I’ve got some concerns about my mum

[Just-hanging]

For the past few years my mum has been slowly losing her memory but the past year or so her behaviour has become increasingly worrying and erratic.

Myself and child live with my parents so I see a lot of how she behaves and she tends to lie a lot to my siblings.

A couple of months back I asked her to be careful with her medication as she kept leaving it lying around. Next thing I know she told my brother I told her not to take it all and to throw it out.

I find she lies a lot about things. I’ve always done most of the cooking and cleaning but lately she’s become jealous of this. She does silly things like taking a hot pan off the stove without a tea towel and hurts herself. And then my siblings blame me for not helping.

The other week I reminded her she had some burgers on the grill and that they were starting to burn. She threw into a fit of rage about how I treat her like she’s pathetic and she be better off dead and then proceeded to sit in the rain outside. She now refuses that this ever happened and told my brother that I told her to get out the kitchen.

I’m at a loss of what to do. Anytime I say anything I get the backlash of it all, I get told I’m lying or I’m making things difficult.

My dad is around but doesn’t say much and keeps to himself.

I can’t really afford to move out just yet and I don’t want to leave when things are bad but it’s starting to take a real toll on me.

Any advice or anyone go through similar?

[ChristianElliott Partner]

Welcome to the community. The behavior changes you describe can be signs of dementia. Does your mom have a GP? Make an appointment is you can.

[Just-hanging in reply to ChristianElliott]

Hi

Thanks for your reply.

Unfortunately when she goes to the Gp she tends to lie about her health. Also I’ve booked appointments for her before and she’s refused to go. I’m at a loss

[ChristianElliott Partner in reply to Just-hanging]

You can also contact your local Alzheimer's Society/Org. They have lots of experience assisting family members in similar situations. All the best.

[Just-hanging]

Thanks for your reply.

I completely understand what your saying. And I know that it’s not something that can be controlled and that if it is dementia it’s going to get worse. It’s the determining of whether she is unwell or not before I do anything.

It’s just hard when I’m the only one who can see what is happening and there’s only so much I can do.

My Nan also had dementia but before anyone realised it had gone on for way to long before she got help.