The power of determination

A few weeks back I took part in a charity event which tested my physical and emotional strength... i was encouraged to post the write up i did after it to help all sufferers form ED's understand that we really can do anything if we out our minds to it. since doing the event and the write up, my recovery has excelled in a way a never believed possible...

Paddle, Plod, Pedal

“So you up for it then?” asks my mums partner Phil

“That sounds great, I’ll make sure I’m off work” was my reply. He informed me of a charity event arranged by St Richards Hospice. It was a paddle down the river Avon form Pershore to Tewksbury. Then a walk to Worcester followed by a cycle back to Pershore. I got the time off work and committed myself not realising just how far the distance was. Each leg was approximately 15miles, totalling a 45mile journey.

‘Wow the event is in two weeks...can I do this?’ was my thoughts.

I decided to seek advice from others and asked their opinions to quieten my self-doubt. However the response I received was not what I was expecting. My nearest and dearest confirmed my fears, declaring that my body was not fit enough and that they feared for my health if I took part. I felt disheartened.

I spent days stewing over whether or not to take part but what finally helped me decide was an encouraging e-mail from Phil. His belief in me and wonderful words made me so determined.

“I’m in!” I replied.

I then got myself prepared with the equipment I would need and totally believed I could and will do it.

The day of the event arrived and we had a team of 7, including Phil, his sons, my sister and some friends.

Up bright and early we set off in the boats for the paddle. The sun was shining and spirits were high. There was joking, laughter and some light pranks on the other teams.

Four hours later the paddle was complete and our arms and shoulders were aching and numb. We were tired but only just getting started!

After a change of clothes and a refresh, we set off for the walk. Just as we left, some local villagers has set up a stove in the field and had bacon baps and tea on the go. The encouragement and gesture was overwhelming and the hot tea was just with was needed after feeling wet and cold.

We walked through fields of tufty grass and countryside before coming to the checkpoint in a small village. We were halfway around the walk so now was a good time for a lunch break. I understood the importance of lunch to fuel my body and didn’t think twice at munching up a sandwich ?

As the walk continued every part of my body was aching, my hips, my back, my ankles all hurt but there was no way I was giving up.

We finally reached the checkpoint to collect the bikes after nearly 5 hours of walking.

The cycle was such a relief and it took the weight off the feet and was so much faster that the miles went quickly. Again there was a group of villagers halfway around, with flags and cheers for encouragement.

Knowing that we were 1 mile away gave me and the team the biggest adrenaline rush and we peddles like crazy to the finish line. Waiting for us were cheers and well wishers, all congratulating us for not only completing it but for being the first team back!

I got off my bike and collapsed to the ground, tearful and overwhelmed.

“I can’t believe I just did that” were my thoughts. What a buzz it was too.

I write this now because I am proud of myself and my team but most of all; I now believe that you really can do anything with sheer determination.

When someone tells you you can’t, show them that you can! ?

3 Replies

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  • Wow - well done. What a fantastic achievement. Thank you so much for sharing such a positive experience. It's good to be reminded that we can do anything if we just believe it.

  • I have just read you post with intense admiration and a warmth crept over me. Thank you for taking the time to write your achievement, it certainly is something to read and give such hope and encouragement.

    I had an accident leaving me with a shattered pelvis, hip and other injuries. I have suffered with AN for about 18 years and therefore my body needs time and nurishment to heal. I read your post with hope that soon I will be able to do some of the activities I could prior to the accident and being so unwell I too have realised that without food I would of died in hospital, I had to eat and I finally understood why I needed fuel. This however does not mean my AN tendancies have diminished, I wish they would but, I have more to balance the argument with anorexia and try to win by eating.

    Well done you and your team, I hope this continues to give you the power to move forwards within your recovery.

    Love and light x

  • thank you angelus.

    Recovery is never easy..EDs are so powerful. there really is hope... i never thought i would be where i am now. i am by no means recovered but i have gained 10lbs in 2 months and not only do i feel proud to write that i actually dont feel ashamed or embarressed!! and life feels like it is getting better for me, i feel happier in someway...free?!!!

    i do hope u can have ur moment of realisation!! its taken many years for me to believe this but recovery IS possible

    much love xxx x

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