverance in trying to communicate with relevant members of staff at the hospital.

I just can say that my partner like you went through so much pain. However, with all his love and kindness and our home sanctuary and beautiful baby my recovery improved gradually and I managed to wean off gradually from those very strong drugs, which saved my life. It is important to establish a support team and have a care plan for after care in place, something which will be organised by appropriate heath professionals.

My brain shut off for a while and I can not remember much of my "shadow-self' especially in the first 6 months throughout illness and recovery. For a long time I was like a vegetable as those traditional meds were so strong. My partner was my full time carer for one year.

Please do not give up and try to take care of yourself, too. I hope you have a support network, friends and/or family members who are listening and not judging. I wonder whether you can get any carers' support as the road of recovery requires lots of strengths. My partner said nowadays at the time of PPP the most difficult part was not to recognise the person he was in love with.

Thinking of you and your wife.

Stay safe.

[Lotto123 in reply to Pikorua]

Again thanks for your comments , just been told my wife is getting out in a few days ...should be great news but shes still having thoughts that ive been unfaithful ( not true ) ..she s also demanding no negativity but shes said so much hurtful stuff i find this impossible.. i just dont want my kids growing up in a war zone .. her family beleive every word she says and view me as the cause of her illness .. to say im gutted is an understatement .. soo disappointed in the medical teams ...i know she will end up having to get re admitted until she gets the correct help.. how can i care for her and the kids , and go to work .. the abuse is absolutely unreal.. ive had no contact from medical team to see my thoughts on this watsoever .. her family have made it clear that my opinions on her case are not helpful .. although everything i say is the truth .. ie nasty texts and falae accusations of been unfaithful .. im really at my wits end now..

[Ellie_at_APP Partner in reply to Lotto123]

Hi lotto123

I’m so sorry the situation is still so difficult, it sounds very hard.

Can you ask to have a meeting (which may have to be virtual?) by yourself, with her care coordinator / CPN / psychiatrist to express your concerns and how you feel, and share some of the messages you’ve received etc?

What support will she, and all of you receive once she’s at home? Is she getting support from a perinatal mental health team? Could you also talk with them , ahead of her coming home, about all these concerns?

Take care, I really hope you can find any support you need through this really difficult time.

Ellie

[Simon_at_APP APP in reply to Lotto123]

Hi Lotto123,

This is a really tough time your dealing with at the moment, it can feel so isolating being the dad, whilst also trying to be the 'strong' one.

There were times when I had to keep telling myself that this was the illness talking but it's really hard at the time to take some things that are said or done. Eventually though and with the right treatment, I started to see more and more glimpses of my wife returning.

I think Ellie's suggestion is a good one, if it's possible and would also be good for you to be able to tell them how your feeling too; pp affects the whole family.

Is your wife's release home a staged one?

My wife had a few hours at home to begin with, before returning to the MBU and then a weekend was planned (1 night stay), the first one of those had to be cancelled as she had a dip but was rescheduled later on; after that it was a week at home which was followed by a consultation, at which point we decided to remain home.

Take care.

Simon

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hello Lotto123,

I am sorry to hear things are so difficult right now. It is all quite overwhelming.

When I first got leave home from the MBU my bed was kept for me, in case I wanted to go back. Is it possible the same may be arrange for your partner?

I think Ellie suggests a very good approach, she will after all be discharged to your home, so it will be a very good idea to have a chat with her care coordinator and voice your concerns. And also ask about the after care.

I am really sorry the situation is so hard now. Is there a close friend you can talk to in confidence, for your own sanity? When things get too much it is healthy to take a step back and let go a little bit, otherwise you are running on fumes and its all too much.

Take good care, write here whenever you feel the need to, I hope that time and the right treatment can see your partner through this

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123

So sorry you are struggling and feel overwhelmed at the prospect of your wife coming home. You have already had some good ideas but I wonder if you could have a chat (probably over the phone in these times) with your GP too? It’s so important to take care of your own mental health.

As mentioned earlier I had PP many years ago but it was never spoken about due to stigma at the time. A few years ago I asked my GP for copies of my notes during my PP (I had PP twice, six years apart). When I read them, I was so sad to find out how I had behaved, almost as if I was a different person, argumentative and loud, caused by my delusions. All due to PP and not my fault.

I didn’t realise the friction there had been between my family and late husband. During my second recovery he became very unwell. Eventually we were stronger together and had many good times

I think when your wife does return home she will be closely monitored by her care team and you will be able to express any concerns. Take care ... we are all here to listen.

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123,

how are you doing today?

Some really got information and advise from our APP community.

just a very brief summative of what could be done;

1. I was sectioned for nearly 2 months in a mixed psychiatric gender unit. When finally my partner convinced the external professionals not to section me again, but to help me to get better a transition programme was established.

a) a few visits home with feedback session between my partner and health professionals

b) over night stay

c) full time back home, but with a care plan and professional support network including meds plan

2. A routine, which in the first 6 months I could not do independently, but needed my partner: re-learning and developing skills essential to be able to do house hold tasks, gaining confidence with our new born son, personal hygiene, going shopping...lots of basic tasks I could not accomplish anymore.

3. Establishing a support network of family and friends, which should be discussed with relevant professionals and incooperate into the care plan. My partner could not have done it without his parents and kind people around us. It actually shows a true character of friendship and family links when you are in desperate times.

4. It is essential to figure out what sort of support dads can get, especially if you have to be the carer.

5. Our professional link at the time: Hospital at the beginning, then GP working in cooperation with mental health team and in my case I was allocated a care-coordinator and a very good Psychiatrist.

My partner has been communicating endlessly in order to guarantee my rights, my freedom and to become the mum and partner I am today.

It will get better, this illness is traumatising for everybody involved, but please remember it is not your wife's character, but the illness at the moment.

Take good care and hope you can find appropriate support and can talk to the MBU team.

[Lotto123 in reply to Pikorua]

Hi pikoru, thanks again for lovely advice and comments. My wife came home this week but is continuing to put on a front for family and medical health professionals..as soon as there away the hatred and false accusations start , even more this time. Im told in not allowed to talk to health visitors and family blame me for telling the truth to them when they ask as they seem in denial to her symptoms and she also hides it all from them. I have tried my best for my family but feel im now left with no choice but to sneak out tomorrow when oldest goes to school..trust me this is the last thing i want to do but cant let my sons watch this abuse..she is also turning on neighbours with threats to attack them if she sees them. Im not going to tell her but will let her parents know when im gone..im absolutely devasted and am not taking this decision lightly..i feel so guilty but really cant continue this charade.. i fear she ll end up back in mbu or psychiatric ward alone this time..she needs the right help but refuses to tell the truth to thise who can help..sorry for lowering the positive mood of the group but cant really vent my frustrations to any1 else..kind regards and thanks again x

[Lotto123 in reply to Lotto123]

Hi again , didnt leave this morning as couldnt leave my kids , im just so worn out by these episodes and accusations , think i may need to get help as cant seem to talk to any close freinds as they become a target also.

[Fatimahg in reply to Lotto123]

So sorry for reading this so late. I had something very similar. She might need to be sectioned again. How is the medication going?

[Jocelyn_at_APP Partner APP]

Hi Lotto123,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Things sound extremely difficult for you.

As mentioned by others, I really encourage you to keep talking to the health professionals and look for support yourself. I know you said it difficult for you to talk to friends as they become a target too. But you need to take care of yourself and make sure you are being supported too. Could you try talking to your GP about support for yourself?

Take care of yourself.

[Connie2020]

Oh gosh it’s so sad to read all this, I had severe PND, my husband made it so much worse as he was so unsympathetic and nasty. I’m not suggesting that you are fir a second and now being a midwife I know that men suffer so much with lots of different reasons. Get support outside the house, take time for yourself, things will improve but she needs to get help too. I hope it works out for you, she doesn’t have a choice about her mental health x

[Simon_at_APP APP]

Hi Lotto123,

I'm so sorry to see you going through this difficult time. As others have said, it's really important to take care of yourself and if possible to get support too (I know it's easier said than done); maybe as Jocelyn mentioned, talking to your GP.

Also wonder if there's a carers or dads group, in your local area, which you could contact as well? Dependent on the area, we may have details already which we could pm to you.

Take care

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123

I hope you are well and your wife is feeling more settled at home. Have you been able to have ongoing support for yourself and your wife? It must be a struggle for you as your wife fights to be well again. Please remember that your wife is not in control of her thoughts and feelings and will sometimes be hostile towards you, as I was with my husband. Eventually she will be well, supported by your loving care.

You are coping with so much, so please take care of yourself.

[GeorgeKol]

Lotto i’ve read all the thread.

Same here for me. My wife had her first episode one year ago.

The symptoms for every person is different. My wife too had hallucinations and she had a really big worry if everyone was ok. She thought that something bad had happened and we didn’t tell her.We got her to hospital asap. The medicals took really good care of her.

Now one year after all this she is still on meds and supervision but she is already becoming to be the woman i fell in love with. She is gonna be changed as i am. All that was really difficult.

It just takes time and patience from our part.

My best advise is get help for yourself. I was dealing with this for so many time by myself. But this situation is tricky and soon i got overwhelmed. Except for this group i turned for help to a psychologist. And it helped my a lot to deal with whats happening in our life.

Brother i tell you this. Your woman is still there. She just need time and good medical support to get over this. You have to be patient and patient and patient... Take all the support you can from wherever it may come and try to push it as far as you can go.

I hope this will end soon for you and your wife and that you will return to your life eventually.

For everything you need we are here.

Take care.

George

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Lotto,you and your wife have been having such a difficult time, I hope that you have been able to access the right help for you both and that things are improving. I also hope that you have been able to take encouragement from all the wonderful, insightful posts here on the forum.

Thinking of you, hoping that you can have a peaceful Christmas and hope for a happy, healthy 2021.

Sending a virtual hug to you both,

Judith

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123

I hope you have been able to find support for yourself as your wife struggles to be well. You have had great strength to do what’s best for your wife and children, staying by their side. I hope you have found someone to listen and guide you through such a traumatic time for your family.

Please remember that your wife is not in control of her behaviour as she wrestles with her thoughts and feelings. At one stage during my recovery my husband had to sit on the floor as I would not allow his head to be higher than mine! At the time I was not directing my anger to my husband but to an image I had in my head, which no one else could see.

Wishing you and your family a brighter new year. Stay safe and take care.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Lotto123

Just wondering how you are after your last post a few months ago. I hope you managed to find help for yourself as you were in such a stressful situation at the time. Is your wife receiving ongoing care from professionals?

You have coped with so much for the love of your wife and children. Please know we are always here to listen and you will not be lowering the positive mood of the group as you thought. I am hoping that you are staying strong and positive as your wife recovers but please do take care of yourself. Thinking of you and your family. Stay safe.