how can I help my son with feeling depressed after his cardioversion two days ago which appeared to have gone well?

[Grandie70]

my son who had a cardioversion two days ago, felt full of the joys of spring afterwards as he felt so much better. However reality kicks in and he’s feeling really down. Being normally a very active man enjoying running, golf, footgolf, who enjoys his food and a drink or two, he’s feeling low in mood looking at the festive period coming up as he has been told to obviously abstain from all that he enjoys! Has anyone got some words of wisdom that I can pass on or get him to read. I’d be so grateful. I just want my happy son back again after the past trying months. Thank you.

[Popepaul]

I would encourage him to join this platform. I would think that he is still trying to come to terms with this condition/afib. It is likely that he is fearful of the future. I think that in most cases the fear is far worse than the actuality. Within this forum he will be able to compare his experience with that of others and make better sense of his condition.Regards

[Grandie70 in reply to Popepaul]

Thank you. I will definitely get him to check in!

[jeanjeannie50]

When the heart has been beating in an abnormal rhythm for quite a while the muscles there can grow strong as they do that wrong beat. Having a cardioversion can quickly put the heart back into normal sinus rhythm, but we mustn't forget how the heart muscles while now beating correctly need to gain strength again, so as not to allow those stronger abnormal muscles to take back control. For this reason and I've had numerous cardioversions and have learnt these rules the hard way. I would recommend that after a cardioversion not to do anything that requires effort for a few weeks, eat large meals or drink alcohol.

I once walked up a steep hill the day after a cardioversion and immediately went back into AF. Too late to be sorry then.

I really don't know why medical staff don't give us any tips on what care we should take once our heart is back in normal rhythm again.

To help your son now I would cut out all food and drink that contains artificial additives. Artificial sweeteners were a sure trigger for my AF and it took ages for me to realise that.

Jean

[Hidden]

Psychologist I am not but I wonder how old your son might be, whether or not he has a family of his own and if he is prepared to invest now so that he can have a brighter and more fulfilling future. Of course there is some pressure now to use common sense to maximise the success of his recent procedure, but success means he is better placed than he might have been for further treatments should they be necessary. Of course there is no magic wand that will bring back instant normality but there is so much that can be done that will enable him to return to a life style that will bring pleasure and enjoyment but it needs a positive outlook.

Probably not overly helpful, but he’s also lucky to have a father that cares…..

[Grandie70 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. That was helpful. And I’m a mum who cares🤭🤭

[Hidden in reply to Grandie70]

Sorry Mum 😉

[Grandie70 in reply to Hidden]

I’m thinking, what would be helpful is to hear back from those who’ve managed to get back to living a relatively normal life afterwards and how long it takes adhering the changes.

[Hidden in reply to Grandie70]

It’s very much as Jean says, most people return to so called normal activities but alcohol and anything which puts undue stress on the heart should be avoided for as long as possible……..

[Grandie70 in reply to Hidden]

oh and by the way, yes my son is married in his forties with a family! 😊

[stoneyrosed]

When I was in afib I would have given anything to be in normal rythymn including giving up alcholol. It will take a bit of time for him to get used to his new lifestyle but get used to it he will. It has its positives and negatives, for example I bet he ends up spending more time with his family, no hangovers, eating the right foods. He will eventually start to feel healthier and will be able to play golf again, perhaps running and more intense sports will be out of the question but eventually that happens to most people when they hit there 40s and 50s. He will adapt, and his positive side will come out, it just takes a bit of time that’s all. Give him my best 😊

[Grandie70 in reply to stoneyrosed]

Ahh thank you for that. I’m sure once in the mindset, and he starts to see results weight loss etc, it’ll help him to keep on track for a healthier happier future! 🤞

[JPLivin]

Hi Grandie70,

Listen its Heavy!

I am a 56 Active man and 1 year ago out of no where, I found myself in the same position followed by Pacemaker Implant and Heart Ablation...

It definitely hits everyone different, as I bottled it all up for over a year and then sure enough realized everything I had been through and groups like this relieved my fears... I agree with Popepaul's comment... Start here!

For me too, I thought the worst and my life as I knew it was over... No Way!

Now I look at it as a blessing from God!

Look at the alternative... and Remember so many people have it So Much Worse! Take time to breath, give yourself a break and slow down... Day by day...

It Get's Greater Later! (True Story)

Listen I have had some challenges over the last year, but with that said I know I will be back to all the things I love... No Doubt!

Tell him, I am a Foot Golfer Too that enjoys a cold one... LOL... It's going to be OK!

Sometimes you need to bring the car off the track for a Tune-up and with some minor adjustments he is going to be great!

Let it out, but don't let it consume you... Stay Positive!

I will Pray for You and Your Son!....

I was a Badass before... and I am still a Badass... And So Will He...

Cheers!

[Grandie70 in reply to JPLivin]

I love that JP and will definitely pass your post onto him, if he hasn’t already read it. I can relate to all you’ve said and by your comment know you’ve help me to help him look to a brighter future. He too is normally such a positive person who is loved by all and he just needs once again to get into the mindset! Thank you JP🤗

[JPLivin]

Oh yeah... I forgot to Mention... Depression is Common, especially for 1-4 days after being put under with"Anesthesia"

Completely Normal to be depressed, in fact I have had 23 Surgeries Prior from accident to Save My Left Leg... and Not Only did this happen every-time...

I also got Nasty during that period 100% of the time!

Here is something I found on Google, so you know I am not making this up... I lived it and here it is...A Real Thing!

"Some research suggests that general anesthesia may also contribute to postoperative depression. Anesthetics are potent medications, and while they're essential for many major surgeries, they may cause temporary mood alterations after a procedure."

So that in itself is a BIG FACTOR!

Cheers!

[secondtry]

Yes, it is a shock & easy to succumb to anxiety when not being able to see the end game with your leisure pursuits & more threatened.

BUT tell your son to use it as a driver to improve his life overall for the better as he scrutinises it for triggers, which often are bad habits eg eating or drinking the wrong things, taking on too much stress, breathing badly.

10 yrs ago on diagnosis at age 60, I was shocked, had borderline depression but prayed a lot, threw the kitchen sink at improving my lifestyle & reluctantly accepted some medication. At age 70, I have great quality of life & credit AF for a lot of that improvement including most recently not having any of the C-jabs.

[Adalaide2020]

Hi Grandie.I agree with JP. Depression is a factor after anaesthetic. I had my 5th procedure recently and went down hill quite a bit. I was scared as depression is a big thing in my family. But I came on here and just let it out. I got so much support. It's easy to say, cos a lot of people dont want to look vulnerable, but being vulnerable and being honest is the way forward. Your son has a great mum and I hope the rest of his family are given him the loving support he needs too. Trouble is he doesn't have a sling on his heart, it's not in plaster, people cant see what he has been through. For the sake of his health, physical and mental, he really does need to listen to those who have been there before him. He doesn't have to take it all on board but he will have a better idea of what is going on. He is still young and maybe wondering about his ability to care for his family, enjoy his sport..etc..in short, be a man. I'm not a man but the men I love are all a bit like that (some a lot!) But the guys on here have been there and have hopefully listened to the help offered, importantly they reached out.

I've got two 40 ish sons who I love the bones of, so from one mum to another, just keep being the supportive mum you are, this will pass. Lots of love x

[Grandie70]

Oh Adalaide, what a beautiful reply, you brought tears to my eyes, and I take all these replies on board. They are certainly helping me! A Huge Thank you! You are an angel 😇

All these messages I’m passing onto my son with hope he will read. He has made an account for this site but has yet found the time to come on board🥴 So am in the meantime passing him on all your messages till he gets fed up with his annoying mum going on!🙈

Take good care and a very Happy Christmas to you. Trixie x