Doubt

So I'm not sure I can take the progression of my husbands disease..I try..and I know it's not his fault..but it's not my fault either..and I'm not sure I can handle this..I'm only 55 years old and my future feel dim..I try to minimize the situation but it doesn't work..

I'm not a person to go to group, but I do feel very lonely and frustrated..I'm not looking for you guys to give me advise....just need to vent to someone....again I do not want to offend anyone!

Thanks for listening ❤

9 Replies

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  • My wife is only 51 she's had this disease for close to three years now it steadily gets worse I know how you feel I just always try to think that if the shoe was on the other foot she would do the same for me there's no doubt in my mind that she would that helped me

  • I hear you loud and clear... My dear wife of nearly 60 years is deteriorating mentally as well as physically and requires round the clock assistance... We had big plans for our retirement and was looking forward to "The Golden Years".. NOT!!!!! I am physical fit for my age (73) and want to travel and do fun things but, instead, am stuck at home caring for my beloved sick wife... I'm determined to take care her myself as long as I can.. Putting her in a facility will only be a last resort... So, I hear ya... Is life fair.. NO.

  • Thank you!

  • There is no need to take the progression of your husband's PD.

    Get involved encourage him to exercise and join him in the exercise. It will help your husband and also help you to lead a healthy useful life.

    Good luck. It is an opportunity and a challenge.

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I HATE this disease. I'm 62, retired two years ago looking forward to finally traveling and doing all the fun stuff I'd planned for and put off my whole career while I raised my children. But, I care for my father who is debilitated by this disease... I feel you.

  • I hear you loud and clear! I'm right here with you. I'm the co-care giver of my 83 year old mother who is deteriorating rapidly. My 85 year old father is now showing signs of depression and so now his health is starting to fail. With my mother I have to remember that she sometimes isn't my mother but the woman who has Alzheimer's, especially when she is belligerent and mean, because I know my mother who loves me would not treat me that way so able to seperate the two individuals. Read the book the 36 hour day. I found it to be extremely helpful. Wishing you the best.

  • Thank you ..I will look for the book.....

  • Good morning Ddcaribe,

    I'm so sorry you and your husband are having to go through this, and at such a young age. Sometimes, often, life is just not fair. You said you are not looking for advice and I do not wish to intrude but if you would allow me, you can not minimize this situation. It is one one of the more major things that will ever happen in your life. It entirely consumes your life, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once. You are increasingly living with and trying to care for a person you no longer know and who may increasingly show less and less appreciation for that care. In fact they may become hateful and blame you for their shortcomings while you are trying your best to meet all their needs. At the same time you are most likely beginning to grieve the loss of the husband you knew and loved, the person you will never have back and will have to grieve a second time when he passes. No, it can not be minimalized, it is of utmost importance,

    Now I don't say all of this to scare you. I'm sure you already have realized all of this and more. My point is, you must seek out help, you can not do this alone. Speak to your or your husbands physician if you haven't already. Ask about speaking with a social worker, the local council on aging, the local Alzheimer's group, or possibly your church organizations. I know this rankles many peoples souls when they are as deeply involved as you are currently but some therapy for yourself may be of great assistance as well. You are going to need respite care and help with day to day activities. And, as difficult as it is to face, the best decision for both of you may be a SNF. This is an extremely difficult decision but often the best for both of you. Only you can make that decision. Your health and sanity as well as his well being will depend on these decisions.

    I know you said you weren't looking for advice and I'm sorry to have jumped into your life with both feet but I so feel for you and your situation. I've been there, albeit with my parents and not a spouse. It is a horrible, lonely place to be without help. I only hope that you are able to find a path that you are more easily able to follow.

    I wish the best for you and your husband.

    Randy

  • Thank you

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