In addition to this online community,... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

88,085 members82,652 posts

In addition to this online community, where do you find the best support?

ADAAadmin2 profile imageADAAadmin2705 Voters
215
I struggle with finding support outside this community forum
125
My Spouse or partner
125
My Therapist
92
My pet
76
My friend(s)
72
My parents/siblings
87 Replies
Eddie83 profile image
Eddie83

The poll did not include "other", with a text box to type in. I have occasionally used socialanxietysupport.com.

Cathy63 profile image
Cathy63 in reply to Eddie83

I would have chosen "other" if it was there. I guessed on the closest one to my answer.

CuddlyPanda profile image
CuddlyPanda in reply to Cathy63

I would also of chosen other if it was there, so I also chose the closest one to my answer

TailWags profile image
TailWags in reply to Eddie83

I eoukd choose chocolate and whiskey.

RichardzHealth profile image
RichardzHealth in reply to TailWags

That's "funny" (as in interesting), for this year more than others, I'm finding that I seek out, purchase and consume more dark chocolate than ever before.

...Also, I'll admit I've been "drinking" (vodka concoctions) more too, but the latter seems to have been normalized for 2020.

I've appreciated your response, TailWags, along w/the others. Thanks.

None of the above. I have friends but I don't tell them much of what is going on with me. I am out of touch with my family. "Other" should be listed as a possible answer. I use Facebook communities, have groups that at least keep me connected, and sometimes use the local mental health centers.

Look4ward profile image
Look4ward in reply to

Agreed.

ADAAadmin2 profile image
ADAAadmin2

If you do not see a choice that applies to you, please feel free to share by replying. I would add an "other" but can't edit the poll. Thanks for the suggestion.

Cathy63 profile image
Cathy63 in reply to ADAAadmin2

For me it's a family member not listed above. We have the same feelings of depression and anxiety and understand each other. I clicked on "My friend(s)" since I consider all my family members my friends.

selko profile image
selko

I talk with my spouse about it, but my friends help just a little bit more. Nothing wrong with that, but you get so used to your spouse telling you everything will be okay and sometimes you subconsciously take it with a grain of salt.

RedLeatherYellow profile image
RedLeatherYellow in reply to selko

It’s tough

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye

this community is my main support, actually I really don't have anyone else I can count on. People who haven't had anxiety or depression seem to think you should snap out of it or get a grip. My family and my husband are tired of it so I don't talk about it to them. They seem to think I've had enough time, spent too much money, and asked for more than enough sympathy . I've spent most of my adult life taking care of them and doing it very well.Obviously I have some bitterness about the situation. I try not to dwell on it for my own sake, but it's there.My Doctors are a joke, I get the most relevant information from nurses and other patients Reading material can also be helpful. People tell me I have changed and although I won't admit it , I have. I don't count on or trust anyone any longer.Pam

.

Eddie83 profile image
Eddie83 in reply to sweetiepye

If you haven't looked at endocrine causes of anxiety & depression, please do! It is well known that thyroid failure (often with accompanying adrenal arrhythmia/deficiency) can cause anxiety, depression, and panic attack. Unfortunately, the average MD is clueless about diagnosing any of this, and almost all of them think a TSH test is sufficient to diagnose the state of the thyroid system - which it isn't.

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye in reply to Eddie83

I've had 2 TSH test, the numbers are normal. What would the next step be?

Eddie83 profile image
Eddie83 in reply to sweetiepye

The main problems with the TSH test are: (1) It does not tell you if you are harboring Hashimoto's autoimmune thyroiditis, (2) it does not tell you if your body is converting enough T4 to T3, (3) the "normal" range for the TSH test is excessively broad. The full test panel that is used by knowledgeable docs to cover all bases for hypothyroidism is: TSH/FT3/FT4/rT3/TPOAb/TGBAb. Of these, the most important is FT3; FT3 must be in the upper half of its reference range to conclude that you are getting sufficient T4->T3 conversion. For instance, my last FT3 was 4.26 pg/ml on a scale of 2.77-5.27, so it is about 60% up in range. Of course, other things can affect thyroid, such as taking estrogen+progesterone. And adrenals also figure in this, the best test (which MDs usually will not do) is a 5-sample saliva test that allows you to see adrenal rhythm and level.

Dogloverintucson profile image
Dogloverintucson in reply to Eddie83

I'm curious about this having hypothyroid. People in my family have had Hashimotos. For two years the doctors didn't check for thyroid disorder when I felt awful...I believe because I didn't gain weight...I think I had it all that time.

Eddie83 profile image
Eddie83 in reply to Dogloverintucson

There is an excessive level of cluelessness about thyroid problems, among US and UK allopathic docs. The majority of them do not realize there are 300+ symptoms attributable to hypothyroid and its associated adrenal-stress symptoms. You should seek out thyroid patients+experts like Izabella Wentz, Mary Shomon, Hypothyroidmom, etc. on the web. Also there are many alternative/functional medicine types on Youtube who talk about Hashimoto's and the gut health connection.

AnxietyHell profile image
AnxietyHell in reply to Eddie83

My gp done blood tests to check my thyroid. He says my hormones are slightly high but nothing to worry about, what exactly does this mean? My doctor is also very unhelpful and pretty useless!! My mum had an under active thyroid and has had hers removed, is this genetic? She also suffers from depression.

Gentlespirit12345 profile image
Gentlespirit12345 in reply to sweetiepye

I totally understand where your coming from because i did everything for my family and then some yet I'm like the scapegoat and disrespected at time. Theres some hurt too and I've changed too. I am a lot more distrustful of people and I'm cynical of the system and people. Tied of being in a lose lose situation yet I've learned the hard way money and title talks and b.s walks.

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye in reply to Gentlespirit12345

You are so right about the money and the b.s.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to Gentlespirit12345

I had to learn the same lessons, and pay dearly along the way.

Nothing_but_books profile image
Nothing_but_books in reply to sweetiepye

Wow does that hit home.

Joshgw profile image
Joshgw in reply to sweetiepye

My family are sick of me talking about it too. My wife has completely shut down and I get no emotional support. We're in couples therapy at least, but I don't know how much time I have if she really is going to leave. We have a 12 year old son which makes things really difficult.

And is difficult on this venue as so many just complain, often with headers that worry us that they are in a suicide mode, but then we find out they were just trying to get attention, and so few are decent enough to reply and offer support, that we simply are worn out and so some just don't bother to read the posts any more and have messaged each other privately to be reaching someone and asking that they not give up replying and privately message those who do try to help so we know we'll actually reach someone who cares about someone or something other than their own immediate 'discomfort'.....We know who we are because we see the same ones writing thoughtful replies to posts. And we are not posting our minor aches and pains...usually just don't post at all after a few weeks as is of no help except some one preaching God is the answer. We always seem to start our PM with hopes they didn't mind us taking that liberty. I gave up asking for thoughts on anything important to me on the regular post after receiving reply that he didn't belong to this venue to help others but because he needed help, so he wouldn't reply to my issue.

I think I have posted only 3 times....when I was stupid enough to think it actually mattered. Once to say I was new member, once to say my service dog of over 12 years had died, and once to say after two weeks was still missing my service dog, and was just sad, and there was no need to reply. (I knew the ones that cared understood.) Guess what.....those same people who never complain, but I know from their PM they have serious issues and would like some support in the replies, and have resorted to PM, are the same people who have been sending me replies and pms that are very insightful, caring, and comforting during this time of loss of my service dog, who without him I would have been stuck at home all the time. No one else sent squat, other than the venue administrator.

Think maybe there is a serious problem here. But, thank you for trying. Is there a different on line support group you can recommend, where we don't need to resort to PM to actually reach others who care, because maybe we were raised differently not to always just post negative matters but helpful ones or are further along in understanding ?

AnxietyHell profile image
AnxietyHell in reply to

I simply want to say that I can totally relate to your sadness and pain on losing your service dog. I suppose my dog was an unofficial service dog. She was my world and since I had to make that horrific decision to put her to sleep as, long story short, her last couple of months she was in pain and suffering. I too am now stuck in my home which feels like a prison now as without my baby girl I find it impossible to get out. Losing our babies is just as traumatic and hurtful as losing a human loved one. I hate those people who give me strange looks, as if to say she was "only a dog" . It's been over 2 years but still feels like yesterday. I feel your pain and suffering and just wanted you to know the loss of a pet is one of the hardest thing we can go through. And, the love you felt for your service dog, still feel! Is one of the strongest bonds to be broken!

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to

I agree with much of this answer.

blOndie08 profile image
blOndie08

I really loved my psychologist but due to insurance change I could no longer see her. 😪 It shouldn't be this way for anyone, I detest changing doctors.

Adele_01 profile image
Adele_01

I would've chosen both friends and family if I had the option, maybe the next poll can allow more than one choice?

Opossumish profile image
Opossumish

I agree with lots of these comments. I've developed a vast support network to help me with my illness, and it includes my husband, friends, family,pets, and mental health professionals. I'd like an "all of the above" option, to truly reflect the complexity of recovery and the benefits of a multi -modal support structure.

ADAAadmin2 profile image
ADAAadmin2 in reply to Opossumish

That's great that you have been able to create such a great support network. You are very lucky. I think we only wanted to allow one choice because we are looking to find out which demographics we could reach out to so that we can also help them understand the struggles of their loved ones. Other than pets, of course, but I know how important they are so wanted to include that too.

JaneDoe47 profile image
JaneDoe47

So I have a psychiatrist but I only see him every 3 months. I talk to him but even after all these years, I know he's listening, but I don't know that he hears everything I say. So because of that, I don't open up as much as I should and just let it all flow naturally. But he's a whole lot better than the counselor I saw once before him. The counselor, when I turned to look at him, was yawning. Makes you feel he wants to help? Never went back.

STAFFORD profile image
STAFFORD

My guinea pigs give me lots of love and support but care and breavement have given me loads of love and support.

thank you

Stafford (Staff)

Bekay profile image
Bekay

She is a listener. She has some advice too.

cRay112 profile image
cRay112

I don't have anyone to tell my problem I didn't know I was adhd,anxiety disorder,depression until 47 I couldn't understand why wasn't my life going as watch my family and friends progress in life and everybody new that I had mental issues but excepted me my family had lead me to believe that I was normal I new that something was wrong and I beg for to tell me know one say a word they just let me get cough up out here they was happy until I was cough up I really never had any friends i had never leaned any coping skills all ever is my family and they no that and now there isn't anything going right in my life there is no to be find I have know job and I'm not know kind of position to work and than I have my son terrorized me stead keep me unstable I don't know what to do they have thought all clothes and away I don't have nothing

MarjorieJL profile image
MarjorieJL in reply to cRay112

Please know that you are NOT alone, try to do one positive thing a day and be proud of yourself, you are here for a reason. I will listen to you. There are places to go for support, too

I think that one of the best forms of support is personal, such as talking to someone who you trust. As mentioned, it can be professional, family or a friend.

GM1954 profile image
GM1954

All my family are mean and willnot do anything for me. I suffer alone. Thanks for listening.

Gentlespirit12345 profile image
Gentlespirit12345 in reply to GM1954

My heart goes out to u. Doing volunteer work and active in church i try to find some solace in a few people who are not toxic. Anyone can be toxic. Its not easy to find people who truly care about u. Widen your scope and try being around other people. Volunteer work or explore a hobby

SORRELHIPPO profile image
SORRELHIPPO

I had trouble choosing between Therapist and friends, however the Therapist is better at making me face truth, friends better at comforting. No longer have a husband he died 4 years ago, but more drove me to insanity than helped. Would love a pet, if I could get fitter, I have a longterm chronic physical condition ( Crohn's Disease) which contributes to my problems and sometimes isolation.

AnxietyHell profile image
AnxietyHell

My dog got me through years of anxiety and depression. She came everywhere with me. My friends and family helped but only to a certain extent. My dog was definitely my main source of support. Nearly 2 years ago she developed a couple of health conditions which eventually led to me making the hardest decision of my life, to have her put to sleep as she was in constant pain. I know it was the kindest thing for her but now my life feels empty. My anxiety and depression has got worse, I dread each day before it arrives. Most days I don't even get washed or dressed. To make it even worse the two friends that understood my illness the most and the only 2 people on earth I could openly talk to are both gone. 3 years ago one of my best friends died of cancer, he fought it for 6 months. My other best friend took his own life out of the blue, he hung himself. I only see my family once every week or two, I put on a front a pretend I'm doing fine as I don't want to worry them......My brother and mum also suffer from depression. I feel so alone in this world, I often think about ending it but the effect my friends suicide had on his family, friends and myself.....I could never put my family through such a thing! I'm lost and lonely, I don't know what to do???????

Gentlespirit12345 profile image
Gentlespirit12345 in reply to AnxietyHell

Seek a hobby or take a class or do something for u. Today i decided to go to bingo and had a great time. It was from 11 to 2 and it helped. I'm going to try and see about a part time job 2 times a week. I'm hoping I'll be able to manage anyway I'm going to try.

I decided on struggle on find support but that's not entirely close. I would have gone with other which is I don't have anything that I guess I'm willing to do outside and maybe even in the community here.

dbcardew profile image
dbcardew

About the most helpful thing has been power of positivity. powerofpositivity.com/ and audio books by Louise L. Hay who started out rough family and homeless. I've been unemployed for 5 months right after my divorce. I have worked as a Jack of all trades in offices for over 20 years following newspaper column writing. I have even gone back to community college to get more business and bookkeeping skills. I have run out of savings. I've never had trouble finding work before. It's very discouraging late at night when everything is closed. I fall asleep to Louise when it gets bad which is where I am now. I'm only in my early fifties. I hear people my age are in the same boat as me, but I never meet them. Anybody else out there like me?

Jrv2018 profile image
Jrv2018

I’ve done so much research and tried so long I just don’t know where to start

My boyfriend does help me at moments but I haven't told him how bad my anxiety is as I am not the person to want to go see a therapist even though I probably should. I am just afraid of what people will think of me and how I react to people

Sandyblues profile image
Sandyblues

This is the only place that I can find for support!New genuine friends very welcome x

MinaNostalgia profile image
MinaNostalgia

Other should be an option. For me it's YouTube. There are people that I admire that have the same issues as me and they found a creative outlet for their mental health issues, used that outlet to inspire others and gain financial stability and beyond. Sadly, sometimes I feel like this group exacerbates my issues. It's doesn't always feel like support. It's like depression, the comment section. I know that's because I have a warped idea of support. I think I'd benefit from someone to walk with and talk with about other things because I have a therapist to discuss my issues with, but I want a support group to be able to actively support someone else and receive their support in turn.

I get alot of support on support groupscentral . com

babygirl1952 profile image
babygirl1952

I have 2 Therapist

BrSand72 profile image
BrSand72

Not sure about this community, I'm new so I figure I will give it a try to see what happens it won't hurt

Don't have anyone else, come here as thought others were in the same position but from the only replies I have had have been people who are preaching to me or trying to from books, and I do not want to have people like this answering my posts, don't like it at all. Maybe after having this experience on this site is not where I should be, what do you think?

My former spose was abusive and did covert abuse. Hes convinced our kids of some things that are not true so except for a few church friends and this site thats all the support i have. I'm distrustful of doctors because my abuser is a doctor.

AlLeYkAt86- profile image
AlLeYkAt86-

I find it fascinating that so many struggle finding support, myself included.

BonnieSue profile image
BonnieSue

I chose my spouse/partner but my therapist is almost as strong a support as well.

Annapolisgal profile image
Annapolisgal

Why has no one posted in 2years?

Scriction profile image
Scriction

This should have been an Approval Voting poll where you can select multiple options

All_alone profile image
All_alone

My pet

I find much support from local F2F peer-facilitated groups. Too bad this wasn't an option.

At least have an Other option so that responders can include their own sources.

I have no family or friends. My wife has passed. I am alone. I will make it or not by myself. Who cares?

She understands anxiety very well and we connected pretty fast. I can be open and upfront with her. It took a few Therapist's to find the right one and she's incredibly supportive. I was seeing her twice a week now it's twice by phone which is great but I think it's a bit of a setback because I was working on social anxiety..

Yamagata profile image
Yamagata

I'm not good at asking for help. My dog feels like my best friend even though she is so spoiled.

12345670877 profile image
12345670877

My nem is georgia knoll

RichardzHealth profile image
RichardzHealth

"Other"/A likely unhealthy attachment to an overstimulating at times, something with someone that will never be. -Essentially my ongoing intellectual and emotionally anguish inducing fondness with an in-person mental health management/treatment program's "employee", who "won't (and I get it... To a degree) at least acknowledge me as a friend" despite how our "relationship" has been over the years.

Virtually, I also have a newly self-acknowledged "emotional" (at least) fondness for my current therapist. Interacting with him for like 50 minutes a week, grants me an intellectually unsubstantiated, ever so fleeting notion of someone I like genuinely caring about me.

-Trying Not to Ramble-

mahasdwy profile image
mahasdwy

meditation

kenster1 profile image
kenster1

I don`t have any help.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to kenster1

That's sad to hear. Please post whenever you need to share. You are often helpful yourself.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1 in reply to Roxylox

yeah I post when things are on my mind people have been great to me over the years on here hopefully that continues.started therapy again just about the time of this post but 12 sessions didn`t scratch the surface so just plod on and help myself as best I can.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to kenster1

I forgot about the time gap between your post and now. You probably have the wisdom to help yourself pretty successfully.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1 in reply to Roxylox

not been feeling great for a few days just took myself a walk down the graveyard sat at my sons grave in the nice sunshine things like that empty my mind of negativity.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to kenster1

Good that it helps. That loss must be tremendous, can imagine as a mother of 3. I read your back post in your profile as your post didn't lead me back here as usually happens.,so I am aware of what happened.

Re post about the teenage brain, I often feel I'm still stuck in the 80's, when I was a teenager, maybe because that decade was carefree, and full of friends for me.

propjock profile image
propjock

Other - Living Grace group at church. mentalhealthgracealliance.org

Lotus-Blossom profile image
Lotus-Blossom

I like stroking my two poms as they have a calming affect on me looking at them just melts my heart as they are so cute.

But I do feel at times I need to speak to a therapist, hopefully when we can get back to normal.

Dang! I was thinking this was a multiple choice thing.. Okay my friends are the best source. My dog listens and doesn't judge, opine or diagnose. She listens and then gives me a few "licks" of approval and unconditional love. My therapist gets in my face and dosen't let me get off easy. No partner, parents are long deceased and I don't have anything to do with my sibling. She and I are diametrically opposed in our thinking

in reply to

It's interesting to me how parents and siblings were so low on the list!!!!! I think for many people, certain family members can be toxic and triggering and really in some ways part of the problem themselves even if they might happen not to be the one who's suffering with severe depression and anxiety. You always hope if you're really in a time of need that your family would have your back. Sadly it seems for many people that really isn't the case.

My experience as a member of this page/forum as well as having been a counselor waaaaaay back in the day. Is this.It takes a team of concerned others in someone's life to help that person. Much like the notion that it takes a village to raise a child. It takes a village, to help and support a person with any sort of debilitating illness. Wether it be physical or mental/ emotional. Much lie and extended family , but one of varying views and experiences.

teen_anxiety profile image
teen_anxiety

I struggle because I am too afraid to be judged/lose people who I actually enjoy being around.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Why hasn't anybody mentioned: "My doctor."?

I wanted to save this post but I can't find the save button. Help?

Woodhouse16 profile image
Woodhouse16

I don't have friends and family don't really understand and think I cope but I don't most of the time. I live alone and feel very lonely.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox

Here is where I can express nearly all of my feelings though. We can some of us (me included) be a bit silly and petty on here at times, but I honestly find it's the best site that I've been on, and I've tried quite a few. Great format. I think sometimes us users forget the great work you all do here. Thank you all very much.

in reply to Roxylox

Well put, Roxylox. 🌹

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

My parents and my brother sometimes my sister ☺️ My brother is autistic but he is very affectionate when I am sad he hugs me I also ask my parents for advice and help🙂

Midori profile image
Midori in reply to Hb2003

I preferred PWB to this one. OK, we has some trolls, but here seems worse, somehow.

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Midori

me too

buffalogal1 profile image
buffalogal1

Other. I attend a NAMI support group, in person now but did attend on Zoom. For anyone with a mental health diagnosis. I recommend giving it a try. I've made new friends from the group. National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They offer informational classes and other support groups. Located in most states/cities.

Eklektik profile image
Eklektik

I don't understand why we have to choose only one. Did you have a reason to ask for only one? I have several, and there are missing possibilities, such as community centers, live or zoom support groups, GP, psychiatrist, reading/watching/listening on relevant questions. HU is very important to me and to so many others of course, I'm just curious about your methodology for this survey. Thanks for your invaluable service :-)

I know it is extremely late for this but only have my husband to talk things through and vice versa.