A month ago today, my son died in his bed. He was 36 years old . He worked with horses & his job was very physical so you would assume he was fit. I am still waiting for confirmation from the coroner. He said he fudnt feel well & went to bed.I am struggling with this, as you can imagine. He was my only child & he was beautiful. I did expect the good old AF to return , which it did yesterday morning and is still here. My cardiologist agreed that I only need to take a bisopropol as a PIP as it lowers my heart rate too much.
My heart rate is only in 70's now, so I haven't taken any medication. Is this the normal thing to do please? I am assuming that you only take the bisopropal when your heart rate is high.
I don't post very often, but I read the posts everyday as you all help me so much & I really appreciate it.
Many thanks
Sheena
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Sheena I am so sorry to read of your loss and my thoughts are with you. Regarding your AF I think you are doing the right thing. Unless your HR goes much over 100 I would just try to stay calm , well hydrated and accept that your AF is small beer in the whole scheme of things.
Over the coming months and years your heart will need much special care, for the AF, as Bob says, is small fry compared with your loss. The emotional heart, joined up as it is with every chemical, organ, nerve and each part of our being, has such a direct impact on the physical heart. So I’m glad you felt able to reach out here and check out you’re doing the right thing.
It was brave of you to be so open about your loss and I hope you’ll stay in touch. This forum is special and I have found it here for the whole heart.
Dear Sheena, I am very sad for you. I realise ‘sad’ doesn’t cover how you are feeling at all but I hope the sympathy helps. Do look after your health as much as possible and report any new worrying symptoms to your GP because as Rainfern says grief can affect your physical heart.
How dreadful, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. How cruel life is being to you and yours. Grief will throw up so much sadness and stress its little wonder your heart is playing up. Do you have physical and emotional support. Is your GP any help or your cardiologist if you need to speak with a medic re your meds.
Are you having any grief counselling or support via Samaritans for example. Dont suffer alone please. You are in the depths of heart break so your physical heart is playing up. I trust things will settle heart wise with time but in the interim as for advice from you doctor. Thinking of you and sending a cyber hug your way. x
Loosing a dearly loved parent of a great age after having lived a long successful life fits with the accepted natural order of life no matter how devastating and sad.
Loosing a son young and in the full flush of life is not the natural order of things in any shape or form. One the mind can reluctantly accept with great sadness, the other is too far from the norm to contemplate. Little wonder your reactions to each precious loss is very different. Take care. X
I’m am so sorry for your loss. Heart-breaking both emotionally and physically as the two are closely tied. It’s important you are being cared for on both fronts and I hope your GP might be particularly empathetic in giving you extra support at the moment. None of us can ease your overwhelming pain, but I hope that sharing here on this forum and knowing people care can provide some modicum of light. x
I’m so sorry to hear your sad news, it is every parents worst nightmare to lose a child and I can’t even imagine the grief and loss you are feeling. Take care of yourself, sending you a hug xx
Oh Sheena, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news regarding your beautiful sons death. What you have experienced is every parent's worst nightmare and my heart goes out to you. No words can ease your pain, but please know that I care deeply.
Re your heart rate, it sounds fine at 70bpm 60-80 is normal but 50-100 is also acceptable.
Sheena, how brave you are to share your awful news with us all. I am so sorry to read of your devastating loss and as you rightly thought, AF has reared its head too. Our emotions affect our physical body so much.I can't imagine what thoughts must be running through your head.You know this already but I feel you may need to hear it from someone else, your son's death was not your fault. We beat ourselves up with "I should have known, did I miss something,"
I do hope the coroner's report will help you in some small way.
I also find bisoprolol lowers my pulse and wouldn't take it with pulse in the 70s.
I do hope your GP practice is providing some support for all parts of your situation.
Morning Bagrat. Yes the ifs & buts are there. No news from the coroner as yet. As you can imagine, I am expecting it to be heart related, but I could be wrong. Thank you so much x
Sheena, this is so awful. To lose your son like this is, as Jean has said, every parents worst nightmare. I can barely imagine what it must be like and my heart goes out to you. It puts a lot of things into perspective.
" May the sun bring you new energy every day, bringing light into the darkness of your soul."
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. It’s every parents worst nightmare. Take good care of yourself and try and get some support for your AF. Sending you a big hug.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Words don’t seem adequate at times and life is unexplainable. I have Bisoptolol as a PIP. I only take it if the AF goes on for a good few hours, or if my numbers go too high. It works for me at the moment. I think if it doesn’t stop you need to take it to protect your heart. I pray that God gives you his strength in the days ahead.
I've been lucky so far as my episodes are infrequent, but I know that eventually they will increase. It helps to speak to people who are in the same boat with the AF. Thank you xx
so sorry for your loss. How dreadfully sad and difficult.
Perhaps not unsurprisingly you’re back in AF, take your PIP and keep your HR lower. Seek support for your loss, from whom/ what ever you think works best for you.
I do hope your AF settles soon, your broken heart from the loss of your son may never heal. But Iam sure everyone on here wishes you some ease in the pain.
dear Sheena I know exactly how you feel, all the questions, the grief…. we lost our Beautiful 20yr old boy to Melanoma about 15 years ago. The stress can bring on AF. The level of grief we have is in direct proportion to the amount of love we had for our son’s. Just know even though your memories are now weighed down by the recent events that slowly the good memories will overtake the bad and fill your heart with love. It has with me and I chat to him every day and I now raise awareness and money for Melanoma research so other families do not have to go through what we did. I guess it’s a way with dealing with grief and believing that we can make a difference. This has certainly helped us.
Thank you so much for your heartfelt message. We never think this will happen to us. Life can be so cruel. Your message has given me hope at such a sad & tragic time. It is so hard to comprehend when they are so young & full of life xx
also finding a support group like The Compassionate Friends is worth reaching out too. My wife goes to some of their meetings. They are in a few countries and are caring group of people who have lost a child
there are so many of us here supporting you in any way to help you with your sad loss Somehow this group understands teach other &?there is always someone there to reach out too. I lost my mum when I was 19 & still feel that loss now but we had a great relationship so I wam lucky to have memories enjoy those as often as you can xx
Sending you the deepest condolences at this terrible time. I can't imagine your pain as a mum myself. No wonder your Af is kicking off. I'd take biso as prescribed if rate goes higher than 100.
I take a low dose 2.5mg Bisoprolol to control my BP. My Systollic was high at the time of stroke with AF then diagnosed with Thyroid cancer. That was September 2019 6 weeks after I got flu on the 12 day Russian River Boat cruise.
With me BBs all Beta Blockers do not bring down my rapid AF. 186 Day with Metoprolol but with night @ 47avg this med gave me pauses and 156bpm taking Bisoprolol and no pauses at night still 47bpm. These levels were reported on a 24hr Heart Monitor.
CCB Calcium Channel Blocker taken AM dramatically affected the high rate of heart rate to 51bpm Day within 2 hours. It was recommended within days of taking 1/2 dose of 180mg to reduce to 120mg.
I take just 2.5mg Bisoprolol at PM.
I am 60s Heart Rate Day and I feel good with this rate. Although slow release, it does not affect my slowerheart rate.
I have been on this regime of meds for 2 years 5 months now.
Of course I take PRADAXA 110 mg x twice day as my anti co-agulant.
Sheena I am so sorry to hear about your son! It is always hard if children die before their parents and when it is sudden and unexpected like this, it is hard. As others say, look.after yourself as much as you can over the next few months. I hope you get some answers from the coroner as at least that might help with understanding the how part. Thoughts with you.
Sheena I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm a mum and my heart goes out to you at this time.. I dont know about the meds, you will get good advice on here I know. And I know all on here will be thinking of you. Take special care of you 🌻
Sheena I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm a mum and my heart goes out to you at this time.. I dont know about the meds, you will get good advice on here I know. And I know all on here will be thinking of you. Take special care of you 🌻
Sheena first of all let me offer you my deepest condolences - what a dreadful shock for you. Such a tragedy ! I am afraid that it is no surprise that your AF has returned . The same thing happened to me when my daughter had a kidney transplant with my son as donor and we had no news from the operating theatre for twelve hours. My AF returned the next day and my EP said it was stress triggered. The good news for me is like you my heart rate is now low with it ( pre ablation it was 180 when o had an episode) so I am on blood thinners (not warfarin) and that is all. Actually after a few days I spontaneously reverted and I get Paroxysmal AF now whenever I am under stress - or have more than one glass of wine ! It is manageable and I sincerely hope yours will prove to be the same . It is worth asking for a referral and check up however .
There is nothing I can add to what others have said regarding the AF but please accept my sincere condolences. My sister lost her daughter aged 33 and knowing the distress that caused, I'm not surprised your heart is as upset as the rest of you.Just take things at your own pace and may be consider some bereavement councilling as you've had 2 traumatic losses to deal with in such a short space of time. They may be able to suggest some calming techniques to help you relax.
Dear Sheena, your post was very sad to read. Different traumas over the years affected my heart too and the afib did get worse but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. But for now let yourself go through every stage of grieving and be very present in the moment. These emotions will gradually soften leaving you even stronger than before. The heart can be dealt with too, just manage it in the best way you can for now. My thoughts are with you.
I am so sorry to learn of the sudden loss of your son, Alex. I just want to add my voice to the many lovely people on this site and offer you my sincere condolences. I hope you can take a little comfort from knowing that so many people are thinking of you and your family right now. X
Sheena I am so sorry to read this post, I can’t advise on the medication but want to add my condolences, be kind to yourself, you have had a shock to your physical and mental heart. Rest. Hydrate and lean on others. Sending love
I am so sorry to read of your loss. No parent expects to lose their offspring. There are those of us who believe the heart to form a gateway between physical and spiritual so let it grieve but take care of it’s health. Thinking of you and sending you much love 🤗
My deepest condolences to you for the loss of your beloved son. Although death ends a life it doesn't end a relationship. May your memories and love for your son nurture that one-of-a-kind relationship in the days to come. And may you be blessed with the comfort reserved for those who mourn.
Hi sheeran so sad to hear about your son, like you I read the posts on here and don't often reply, but take great comfort that people are so kind and helpful. Lots of great advice already given so I won't add anything only to say don't be afraid to ask for help, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Sheena for me I am on regular 1.25 bisoprolol per day which keeps my rate at low 50’s when not active. Advice for me is take flecanide as a pip if I have an episode which persists for more than an hour. Only had to do once in last 4.5 years although have had 2 cardioversions in that time. The flecanide as pip worked for me. Have no other conditions and am relatively fit and healthy at 68.
I'm so so sorry for your devastating loss Sheena. The heart is sorely affected by such sorrow. I do hope you will take care of yourself and get the right help as you need and for the medics perhaps reassess this new situation of AF if it persists. I have paroxysmal AF where the pulse becomes very tachycardic and so take antiarrhythmic medication regularly, so to prevent its occurrence; I'm not prescribed Bisoprolol. For others, if the pulse rate is slow but AF persistent or chronic, other approaches are used as you may well know. If it's unusual for your AF to persist or is causing problems, your cardiologist can assess and advise you whilst undergoing such distress.
This is absolutely heartbreaking and an unbearable loss, and my heart goes out to you Sheena. I find this forum is so amazing when it comes to practical advice or emotional support. It’s heartwarming to see the beautiful responses from members who are so touched by your grief, and that want you to know that they’re here for you.
Sheena: We lost our son when he was 17. A motorist wasn't paying attention and drove into him. His only injury was a broken femur but through medical negligence at the hospital he died.
I've written the above so that you know that I have been through some of the things that you will go through.
This may not seem to be the best time to do this but at some point you will start to have questions. Are you the type of person who can just accept things? Or do you question them?
If you have someone who can help you with this don't feel that you are being a nuisance - ask for their help - they will love you more for it. Two heads are better than one - especially when one of them is grieving and feeling overwhelmed.
If you question things use the Inquest as a means to get answers. As questions come into your head - write them down somewhere. Talk to a solicitor and/or Alex's GP and see if they can offer any help. You can request a copy of Alex's medical records if you feel that there might be some clues/answers there. Be prepared for some shocks along the way. There may be things that you don't know. You can send the Coroner a letter with your questions in it and you can ask the Coroner to address them for you.
You didn't mention whether ther was an autopsy or not but, if there was, the Coroner will have a copy.
I realise that I'm telling you to address the practical things at a time when you are feeling too emotional to do this, but getting answers to your questions will help you in the long-term so use others to do what you don't feel up to because you might not be able to get answers later.
People will tell you that "Time heals". It doesn't. As time passes it just makes you learn how to cope without your loved one being there with you.
The things that made you laugh will make you cry and the things that made you cry will make you laugh.
Hi George, thank you for your understanding & the advice, which is invaluable. An autopsy has been done, but because he was so young they have carried out further tests. So at the moment, I have nothing. I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I can't imagine ever getting over the pain & heartache. I'm thinking if you too x
I can only try to imagine the pain you are carrying. I am so very sorry and send my love to you.
As regards your AF query, I would not take a PIP with that heart rate. If it were me, I would go for a brisk walk, as that has helped me in the past.
I do hope you have understanding, loving people round you who will support you and show you the love and care you need, while you adjust to life with this loss.
My goodness, what a horrible time you're going through. Please take care of yourself and try to get enough rest -- AF seems to feed on lack of sleep and worry. My heart goes out to you. Take care.
Oh my goodness....no wonder your Afib has returned!! I am so very sorry to hear of your enormous loss and can only imagine what you must be going through. I hope you have lots of support from family and friends to help you through this time and hope that you feel you will get continued support from the forum. Sending special thoughts at this saddest of times xxx
So sorry to hear about you devastating loss Sheena. I think there is a lot of good advice in the comments from forum members . Remember you can always reach out on this forum whenever you need to let off steam or just have some human company. I’ve been through 4 bereavements in the last 4 years - none of them as unexpected as yours though but I do feel for you . Feel free to reach out directly if you prefer.
Know that GOD is with you in this time of mourning and uncertainty, and just give it all to HIM, sorrows, questions, anger and HE will reveal all things to you, and be certain HE knows what you're going through right now as HE lost HIS SON as well. May GOD take away your pain and suffering and Bless you with HIS peace. Will be praying for you. GOD Bless.
Oh, Sheena! What an awful loss! I am so sorry.😨 All I can say is that this must be a dreadful shock and a time of huge grief and stress, so be kind to yourself. Rest. Drink plenty, even if you don't feel like eating. Give yourself time. 🌺
So sorry for your loss. May God bring you healing & consolation.
I take metoprolol succinate (slow release) for every day to keep my heart rate low & I have a supply of metoprolol tartrate (fast acting) if I should ever go into afib. 70 is not a bad heart rate for normal sinus rhythm , but if you are in afib for more than a day i think you should consult cardiologist to see about getting you back into normal sinus rhythm. when i am in afib it feels like a squirrel is in my chest trying to get out & that is not comfortable. best wishes and as everyone here has said & make time to listen to your body and take care of yourself!
Just seen your very sad news, can only imagine what your are going through. You are in my thoughts & hope you can take some comfort from the fact that so many people on this community are also with you. x
Have just seen your post and cannot imagine what you must be going through. Great heart ache, both physically and mentally. Words are so difficult at a time like this, but everyone on here is with you. With regard to the bisoprolol. I am on a daily dose of 2.5 a day and was on 5mg. Although when I recently had a "possible" AFib episode, my HR was only 70 but it felt much worse. Therefore think your HR most definitely is connected to your grief and should settle without bisoprolol. Every little thing at the moment must seem like a huge obstacle. I've also found this forum extremely helpful and everyone gives such good and sound advice. My thoughts are with you. Maglyn x
Sheena, I am so very sorry for your loss. To lose a child is one of the worse things to happen because it's not the natural order of life. Regards the bisoprolol I was given 5mg daily when diagnosed 5 years ago. That has since been reduced to 1.25 morning and 2.5mg evening. I have flecainide as a PIP and Apixaban x2. You should speak to doctor as to whether you are on correct prescription.
So sorry to hear about your son. I would have thought a HR of 70 was fine. If your heart is not in sinus rhythm then a 50 gram flecainide might be best . Consult your doctor though.
So sad to hear your news. a friend of mine had a similar experience - their only son 36 years old, came home, said he was feeling bad went to bed. They went out shopping for about an hour and when they came back he was dead in the bed my dear friend even gave her son CPR but knew he was gone but tried to bring him back. His death was caused by something similar to (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, (SIDS) which can happen to people who suffer from epilepsy as he did. There is an old saying which goes something like this: A Child who loses their parents is an orphan, a spouse who loses their partner is a widow/widower. There is no word for a parent who loses their child - the loss is too great to put into one word.
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