Apologies in advance, Thank you in advance but if I take an age to reply it’s due to being at work all day or crashed out. I usually end up in bed not long after I return but I really always appreciate everything you all say - remember I’m rude in not replying
Good morning everyone & hope you are all doing well & sorry if you’re not.
It was exactly a year ago I was checking into hospital for my 3rd ablation. It was another 4 months until I suddenly went into NSR. I’ve had the most amazing 6-7 months of feeling brilliant until recently! I recall about 2 months ago, having carried too much shopping I later felt the first poundings but they disappeared so I’d vowed not to forget the trolley token again. I was fine then until a few weeks ago a sudden bad fall on the the stairs seems to have jolted the return of this dreaded PAF! I’m now trying to cope with insomnia when PAF wakes me. At the same time I’m trying to hide this poor health return from my new employers (got a new job on my return to health) they don’t know the extent of how ill I was the last two years. All of a sudden I’ve become so scatterbrained, I’m forgetting stuff really quickly (don’t know if this is the PAF effects) but I feel really stupid trying to joke it all away as just a scatty day when they’re probably thinking what on earth have they taken on. In turn I’m nervous preempting every next moment. Vicious circle I know worrying about it all doesn’t help but, on top of it all I’m thinking I have made great plans for next summer that look like they could all be just carboshed now & not just for me but hubby too. No matter how much I try to relax the PAF makes me feel like I’m a nervous wreck pumped on adrenaline wide awake despite insomnia or getting in from work then falling asleep at at 8:30pm in the chair when the heart is slow & calm. Just not coping too well right now sorry for the all the twittering - virtual hugs all round - any replies won’t go unread, just swamped right now 👋 😘 🤗
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Afibflipper
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I’m going to be blunt, I’m not unsympathetic, have been in a similar place so speaking from a place of experience. - Something has got to give - you are currently in a vicious and self perpetuating circle on which your AF is thriving. Something has got to give and you know that - just read back to yourself what you have written!
Your memory won’t improve until both sleep and AF do and neither will unless you address your anxiety. What are you going to do about that? Mindfulness? Counselling? Tai Chi? Breathing exercises? Taking up a hobby you enjoy? All of which have proven health benefits.
What support have you? If you won’t tell your employer how can they help? What sort of employment health benefits do they offer? Is your husband supportive? Does he really know how you really are and how worried? Is there anyone in your life who can offer you support?
Are you Menopausal? (Do not underestimate the affect on everything when you are or peri-menopausal!)
Forget about next summer and plans and focus on what you are going to do next week to help yourself. Have you a treatment plan?
The one thing I know is that if you don’t choose to change then change chooses you. Take back some control and make choices which are about how you can live with this condition - well which may mean accepting some limitations and pacing yourself, giving yourself more time for yourself so that you enjoy life, doesn’t sound too enjoyable right now.
I’m so sorry to hear this. It sounds like stress is playing a major part in how you feel, and it ends up in a vicious circle of ‘what ifs’. Then it’s easier said than done to calm down etc.
Once your mind starts to race, then you do get more scatter-brained too - at least I do! I’ve taken a while to get used to permanent AF. I’m not very good at sticking to it, but I do think that meditation, slow breathing etc. really work. As does writing down how you feel, and you’ve just done that which is great!
Sending a big hug and wishes for NSR, but if NSR doesn’t happen then some slow-breathing and calmed down AFib.
Hi, Lots of us have been where you are right now and you have my sympathy. If you cannot come up with a plan visit your GP and tell them exactly what you have typed here, I am sure the doctor can come up with a plan be it cognitive therapy for anxiety or/ and medication for the AF. Perhaps organise another visit to the cardiologist and maybe a 4th ablation? I think you need a glimmer of light to see you through these tough times. Good luck x
Aw no! And you were doing so well too. When you do get some time to reply ( no pressure AT ALL), what do you do for a job now? I’ve been in the position of being ‘scatty’, and when you worry about it, it gets so much worse, then you get more worried!!! Vicious circle isn’t it!
Please try not to worry (easy to say I know), but you’ve been so strong in the past and I’m sure you will be again. Is there anyone where you work now that you could talk to.? Might be worth a try. Chin up. 🌹
Hi dear Flipper. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a hell of a time there. First of all I’d like to say you’re allowed to feel anxious, frustrated, angry, sleepless, scatterbrained and all the rest. They are all perfectly understandable and a completely normal response to shock and grief.
If I was in your shoes I think I’d be somewhere similar, you were getting along so nicely, doing so well after a period of quite chronic bad health. It must feel like things are going backwards. But I tell you what, they’re not going backwards because of who you are and because once you feel ready (and only when you feel ready) you’ll start to put a plan of action in place to move onward to the next phase in life. At the moment you feel the loss full power.
So you know what I’m going to say. Take it easy and be very very gentle on yourself. No blame. Let them know at work and take a week out to be calm, meditate, look after you. They will be useless future employers if they can’t understand. Go one step at a time and I won’t say more because you know how you’ve got through this before.
Keep in touch, you don’t have to reply. Be there for yourself, be there for your feelings, and they will start to feel the care and calm back down.
Thank you so much Rainfern, it’s just so comforting when people really understand. You just feel everyone thinks you’re almost putting things on - like the tiredness someone said well we all get tired!
Hi my friend. I'm so sorry to hear what is happening. I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm sure it's down to stress, you're doing too much again! Can you reduce your work hours? Slow down, rest relax, address your sleep & circadian rhymes, gentle exercise and quiet time. Sending much love from NZ
Well hello my NZ friend, how are you doing these days - hope everything settled for you. Yes I think everyone’s advice is what I really know but - I’m not superwoman & need to my limits
How are the craft sessions going lately? Well I really must try to sleep (just saw the time ) Day off yay, lunch with a cousin later
Sorry to hear you are having such rough timeout you have some sterling advice here.I hope you can get out of this vicious circle soon. Best wishes and good luck.
Sending you big, big hugs Afibflipper. I'm really sorry to hear this. The worst feeling out is just when you think you've got it taped it jumps up and bites back! So lovely lady fess up to your employer and take a bit of time out for YOU. There will be a way forward but the fear of going back to where you used to be is one I personally can recognise and is blocking your usual proactive self. Obviously there is a problem as you were bouncing along so well and it's rotten that it's rearing it's head. So unfair!! It might be partly that it can all be managed by taking some heat off at work with workload pressure. I know they are new employer but they will want it to work well too.....employers tend to think the more you do the more they can sling your way.... but we all have limits and us Fibbers know this far better than anyone else out there. If it's of any help at all I keep lists, my memory isn't great and I hate that scatter feeling you describe. So my phone is alarmed for appointments meetings. I add reminder notes to my diary. I keep an Action list.... Things I need to know that Ive done I can tick off or cross through. I resist impromptu conversations about work stuff that people love to drop on you as you are enroute to a meeting or half way through a piece of work because I won't have time to note what's agreed and I can't pace it. I make sure I go out of the office for a break away everyday. Anywhere.... gentle walk or little cafe.... even drive and park car somewhere!! I have to pace, slow it right down then I found I coped much better.
This is all very easy for me to say and you know it all in all likelihood in any case.... But sometime you just need that handhold and someone saying it will be all OK..... But you have to slow down. Doesn't mean you won't be worth employing. Quite the opposite.
I really hope this doesn't sound patronising because it's not intended. I know that feeling you describe.... Panic and feeling you are doomed, not in control, feeling you know it has to change but worrying your new employer will think badly of you. (no wonder you can't sleep as nothing like worry to get your heart racing flipping.) It's they who should worry/feel bad as you are not being looked after. Big hugs lovely lady. Time out to regroup rest then tackle your employer and I hope your heart settle down very soon..... Xx
I do feel genuinely hugged by your words thanks. As I sit replying I am currently sitting calmly in my parked car in a carpark having just been in a 1 hour traffic jam. Lights off engine stopped - the silence is actually marvellous- I’m warm & dry and can feel my slow regular heart beat - no flipping AFibbing right now.
Everyone’s words here are being etched to my thought process - I’m in this moment feeling good - thank you everyone 😘 🤗 x
Awww that's the spirit. So glad you enjoyed that quiet time. Everyone has limits that includes people with no health problems. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Xx ❤️
You've had some great advice here. I know that feeling of being out of control and life will never be the same again. And - in truth- it won't. But...there IS new normal for you and it will be OK. Do at least one thing each day that brings you pleasure. It could be as simple as a good cuppa and a favourite biscuit or piece of dark chocolate (my favourite) savoured slowly, or 10 minutes outside in nature. Sounds like you need to allow yourself to just 'be'.
Hello Joy, the hr was going from its regular 60/70 to 140 instantly, the usually low BP goes up to 140/90 & gives me a really banging head but I’ve been taking a bisoprolol & Losartan (Gp is aware & happy that & that seemingly sorts the event - hr & bp go back to 60/70 & bp backs down to about 112/ 63 ish
Bisoprolol is a BB Beta Blocker and Losartan is from the family of Metoprolol another Beta Blocker.
On Metoprolol or Bisoprolol GP just kept taking up the dosage. Not good.
Under a private H/Specialist he heard my history and re evaluated my med.
Metroprolol did little for controlling my H/R and gave pauses during the night. I have a low rate at night of 47 only average. I had the stroke at 2am in the morning - not on. any drugs.
I was given Losartan earlier that stroke year and my urine was full of protein so I stopped it.
Bisoprolol even on 10mg controlled my BP but not good enough to control H/R.
This priv H/Specialist introduced CCB Calcium Channel Blocker Diltiazem 180mg 1/2 dose which within 2 hours brought it down to 51. Too much. Although his report before I tried it said I could have up to 360mg!
Between the Healthline NZ's Dr and on a sunday and a nurse who knew my H/Specialist settled things ringing him. She said reduce Diltiazem to 120mg and have AM and take minimal dose BB Bisoprolol 2.5mg PM.
A year on this regime of pills it shows that
Diltiazem controls my H/R Day down to 88-96 and this allowed an operation last march to remove the TVT J&J Kit of sling and jagged mesh which was injuring me. Last November and I had dropped 3kg I dropped again to 60s Day only. It leaves my night rate @ 47 average no pauses.
The Bisoprolol 2.5 controls my BP.
So I've just had hopefully my final operation - right shoulder repair with no warning from Anaesthetist that if my H/R was over 100 that no operation would go ahead. The last HEART ECHO done in early October reads H/R 70-80 only at 3pm in the afternoon - well controlled.
It sounds like a H/Specialist needs to really look into what is happening to you. Not a GP!
Take care and look to get controlled throughout a 24 hr day/night. I know at last I am comfortable. I have lost a further 3kg. I drink A2 milk and eat sour dough bread.
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