Scared for my daughter

My daughter has cut out eating most foods and is obsessed with exercise. She is vegan but there is clearly a problem with eating as she sees it as "giving in". She is getting psycho therapeutic help with some anxiety and self esteem issues. Will this be enough? The situation is going on for about 6 months. Can she get better? What should wembe doing to help.

5 Replies

  • Hello bellasalla - all you can do is be there for her :( If you are not seeing any improvement in your daughter (no matter how small) then "whatever" treatment is not working. Your daughter can get better, but don't expect miracles overnight.Be really kind to yourself and your daughter, keep looking after yourself - serious - she will one day imitate that.

  • Suggest it might be good to go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist eating disorder service - whilst general counselling helps - from experience EDs are a different issue and need professionals with specific training. You could also contact Anorexia & Bulimia Care and BEAT - both have help lines both for young people and their parents.

  • She is trying to help herself. ..I know you won't get that but she is. Might sound like fuzzy logic but in a funny way it is saving her, surviving her. That is for sure. Seek help yourself too

    Hope that helps


  • Hello Bellasalla,

    I'm sorry to hear of your daughters struggle but I hope we can help her get on the road to recovery. At ABC we run parents services which offer guidance and support for you both.

    Perhaps you'd like to e-mail us on: where we can talk about this further.

    Take Care, Emma

  • Hello there,

    I think I am in a very similar position to your daughter as I match the criteria you've given about her so I'm going to give some advice as to what I'd want my own mum to do.

    Don't encourage her to eat more as it only puts pressure on her and will make her feel unhappy and might cause her eating to get worse. In fact, it may help if you assist her eating healthily and buy her low calorie foods as she will greatly appreciate your understanding. Although this seems like the opposite of what you want her to do, she may see that you love her and worry about her as most eating disorders are a result of low confidence, so if she sees your care she may feel better. This way you're letting her come to the food and she may feel ok to eat more.

    But the most important thing is that you need to give her emotional support and comfort, not stuff to do with food. Hug her and be affectionate and tell her how beautiful she is. Tell her things you like about her and that she's perfect in so many ways. You need to try and boost her confidence as from the sounds of it, her eating disorder is a result of low self esteem and poor body image. Once she sees that she is beautiful she may not feel the pressure to be skinny. Tell her it's ok. She needs to know that it's ok to eat what she wants and she doesn't have to cut out food. Show her you care.

    You could also get her to see therapists and doctors who focus more on the eating side, rather than just self esteem, as it does need to be helped directly.

    I hope this helps


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