I can't believe it's almost a year since I joined this forum and posted "part 1" of my PP story. Just to let you that all is well but going very slow. I am still waiting for a decision from the Ombudsman as they are themselves waiting for a medical adviser's report. I guess it is a good sign that they are taking their time as at least it means that the case is being taken seriously and in all its complexity but I am still impatient to know the outcome as it will have an impact on what I do next in terms of medical negligence. I also found an official organisation which monitors mental welfare in my part of the UK and I could use this to make sure that my experience does trigger some changes and make a difference to others' treatment in the future.
My ex partner and I are going back to court. My lawyer (who specialises in representing people with mental health problems/history) adopted a soft approach first by trying to negotiate amicably. My ex refused and did not bother to reply to any of her letters on the grounds that he would only negotiate with me. Except we cannot agree and he won't allow me to have consistent 50/50 contact. He's not one to waste money so I am worried about how he is going to justify himself on why it's ok for my daughter to spend 48 hours/week with me but not 77 (which is what I am asking). And it's so frustrating being so limited in time with her, I keep seeing this event or that activity I'd like to take her to but can't if it's outside my 2 days unless I ask my ex and he can and often does say "no". Even if I'm early to pick her at the bus stop close to her nursery, he won't let me go in the nursery itself so to this day, I have never seen the inside of where she spends most of her time. I am sick of not being on an equal footing with him and having to seek his permission to parent my daughter the way I see fit. His parenting is, of course, beyond reproach even though my daughter somehow already says things that make me cringe like "For f*ck's sake" or "Shut up!". I don't speak English to her and she's only 2 and a half so there aren't many ways she could have acquired that kind of vocabulary.
Going back to court is obviously more expensive so I've had to apply for more legal aid and am now waiting for a decision on that too. My psychiatrist has been asked to provide an up to date report and I need to find out whether legal aid are waiting for that to make a decision. I hope not as this could seriously delay proceedings.
I also saw a documentary on the BBC where the court asked social services for a recommendation. So I need to ask my lawyer if this could happen in my case as, as you may remember, social services have not handled the whole thing very well, their last decision being that I should only see my little girl 2 hours once a month supervised by at least 2 people in a public place. When I told them I had been misdiagnosed, they refused to believe me and said I was in denial about my personality disorder. When faced with evidence that the series of decisions they had made was really based on a misdiagnosis and therefore totally wrong, they refused to reopen the case and when I opened a new one, they closed it instantly saying it was now a "civil matter". If it is indeed a civil matter, they should logically keep their nasty nose out of it but given what they've done to us as a family and to me as a mentally ill individual at the time, I wouldn't put it past them to get involved and paint me yet again as a manipulative person and unfit mother.
This brings me to the last part of my update: all the horrible stuff social services did and said. I have just started the process of putting *something* together. I did not realise this until recently but where I live, what they have written about me constitutes libel/defamation. A text doesn't need to be in the public domain to qualify for that, it can even a private letter to the person in question. So I am weighing up my options as to what to do about them....
A complaint to them directly about all the wrong decisions they made regarding my relationship with my daughter? To the Information Commisioner's Office for them holding inaccurate and offensive information about me? But then the ICO does not look at what they deem to be statements of opinion. Through the Equality and Advisory Support Service for discrimination against my race and gender? But before turning to the EASS, I think I need to complain to the organisation itself first. And of course the mental welfare commission mentioned above for their mental health department's refusal to asses me/intervene when I was seriously ill.
As you can see, lots of avenues to consider and explore. If you can think or know of anything else, your feedback, words of advice and support and encouragement are most welcome. It is hard not to lose heart and focus at times but my daughter's cheeky smile, kisses, cuddles and tickles keep me going. I have to get justice, if not for me, at least for her. Thank you very much again for reading and being there.
Anne x
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