Has anybody experienced slapping themselves when their baby is crying to save them from harming their baby?

[JessicaAmartey]

[raspberries]

I have taken to biting my tongue or pinching myself to avoid try distract myself from the feelings of wanting to harm all 3 of my chidren and my partner, they call it a coping mechanism but I don't feel its helpful. I would tell whoever you regularly see how you feel. I feel my crisis team tell me I'm ok with the thoughts and I won't receive further help until I actually harm myself or someone else which scares me. I'm not much help sorry, just wanted to say you're not alone in how you feel. X

[Naomi_at_app Volunteer]

Hi Jessica

Many of us have experienced distressing thoughts as part of our illness. When incredibly low and suicidal I too went through a period of hitting myself almost to punish myself for feeling so terrible. You're not alone but hurting yourself isn't the answer and can be very distressing for your partner and loved ones to see.

Are you able to talk to your partner and health professionals about the thoughts of harming yourself instead of your baby? It can be really difficult to cope with thoughts like this alone so I would encourage you to tell someone as soon as you can. Do you have family around at the moment who could help out when baby cries?

When you feel the urge to hit yourself maybe try other strategies such as breathing deeply, counting slowly to ten or repeating a comforting phrase such as "this will pass".

Hope you are able to talk to a supportive health professional soon. Let us know how things go.

Naomi

[andrea_at_app Volunteer]

Hi Jessica,

I'm sorry you're having these awful thoughts, they can be shocking & very scary. It's good that you're aware they're only thoughts & you're trying to distract yourself from them. The techniques Naomi has suggested sound far better ways of distracting yourself though.

Yes it's so hard feeling distant from your baby & not feeling like you're doing the usual mothering things very well. I felt distant for quite some time but the bonding & the confidence does come eventually - it just takes a bit longer when you're ill with PND.

Postnatal Depression is actually quite different from PP so maybe you'd get more helpful advice from women with experience of that instead? There's a lovely PND community here: healthunlocked.com/pniorguk.

I'm not sure if this will help but there's another community here with threads on self-harm that might be helpful, 'Anxiety Support': healthunlocked.com/anxietys...

All the best & I hope this eases up for you soon.