I MADE A BIG MISTAKE

I made the mistake of confiding in a so called friend that I battle anorexia ( I do not allow myself to go under weight so people don't see it) they don't understand I do not have to look like the girls in documentaries to suffer from an eating disorder. but anyway. the first time we talked she was very supportive and I did a lot of hard work to pull out of it. well it is about a year later and I had a relapse she noticed I wasn't eating ( we work together) and her response is " knock it off and eat wtf". Seriously that is the last response I needed. I feel more alone than ever. I try and talk to my husband and he just likes to tease me he grabs my stomach or my hips and says " I love your chunk and pleasantly plump blah blah blah. I am surrounded by people who don't get it.

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5 Replies

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  • whyagain, I am so sorry. We all make mistakes by trusting that people will understand our problem no matter what it is. Unfortunately, it doesn't always go the way we planned and then we feel more alone than ever. I can't imagine my daughter who is anorexic being able to handle that crude remark. It is a lonely disorder. Most mental illness is. People just can't understand that the problem is so deep seated that you can't just get over it. That's ludicrous, if it were that easy it wouldn't exist in a large percentage of the population (both men and women)

    I remember going through my darkest times with anxiety and agoraphobia. Who I thought was a friend one day told me, "remember you will always have someone" "Yourself"..And she never called again.

    Are you in therapy or counseling? Do you have the support of your doctor? It is important for you to get the help you need from professionals who understand your condition. Please keep on the forum, there are a lot of beautiful people who are going through EDs that will support and understand what it is like. Emotional support is important. I care. x

  • Thanks agora. I am not in therapy now. I need to find a new one. The hard thing for me is ..get this one. ED doesn't discriminate I am a registered nurse who specializes in behavioral health. I have taught cbt. I have run classes on relaxation and imagery. Sometimes we are the harder population to treat. I do have a call out to a close friend who is a psychologist but we are to close of friends to have a therapy relationship. Fingers crossed he gets me a good name.

  • It was unfortunate that your friend reacted in this way - and your husband's comments also clearly aren't helping you - although I can see how he might think they are supportive. It is so hard for those who've not experienced the problem to understand - but have you tried your GP - or the ABC helpline - sounds like you need some real help from professionals - from experience - its not an illness that you can battle alone - help is needed and I do suggest you seek out some help - and counselling - to help you move forward.

  • I am in the process of finding a new counselor. until then I use the skills I know and the support of a good friend who is a psychologist. he is helping me find the right person. I don't know if you ever experienced it but I have, there are therapist out there that are not the right fit and don't get it either

  • Hi whyagain, you are so right you don't have to look a certain way to be suffering from an ED. I think that is what my daughter finds so hard. People assume she is recovered as she is back to a healthy weight but she is not and she is still battling so hard against the voice. I wish you all the best and hope you find a good therapist soon , again that is trial & error as you say & it is important to find one that you click with xxx

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