I'd like to wish everyone a calm, healthy Christmas and New Year.
My views on Christmas are a little bit different to everyone else's and I really don't expect, or ask you to feel the same way as me. I love everything about it, the music decorations family get togethers, food and drink etc.
What I think about is those people that are on their own at this time of year. I wonder how they feel when we say happy, or merry Christmas. I was down in my small town getting last minute bits and pieces a few years ago and I passed an elderly man shopping who was barely able to walk, people were all saying merry Christmas to each other and I looked at him and wondered what his Christmas would be like. I can tell you the sadness went through me like a knife. Such a small instance, but I will never forget it. In general we are too bound up in our own lives to think or even care about others.
Also, and I'm going to sound a right misery here but what a waste of time and money Christmas cards are. I haven't sent them for a few years now but instead make a donation to my favourite charity. I would rather the money, I haven't spent, going towards helping someone who has nothing. Perhaps providing them with a bed or a meal. What are we doing handing pieces of card to people we know telling them to have a nice Christmas. Can't we say those words to them, wouldn't that be a nicer thing to do?
Moan over.
As I've already said, I'd like to wish everyone a calm, healthy Christmas and New Year. I'm thankful to you all for all your kindness/caring to myself and others on this forum.
God bless you all.
Jean xxx
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jeanjeannie50
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Hi Jean,This year due to illness of my son I didn't do cards but sent emails as an apology and got lovely replies. This seemed much nicer as I felt the connection with friends.
Hi Jean, my son came out of hospital on 8th Dec and we have been together since then as he was very weak from the Covid pneumonia. We came back to Bristol for Christmas and I am driving him back to London so he can get his booster on Friday 7th Jan. He is recovering strength so that's good although a phased return to work is needed. He will have an outpatient appt at the Covid clinic in Feb.I hope 2022 is kind to you , best wishes.
You are right of course. I mostly only send cards to those I don’t see regularly and emails to my other friends. That works extremely well as we often continue our conversations. You cannot say much in ecards and you cannot use them as christmas decorations so I don’t indulge in those.Have you found your pill box? It has probably run away with my varifocal glasses.
Lost about 2 weeks ago and have looked Everywhere (except where they are actually hiding). It is entirely possible that they got caught up in the garden waste which would be a pity because they are not compostable!Happy Christmas Everyone.
Jean, I do so agree with you on Christmas cards but haven't managed to stop the habit yet for fear of offence !! I have cut down slightly though. Happy Christmas to you Jean and all forum members! xx
Dear Jean, your post strikes such a chord with me. I adore Christmas (yes I’m one of those people who would binge watch sweet Hallmark Christmas movies all December if I could!) but my heart bleeds for those who are alone for whatever reason. It’s all the more stark when everything is expected to be jolly, & everyone else appears to be together.
When I was well, I used to do what I could at Christmas to look out for those alone. Now I’m not up to ‘doing the doing‘, so instead of giving each other a Christmas present, my husband and I give a contribution to a charity that cares for people at Christmas. (It’s a drop in the ocean, I know. I’d prefer to be actively providing lunch and festive company for anyone who needed it!)
And I’m with you on cards!... Lately we’ve taken to only sending Christmas card to people who are on their own, whether family, friends or neighbours. It feels nice to know they’ve got something cheerful to look at, maybe smiling at them and reminding them they’re thought of and loved.
Thanks for your post, Jean. Good food for thought at a season where it’s easy to be too busy to think of others. And sometimes even taking a moment to notice someone and smile, or stop and chat, can make their day.
And thanks to you lovely people on this forum for the ways you bring peace and cheer all the year round. AF and other conditions can be very isolating (literally and emotionally) and all you who bother to post and reply and support people on here are helping to banish the worry/loneliness
May you have a peace filled Christmas and a healthy happy new year 🌟 God bless you xx
What a lovely post Jane. I too have always been involved with groups involved with helping people who were feeling isolated and was a founder member of two befriending groups in my town. One of them is still running now.
I think we tend to generalise far too much and assume things that may very well not be true. The use of the term 'loved ones' is universal on TV. I'd prefer 'friends and relatives' as I think that would be nearer the truth. It is assumed that everyone who is not seeing their relatives at Christmas will be very unhappy about it but I'm sure there will be quite a few who will be happy as Larry! When I had AFib social gatherings tended to send my heart rate sky high.
I will be spending Christmas alone and that's fine by me. I don't want to chance getting Covid. At a guess I expect half of those who are not seeing relatives will be unhappy and the other half quite happy. What about couples and families who just don't get along. And Christmas can be quite stressful. children waking up early, the dinner to cook, eating too much, drinking too much, kids' TV and all the driving and the train drivers striking and lots of workers off ill.
I send e-cards for which I pay £15 a year. I guess I am quite a Scrooge as I think that we waste an awful lot of money on presents which we just guess the recipient will like. I have said quite firmly as usual 'don't buy me anything' and then I find two boxes mainly of food on my doorstep. Christmas cake, Christmas puddings, tins of custard, a jar of sweets, marzipan sweets, jellies, mince pies, box of shortbread biscuits etc. I think they will last me till summertime. 'Lovely, I said, thank you so much, you shouldn't have!'
I do like the marzipan sweets and there was an arrangement of small cactus plants which pleased me. I think they are rooted cuttings from one of my grandsons' collection of cacti.
In the past I think that a midwinter festival was brilliant. It broke up the winter. Even when I was young and we had rationing, the food, the turkey, the cake, pudding, the nuts were a treat, it was wonderful. Now, we have lots to eat and drink, probably too much. We have clutter and, dare I say it, accumulate even more clutter.
I have a bottle of cider which I was going to drink this week but, after some of your posts this week, I am not so sure about it.
I hope you will all have a happy Christmas. I wonder what next year will be like. It's going to be a year of change for me but how that change will happen, I have no idea.
Odd that you say it's going to be a year of change for you next year, because a few days ago I said the very same thing to a friend of mine.
I agree with all you have written. I'm going to my daughters tomorrow, she's been suffering with a cold and some close friends were hoping I'd go to them instead, but I've just sent her a text and she's ok now.
I've been making myself and guests snowballs (the drink) and my heart has been fine.
You’re right of course, Physalis! By alone I was meaning those in a stage in their lives where they’re unhappily alone, lonely... eg missing a loved one, bereaved, no one to look out for them, sometimes not even a phone call week to week etc. I didn’t mean the many who are very contentedly - some relievedly! - alone for the festive season! Hope you have a lovely Christmas - let us know if you risk the cider! Jx
Got up this morning, Christmas Day! Boiler won't turn on.
Nine days ago in response to Octopus Energy's Winter Workout, I turned the temperature down from 80 to 60 degrees. Later on noticed the panel was flashing. Seven days ago, like this morning, the boiler wouldn't light. I called my plumber who came out in the afternoon and he twiddled something and pushed a lever underneath and was in and out in about three minutes. I got a bill for £84. That was a week ago. It is now Christmas morning and it has happened again. The fault was 'water pressure low'. Yesterday I looked at the dial and it was in the green. I got up to find that it had dropped again and the boiler won't light.
I'll be blowed if I am going to call them out again so I will be learning how to cope with an 18 degree setting. Maybe I will adopt it permanently!
The cause of the fault is usually a leak in the system. Do any of you know what that means? Is it a leak in the actual boiler or somewhere else in the pipes or radiators? Should I be looking for it?
Physalis, I've solved this problem on my boiler many times. There will be a valve around your boiler which if you turn will allow the pressure to increase. I found out how to do mine by searching on YouTube. You need to see what make and type of boiler you have, then enter that name followed by YouTube and pressure into Google. If you want me to search for it for you, let me have the details. What part of the country do you live in?
I did all that a week ago. It's a Baxi Duo-Tec combi GA. He actually showed me what to do but it was too quick for me to know exactly how to do it myself. All this looking under the boiler with our heads no more than a foot away. No masks, no ventilation, no social distancing!!! I could try twiddling the nut and pushing the lever but I'm erring on the side of caution, I don't want to fiddle with it in case it makes things worse. I'll wait till after Christmas and get my son over to see if we can sort it.
However, I've had another look and there are a lot of videos on this problem. My boiler is ten years old and most of them have a different layout of pipes underneath but I will have a go with it later. I'll let you know how I get on.
Will also have a search around to see if I can find a leak anywhere.
Hi Physalis, I’m sorry about your boiler problems. I did have similar with my 10 year old combi a little while ago - it kept dropping pressure quite suddenly. I was envisioning a major flood somewhere but it turned out that the expansion vessel in the boiler needed repressurising. A quick 5 minute job for the plumber and it’s been fine since ( touching wood here!!) Sorry to butt in but thought it worth mentioning. Hope you get it sorted soon.
Yes, I've looked too and there are a lot of videos, which does make it a little more confusing. Just have a look under your boiler if you feel you want to. Mine's in the garage and I shine a torch underneath. Might be an idea to take a photo with your phone to have by you if you look on YouTube again.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do. I guess you may have other forms of heating to use anyway.
Finally got it sorted with the help of my family. I haven't used any electrical heating and have been surprised how warm I've been with my housecoat on all the time. I'm on the south coast so it's not too cold down here. The temperature hasn't dropped below 17.5. If it had been sunny, with my big windows, it would have gone up to 21.
Really pleased to hear that your central heating is working again Physalis and that it was a warm, sunny day for you yesterday. We have the sunshine today, but yesterday it poured with rain here just about non-stop and as I drove to my daughter house the roads were all flooded.
No, it wasn't sunny yesterday and the temperature didn't go over 18 degrees. I may try setting my thermostat at 19 and then I can feel virtuous. It's raining no I think.
I too deplore the hypocrisy of Christmas . I have just received the Newsletter for the alumni of my old school - devoutly C of E , and to be quite honest I felt quite nauseous reading the 'Christmas message',
Thanks to an insistent little piece of genetic code passed through my mother's side, we are a very traditional and overly sentimental lot. One result of this persistent little gene is that we all still send out cards each year for birthdays and Christmas, with us, would you believe, still sending holiday postcards. There was one family member this year (a relation by marriage, so lacking the necessary genetic impulse) who decided to buck the tradition and told us all, via her beloved Facebook, not to expect a card from her and to join her in giving to charity instead. The family roundly ignored her plea and, pleasantly, she still came round on the 20th to hand deliver my wife's birthday card and to stop for a cup of tea and a chat, which was very pleasant.
I like cards. For me, they are a small token from a non-digital age, handwritten and hand-delivered, harking back to when a digit was on the end of a hand only.
Yes I agree. I love Christmas and I love receiving lots of cards to decorate the living room with. It's sad to me that many people don't bother now, I think it's a lovely way to connect with people you maybe haven't seen all year and to catch up with their news. Happy Christmas everyone.
Lovely personal message Jean. So grateful for this forum today and every day. The internet in so many ways has separated and isolated us but in this virtual way we can connect with and help each other.
Thank you for your lovely, thoughtful post Jean. I lost my husband to cancer on Christmas Day 6 years ago and can resonate with your comments, particularly in the first few years but life goes on and I wouldn’t want to dampen others enthusiasm. I echo Singwell’s comment above, too, I’m incredibly grateful for the support and kindness given so freely on this forum.
I agree with you Jean. I feel sad for all the people who have no one too, and we give money to the Salvation Army, because they help these people. My dad was in it many many years ago, in the Gorbals in Glasgow, and the stories he told were hair raising, some were hilarious though.Hope you have a happy, healthy Christmas as well, and everyone else on this very helpful site too.
The assumption that being on you own at xmas (,whatever the age) means you will be feeling sad & lonely caused me to have great fear of spending Xmas day alone last year for the first time. Infact I thoroughly enjoyed myself & didnt feel lonely or sad. I welcomed the respite of chilling out & doing what I wanted & when. For those who have lost loved ones this may not be the case....but society need to change theur general outlook as there are plenty of us out there who do indeed spend Xmas alone & a fair few who choose to do so who are not unhappy or sad. To that end I do wish the media would reflect the truth of how Xmas is spent rather than peddling that the large family gatherings are the only way!
You couldn't have said it better jean. Let's all give a thought to those who less fortunate. In the USA there are many organizations that try to provide those who don't have much or are homeless with some sort of Christmas. Gifts and a Christmas meal. I know many other places around the world do the same. But there's always some who are left out. It's so sad.
Well I am going to be Scrooge! I do not like Christmas on the whole. I hate the horrible Christmas songs you get in supermarkets ( they have even made it over here now !) and the awful ancient films they show year after year on tv. It irritates me that as soon as Halloween ( ugh) is over the shops start filling up with Christmas stuff. It is just a huge commercial drag for me. I do put up very minimalist decorations and cook something special . But I will be very glad when the clock strikes midnight tonight and I won't hear the C word for another 10 months ( hopefully). But I do wish everyone who likes it a Merry Christmas and Happy New year .
Oh here in the USA Xmas decorations for sale are in the stores as early as August! I tell the clerks why not just leave them in the stores all year round. It has become way too commercialized here and it loses the true meaning for some. Some people who put lights on the outside of their homes leave them up all year. They don't turn them on past Xmas. Guess it's easier to leave them up than crawl up and down the ladder every year.Enjoy the holidays however you choose.
Ah, I'm a little different to you Auriculaire. I love Christmas, the music, the meeting up with friends and family. What I don't like is the way some people are so extravagant with food, presents and alcohol. It's the divide between the have and have nots. Some people in the world are dying from starvation, but a lot around us are taking themselves to an early death by eating too much. To me that's just not right and is why I give to charity and don't send Christmas cards.
Especially about the “horrible Christmas songs” in supermarkets. I love Christmas carols and meaningful Christmas music, but all that unescapable LOUD jingle-jangle everywhere is not for me. And yes, everything is much too commercialised; and it all starts too soon.
But I do like Christmas cards. I enjoy writing them as well as receiving them. It is a way of keeping in touch with friends and family that you rarely, if ever, see.
I tend to agree ,but I accept it and get on with it and have a laugh ,but what I do find annoying is the media giving us 24/7 doom and gloom on covid then wishing us all a merry Christmas as if they care 2 hoots.
i totally agree it is just not the same anymore i have sent cards but i dont think i will be doing it next year all the best everyone and hope 2022 is an healthy new year xx
Couldn't agree with you more. Christmas is the time of the year we do think of others and want to help. I often wonder how some folks celebrate the season if at all. I try to donate at other times of the year. I'm pretty sure need is there all year long. With postage at a high rate I quit the cards. I can email people greetings. I believe the pandemic has changed the world. We need to give more thought to the spiritual side of the holiday.
I guess covid can easily be transmitted through the mail system.
I think people are basically kind, but they just don't stop and think about others and some people won't admit that they need the company and help of others. On our town Facebook pages a few weeks ago, someone who lives hundreds of miles away asked if anyone knew if there was some place she could order her mother a Christmas dinner. That person was inundated with people saying they would provide a dinner for her free of charge and drop it to her. It brought tears to my eyes. I guess it needs a charity to link people up with each other.
Lovely to read everyone’s take on the holidays. I do love having a tree with lights to get through the gloomy months and decorations that bring back memories, though this year there was a lot of “I have no idea where this came from”! And I was very happy to have a quiet day without tons of presents and chaos. My husband & I agreed that our new roof was our present to each other.
Many happy memories of visiting my parents’ home near a North Carolina beach, and many lovely visits with our family in Lincolnshire as well.
Belated Christmas Greetings jeanjeannie50 . It is very interesting that what one person would think of as near hell another sees as heaven. We have moved about a lot so do send cards. One year I decided to send a donation to the Royal British Legion instead . I wrote and emailed to explain, it took me hours. The donation has continued but the cards are back too!
Let's look forward to an uneventful 2022 or if not an attitude that will cope well with it.
I don’t write on here very often myself but read what overs have to say about AFib. However I appreciate you’re words they mirror mine . All the neighbours cards through our door who barely speak from one day to the next ha! I’ve decided in future to donate to crisis. I play guitar and sing albeit not so much these virus days, but just before pandemic I sang few songs at Crisis Christmas dinner in our local area Newcastle Upon Tyne , that really made me think long and hard about how little some have and their loneliness . I’m fortunate have family and enjoy Christmas so as you say I don’t want to sound like I’m putting a damper on it ! , just giving a little to others helps me to feel I’ve a done a little. Merry Christmas to all.
Very true Jean. Christmas not the same since my grandchildren grew. So in my view it’s very over rated and lots of things a waste of money that could be put to better use ?
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Christmas Greetings from Rienij
Merry Christmas
T'is Christmas.....nearly!
