I'm 26 and have anorexia for 9 years. For the past 7 years my weight yoyos, I always stay underweight enough to function and not have my ED dehabilitate my life. I wish I could fully let go but I for some reason I hold on. Ive travelled Asia for a year and I have been so happy. I'm still travelling yet still hold on to anorexia. When I visited my mum back home I realised how unhealthy I am when I'm around her. She is also very slim and I always believe she has anorexic thinking. now I feel like we compete, meal times are a nightmare and I feel my fattest when I'm around her. I love my mum but hate how I feel around her. I feel when she looks at me she sees me for my eating disorder and I potentially am unhealthy for her too. She's my mm and just don't know how to overcome this problem. I've distanced myself by being away from home but I feel so much resentment when I'm around her. I'm so sad and wish we could have a normal relationship. But I wonder since I'm away most of the time is she truely the root to my issues? So desperate for advice on how to go forward.
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