Hii. I don't know how to really start this, but I'm having issues and have been seeking help. But I'm starting to give up and it's making it worse. I used to respond normally to food and eat every type until about a year ago (when I started having health problems). I went to a doctor and was put on a wheat/gluten free, dairy free diet. I was already a vegetarian at the time and still am, along with being a gluten free vegan. I eat very well for my super restricted diet, and have lost about 30 pounds in the process. Now, with all that weight off, it has become an addiction. I feel so much better, mentally and physically, without the dairy and wheat. I never had any desire to lose those 30 lbs, but now I'm terribly afraid of gaining them back. I count calories like mad, but other times I can eat a whole bag of caramel popcorn and not care one bit. It's ridiculous! I'll barely eat one day, then overstuff myself the next. And all I can think about while doing it is how much weight I'll gain, when it's never really much at all. Then I chug coffee while thinking about how much I don't want it. My weight fluctuates between 98-104 lbs within a week. I'm obsessed with food. I don't know what to do. And the more I eat, the more I become okay with it. I don't like it one bit and I'm not sure how to handle it anymore. I just want a way to maintain my body weight in a healthy way, without having to fight cravings all day and tell myself no.
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