WHAT DO I DO

Hii. I don't know how to really start this, but I'm having issues and have been seeking help. But I'm starting to give up and it's making it worse. I used to respond normally to food and eat every type until about a year ago (when I started having health problems). I went to a doctor and was put on a wheat/gluten free, dairy free diet. I was already a vegetarian at the time and still am, along with being a gluten free vegan. I eat very well for my super restricted diet, and have lost about 30 pounds in the process. Now, with all that weight off, it has become an addiction. I feel so much better, mentally and physically, without the dairy and wheat. I never had any desire to lose those 30 lbs, but now I'm terribly afraid of gaining them back. I count calories like mad, but other times I can eat a whole bag of caramel popcorn and not care one bit. It's ridiculous! I'll barely eat one day, then overstuff myself the next. And all I can think about while doing it is how much weight I'll gain, when it's never really much at all. Then I chug coffee while thinking about how much I don't want it. My weight fluctuates between 98-104 lbs within a week. I'm obsessed with food. I don't know what to do. And the more I eat, the more I become okay with it. I don't like it one bit and I'm not sure how to handle it anymore. I just want a way to maintain my body weight in a healthy way, without having to fight cravings all day and tell myself no.

2 Replies

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  • Hi,

    It would be a good idea to see a dietician if you haven't already done so recently. Logically the answer is to plan your meals on a weekly basis and stick to regular meals and snacks. It that way your body will stabilise.

    It would probably be good to see a doctor too and find out whether more specialist help from an eating disorder unit is appropriate for you. I think you have taken an important step in realising that this weight/eating thing has become an addiction.

    There are many useful resources out there both on the web and in books.

    all the best

  • Hi. From reading your entry I can really feel your pain and distress about your eating problems!

    I am wondering if you have actually lost too much weight, and am now underweight, hence your body's attempts to get you to eat better? You say you have lost 30kg, and are now between 98-104lb, or in my language, 44.5-47.3kg. You would need to be between 4 foot 10 inches and 5 foot tall for this weight to give you a healthy body mass index of 20 (BMI = weight in kg's / height in m squared). If you are taller than this then you are underweight, and your body making you obsessed with food as a way of encouraging you to eat more and get your weight back to a healthier level.

    I am very sad that your GP never referred you to a dietitian beforehand, when you could have had help to work out what was a healthy diet for you without having to cut out all of these foods. Now I am concerned that you have got temporarily stuck in a cycle of semi-starvation, where you feel obsessed with food. This is normal - look up the Minnesota Starvation experiment on Google to find out more. I will say that the only way out of it is to eat better and gain weight.

    I would suggest making an appointment with your GP as soon as you can, to talk through this more. If you don't feel confident with the one you saw before, try another one, either within the practice or a completely different practice!

    Good luck!

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