First time mum, breasfeeding - I've been off the meds for 3+ months now and have been struggling with insomnia on/off ever since. When the insomnia is really bad, my emotional state consequently suffers - it gets really hard to appreciate all the progress that I've made and not feel depressed. However, all these depressive symptoms go away when I have a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, this situation caused me to develop somewhat of a sleep anxiety. Has anyone been in a similar situation where it got better without the heavy sleep medication?
I'm doing therapy, meditate, have good sleep hygiene, but nothing seems to be too effective, especially once the sleep anxiety casts a little doubt in my head. I even tried heavier meds (antihistamines, as recommended by my psychiatrist), but that didn't do much other than sedate me (without sleep).
A bit of background:
In the hospital I was put on Seroquel (300mg), after having been given Olanzapine initially. In addition to being mistreated at the Special Care Unit (verbal abuse by the nurses, male nurses walking in on me in the shower, etc) before transferring to MBU, I also feel like I was over-medicated by the treating doctors.
I continued to express milk while at the hospital, which allowed me to breastfeed. It was my choice to BF, and I honestly believe that it was the only thing that saved my sanity through the whole hospital experience. I definitely didn't feel like the treating doctors had my best interest in mind.
After being discharged from the hospital, I went to seek a second opinion to help me reduce the meds and eventually come off completely. I am very grateful to be off the meds now and to feel like myself again. So I am reluctant to go back to the psychiatrist to be put on anti-depressants.
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Climber-mum
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Hello Climber-mum,Welcomed and congratulations on the birth of your baby. I am sorry to hear you suffered from pp after and that you are currently struggling with insomnia, it has been my experience as well that a good night sleep has an incredible effect on my mood.
I am sorry to hear that you did not have a good experience while at hospital either, it is a very traumatic time and not getting the right support in the early recovery period makes everything very difficult. I am pleased to hear that you are feeling more like yourself again.
I had pp in 2018 and felt I recovered after a period of a year and some, this year given all that is going on, I had insomnia for some months. It started in April for me and as you said I tried to keep a good sleep routine, have some herbal teas before bed, meditation apps, but on some nights my thoughts will race about and I could find no peace.
I was prescribed sleeping pills by my GP, which the first time I took gave me a massive headache the next day, and I would still wake up in the middle of the night and take a couple of hours on the good days to go back to sleep. I took them for 8 or 9 days and stopped, resigned to have broken sleep for a while. In the summer it peaked again for me and my anxiety climbed up, due to family situations. I again spoke to my surgery (another GP this time) and he prescribed me some benzodiazepine for a week, that worked much better for me and slowly I recovered a more regular sleep pattern. Since then I have done some CBT for anxiety and that has also had a very positive effect on my sleep, you can self-refer to the service, there are long waiting lists, but you are on the perinatal period so must have priority. One of the techniques that had the best results with my thoughts at night, was to keep a notebook by my bed and write down anything that was keeping me awake so I could worry about it in the morning and not in the middle of the night.
Recovery from pp can be very up and down and takes its time, and for me at least I feel it is a work in progress, I pay a lot of attention now to my mental health and I keep myself tuned in to any early signs of a dip. I think its very normal to feel that way.
I just wanted to end by saying that, although a bad experience can do a lot of damage (and I very much regret that this happened to you) that doesn't mean that every interaction with a professional is also going to be a bad one, and if you feel that you need to approach someone for help, please don't hesitate. It isn't fair that you feel cagey about talking openly with your psychiatrist, you can have a conversation and jointly decide on a way forward that you feel comfortable and happy with. If you feel this is not possible with your current consultant, you can ask for a second opinion referral.
Take good care, and hope that the insomnia eases up a bit, write here whenever you feel like it
I just wanted to reply as I also have suffered from insomnia since my ppp episode in 2018.
I have taken olanzapine, which worked for a while and then stopped working (no idea why) and have also tried sleeping tablets which were effective but not for long term, and am now in mirtazapine which helps with my sleep but I have read real scare stories about weaning off it so am now terrified to stop taking it.
I too would like to be medication free but am just not sure if I can be. My insomnia also triggers depression and suicidal thoughts. It’s not somewhere I’d like to go back to.
So anyway, I don’t have any advice for you but wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. And also that I am following your message (and replies) if any people may have good advice out there.
Hi I suffered from PP in 2011 and also suffered from insomnia when I came off Olanzapine. What eventually worked for me was acupuncture as I was also reluctant to medicate again. I was lucky in that I lived near an an affordable community acupuncture centre but you you talk to your GP. It did take about 6 weeks to work and possibly I would have eventually been able to sleep without this intervention. I was also advised to change my diet as I was lacking in Magnizium and Iron.
Anyway that was in 2012 and luckily I haven't experienced sleep issues since (apart from being awakened by my child!). Good luck there is light at the end of the tunnel.
So glad you have reached out to the forum all the way from Australia
It must have been awful to experience the trauma you describe in the SCU before transferring to the MBU. It’s good that you have therapy and also meditate.
I had PP many years ago followed by depression and I think you have done really well to be off meds now. I can understand your reluctance to be put on anti-depressants but perhaps you could just mention your sleep anxiety to your care team for advice?
I’m not sure whether you will be able to access the Mind charity at mind.org.uk but they have a page about sleep anxiety / insomnia, with a short blog, film clips and experiences.
I think, as suggested earlier in the helpful replies, keeping a pen and paper at the side of your bed to make a note of your worries so that you tell yourself you can think about them the next day, is helpful.
As you are in Australia there is also a charity called “Mama Tribe” specifically to support mums in Australia and New Zealand. They have a Facebook page and are partnered with the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE) so that might be helpful to connect with other mums locally and share experiences? We are always here too.
Being a new mum isn’t easy but more than anything .... remember how amazing you are Stay safe ad take care.
Thank you so much, Maria_at_APP , Milliemillie , Poppy01 , Lilybeth . This really means a world to me to feel like I'm not alone in this struggle and that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing acupuncture from the day I got out of the hospital and that's been helping tremendously (although I only go about once per month). I will certainly look at Mama Tribe and the Mind charities for sleep anxiety.
I have developed PTST from my experience at the SCU and I notice that when I lay awake at night I can't stop thinking about how horrible that whole experience was and this feeds into my insomnia, creating the vicious circle that is very hard to get out of. So, I am also starting EMDR therapy in January (not sure if anyone has tried that??), as recommended by my therapist. Hopefully this would help with easing that vicious circle a bit.
a happy first advent! We've put up the tree yesterday in the UK and start decorating today, because my son wants the elves to come. Yep, we've got 2 naughty elves, Bob 1 and 2.
Deep down I believe my son has figured it all out about father Christmas.
It has been 10.5 yrs. ago, when I became so terribly poorly and eventually was sectioned. My partner had PTS many years later, because the experience in the hospital had been "un-dignifying" and "inhumane".
I found APP 5 yrs. later & at the time still suffering terribly from Insomnia and rumination, terrible mind-racing. If you delve deep into the human psychic, there is quite a complexity. I can see some similarities with your situation, but at the end we are unique and coping mechanisms depends on many factors, such as your environment and whether you have not too many stressors going on, but also genes, your biological make up etc.
In my viewpoint there is a connectiveness with anxiety and fear and sleep patterns. It took a long time to find a routine and to be able to sleep again. Grief was another factor of my extreme hyper activity. I slept on average 3-4 hours for many years and yes, sleep deprivation is great suffering, not only for yourself, but all the loved ones around you.
1. I have had to have a second opinion 8 yrs. later and was finally diagnosed with Bipolar 1, whereby anxiety and sleeping disorder is part of my chronical condition. However, remember recovery after PPP does vary as you can reflect upon the other contributions.
2. Like you I find meditation and other relaxation techniques extremely useful. When triggers arise at home I go upstairs, put my chakra balancing on and either try to relax on my bed or have a bath with Epson salt.
3. I find Aroma-therapy incredibly useful.
4. Like you I do not like chemicals and just live with natural and herbal remedies. I use CBD oil, which has helped me to get a sleeping routine; meaning I go upstairs always at the same time in the evening and read and then iPod meditation.
5. Exercising and diet is important.
6. I am tracking my moods and journalise a lot.
7. Hobbies and studying is great.
Wishing you well and hope the experiences of other mothers helps you to find a tailor made remedy for your needs only x
You are definitely not alone! Years ago when I found the forum it was like a huge comfort blanket was wrapped around me with all the lovely support I found here
I hope you will be able to connect to the Mind charity link. If you can access the page and click on Information and Support, then under ‘S’ in the A-Z of mental health you will find the helpful pages. I haven’t experienced EMDR therapy but I think it has been mentioned on the forum before. I hope you can find some relief in time.
Great you found the forum. Insominia is awful and has such a knock on effect. Sleep really is key isn't it?
I think from all the replies its clear to see many can relate.
I have suffered insomnia. Although its not so much a problem these days thanks to meds I've been on for the past 10years. I have bipolar so do still take medication long term.
I am curious as to how old your little one is? Also whether you are still feeding (particularly during the night?) I breastfed all 3 of my children, really loved it and kept it going for as long as was practical for myself.
I'm just wondering if in the past you must have fed whilst on medication and therefore have a choice to go back onto the same medication for a little while?. I do understand your feelings around not wishing to be back on meds. It does take a long time to recover from PP and could it be that you have come off medications just a little too early.
My(now teenage) daughter has insomnia and delayed sleep cycle as a big part of her chronic illness. Obviously being a child Consultants have been very reluctant to give any medication for this. She has used many of the great techniques and self help that people have mentioned above and to some success. However, when she turned 16 the consultant offered her Melatonin to try. Its not a sedative and does not keep you asleep. It simply prompts your body to sleep in a bit more of a natural way. It also doesn't have to be taken daily. She has been on this for 3 months and is getting some relief although on really bad nights when anxiety is high it does not help much.
I hope all the replies are of some help with considering how best to try and combat this horrible symptom
Just read in the title of your post that little one 7 months b you have been off meds 4months post PP doh. You really have been doing well so early in recovery
you are absolutely not alone, I have suffered with insomnia after olanzapine and 2 episodes of PP - the traumatic experience definitely definitely plays a part as well as stress of working with no childcare during lockdown etc. I found a course of CBT very helpful and what that really made clear was that we all need to prioritise self care, a walk, bath or something just for us which isn't easy with little ones. Taking some time to relax and de-stress is very important. I was also recommended lots of herbal remedies and vitamins which I feel do help a bit and i'm gradually getting more sleep. It makes such a difference to how you feel and your coping mechanisms when you get decent quality sleep. I hope things improve! x
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