Hi can anyone help please. I'm recovering from anorexia binge purge subtype. I was bmi 15 but after day treatment and inpatient and amazing private ED therapist I have steadily increased to bmi 16.6. As a result the crazy crisis of self harm and overdose and binge vomit alcohol has stopped so now I am solely focused on getting rid of anorexia once and for all (its been with me for 25 years ). I am currently having intense outpatient private treatment and my therapists are wonderful but I keep going round and round in circles and really struggle to keep to my meal and exercise plan. My weight had been around 46.5 for about 4 months but a month ago it jumped up to 47.4 and I just couldn't cope so I've been restricting ever since and last week 46.9 and hoping today it's lower. I cannot cope with letting go of anorexia for 2 reasons 1) who am I without it and 2) HOW to cope with a bigger body. It's already hard enough but my therapist wants me to get to bmi 19!! I feel like I will look like a chunky elephant and I want to be tiny and slight and light. Already I feel heavy and uncomfortable and my biggest problem which seems to be an unusual one is coping with breasts. I have always hated my breasts. Before anorexia I was 34D. Anorexia made me a 30B. I'm now 32C and I hate hate hate hate it. But I want to recover from anorexia but then I have to learn to accept having bigger breasts. Please can anyone help as I'm so unhappy.