Hi there. I am new to this site and wondered if anyone could offer any advice? I left the services 5 years ago after they treated me really badly and caused me extra trauma in my life, however, it was the best thing I ever did and a year later had entered recovery, although, slowly and at my pace. I am a 44 year old female and spent 11 years of in and out of hospital admissions to no avail so I have to do this the only way I feel I can manage. The weight gain is very slow nevertheless is present. I am now struggling to stop eating and it's really making my life quite tough. I am finding my mood getting lower and lower. I am not eating loads but it feels like i am and can't restrict anymore even if i wanted to. it's really scared and feels it could go the other way. I Have lots of other health problems and that includes gynae. The eating is worse around my period but literally I feel like I am eating but nothing fills me up. I don't eat bulky meals because I find being bloating sets of all sorts of bad thoughts so I have my food in smaller quantities. I have other issues such as breathlessness and knee problems but they r being dealt with, however, means I can't do any exercise at all and i just feel like I'm eating and eating and gaining and gaining with no benefits. When I was eating less and weighing less I didn't have all these physical problems. Literally something new seems to occur physically all the time and it's making me so angry. I'm tired all the time which no one can pin point but just blame my weight, which I know is not the reason. Everyone told me when I started to get better my life would improve but I am not seeing any benefits of putting myself through this misery everyday. Sorry to winge. I don't have anyone to talk to as frank as this and I hope my post doesn't upset anyone else. I just feel quite lonely and like it's not worth the battle. I've spent so long getting to where I am now but honestly I thought I'd feel fitter. Be back at work. Making friends maybe a boyfriend etc but nothing it's eating, sleep and illness :-(. Just wondered if this is normal or if anyone else has experienced anything similar.
Thanks so much for reading. I'm not a negative person and always see the positives but just somedays are really hard to push through.
So. Also, my gynae has decided to back to back my pill and now I'm so bloated that I can't do my jeans up and I feel like I wana cry. Everything feels really messy right now