Been off Olanzapine for 10 days now.

Hi all just a quick update. I have been off olanzapine for 10 days now and fingers crossed all seems to be going well. The only things I have to deal with now are bad dreams and my ongoing anxiety which I have had for over a year now. My anxiety centres around becoming unwell again and loosing my mind which I'm presuming is normal after such trauma. I am constantly mentally checking whether I feel well (hard to explain) and this can be exhausting. I'm still on 150mg of Venlafaxine but hope this will be reduced at my next consultants appointment. I'm also on promazine as and when I feel anxious and when needed diazepam which I only take after nightmares or when my anxiety becomes unbearable usually once every six weeks. I hope to be able to go on a family holiday to Spain next month and .... you guessed it .... I am anxious about this in case I become unwell while away from home. I am really interested to hear from anyone in the North West who has been through similar experiences as it can sometimes feel very lonely and no one understands this horrible illness. Anyway I hope others are continuing to get better .... let's keep fighting!!! X

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello bethanylj

Good to hear from you and I'm glad reducing your medication is going well. Anxiety is a big hurdle to overcome and I well remember how consumed I was by it. When my first son was a baby my doctor described me as an "anxious mother" noting that I would take him to be seen for the slightest cough or cold!

You are doing really well coping with your daughter on your own. I can understand your anxiety about being unwell on holiday but as long as you have your medication I think you will be fine. Will you be seeing your consultant before you go? Hopefully he will be able to reassure you if you talk openly and honestly about your fears.

Are you still volunteering at a local school? I imagine this is a good distraction. Do you still see the Psychologist to talk about anything and everything? PP is a unique illness and not easy to share with others who don't understand. That's why this forum is a great place to 'meet' other brave mums who have also been through the mill and totally understand.

As you say, keep fighting ...... take care.

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hi bethanylj,

Good to hear your update, I hope the meds reductions continue to go well for you. The anxiety can be so hard to control, I know, and it becomes cyclical at times - being anxious about being anxious almost! I hope the next appointment gives you some reassurance and you can start looking forward to your holiday too. Take care, as Lilybeth says, we are all here to "chat" and keep fighting alongside you. xx

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Bethanylj

Thanks for your post...really good to hear you've managed to come off Olanzapine.

Sorry to hear you feel anxious about becoming unwell again. Like you say it's such a natural response, but I know anxiety is such a debilitating thing.

I've had similar fears, I'm sure everyone has. Like you say it's because we've been through so much trauma. I even have occasional thoughts now, 5 years on, hoping I won't become ill, or aware that I didn't get enough sleep and don't feel quite right... I do think it will lessen in time.

I did wonder if you have had any counselling to deal with these thoughts? CBT or just general counselling to talk through the trauma of the illness? I found CBT really helpful, and I think it could really help with anxiety around becoming ill again.

Take care, I hope you continue to get better. X